Difference Magic Chapter 1

I knew from a young age I was different than the rest of my school. Other then being adopted by a beautiful african american  women and being a white child I knew I was different. The other kids use to pick on me because of my differences. Being able to see things differently in art class, and being able to understand history more is one of the more reasons.

The teachers knew I was different and put me down, giving D’s and F’s for no reason and saying to my mother ‘She’s not getting it.’ or ‘she isn’t smart enough.’. But my mother knew I was one of a kind and could do anything better than those morons. (Her words, not mine.)

I was a nice child too. Always helping out at home. Always being a bright light in my mothers bad times. And just being the person I was born to be.

And when I graduated grade 8 and went on to the big world of Western High School in Kealon Town I was scared because I knew I was still growing to the person I would be in future.

But lately my mother has been worried about my sixteenth birthday. She’s been flipping through old notebooks and has read the same page several times. I know I jumped a year ahead but this is more important than just some damn minor niner year where we got to know everyone and figure out who we want to be BBF’s with.

“Mom, what’s going on?” I asked hiding behind her bedroom door.

“Nothing my sweet Evermore. Go hang out with Meg, or that boy.. Um… Who is he again?’ She asked. I could hear her flip through more pages.

“Kyle Mom.” I said smiling as I said his name. Hell just thinking about him makes me smile.

“Yes go, hang out with him. And remember be home by 11. Your sixteenth birthday is tomorrow and I need to be prepared.” She said running around her room stomping on a bunch of pages and pencils.

I rolled my eyes and walked away from the wall and out of the house to Kyle’s bedroom window climbing through it.

Kyle was sleeping. What a surprise. The brown haired buff guy is sleeping on a Friday afternoon.

“Kyle.” I whispered poking him in the chest.

“Hm… What Evermore?” He said rolling over covering his head with the blankets.

“Mom is still freaking out about tomorrow.” I said sitting down at his desk grabbing his quishy ball throwing it up and down in the air.

Kyle sat up showing off his rock hard abs rubbing his eyes taking the sleep out of his eyes.

“Well its a big year for you. Maybe she’s just worried she doesn’t have the party put together.” He said grabbing a shirt and putting it on.

“She’s looking up old notebooks in a different language. I really don’t think its about party favors.” I said spinning around in his chair. He stopped me looking into my deep blue eyes running his fingers through my blonde hair.

“Have you tried looking it up? Some of the words?” He said opening up his computer going onto the fabulous Kook.

“No…” I said sliding over giving him some room to sit on his giant bouncy ball.

“Well give me some of the words.” He said.

I said some of the words and a rush of wind flew through our hair and surrounded his room. I stood up and looked at Kyle.

“What the hell did you do!?” He yelled loudly.

“I don’t know. I thought you got a new air blaster.” I yelled back.

“Well you caused it! You fix it!” He said. I didn’t know what to do. So as joke I said.

“So what you think if I snap my fingers it will stop?”

I snapped my fingers and it stopped. My jaw dropped and Kyle’s did too.

This was weird, really weird. I looked at my hands and there was a mark on my wrist. It was in the shape of a star.

“Wow…” He said. I agreed.

“I have to go! I’m so sorry but I really must go.” I said rushing out Kyle’s window and onto the ground.

“Evermore! What are you doing?!?” He yelled.

“Going to talk to my mom about what happened!” I yelled back turning around and running back into mine.

“Mom! Something just happened! I just created a wind storm in Kyle’s room! Like what the actually hell!” I yelled running to her room. I stormed in and saw she was passed out. I rushed over to her unconscious body freaking out.

“MOM! Wake up! JESUS MOM!” I said. I listened closely to her heart beat and she was still breathing luckily.

“Maybe if I...” I said snapping my fingers. And it worked, she woke back up. I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

“Mom.” I said.

“Evermore. Oh.. I don’t remember much. How was I awakened?” She said as I helped her back up.

“Well I kind of used the power in my finger tips. I know I know, its crazy but when I snap my fingers I can do anything. Thats how I woke you up.”I said grabbing her hands smiling ever so bright. She smiled and sat me down onto her bed and handed me a note hidden in the bottom of her dresser drawer.

“Evermore, I know what crazy is and you are not crazy you have the magical gift of Witchcraft. Your real mother gave me this note when you were born to give to you on your 16th birthday.Yet your gifts have come earlier than expected. Read it.” She said handing the note to me.

I opened the note confused as ever. More confused then Kyle was when Mr. Fauls said that there will be a test in a few minutes.

I read the note and my eyes widen a lot more than expected. The note read;

“Dearest Evermore,

It’s been 16 long years and you’re finally of age where your magic will start to grow. The mark on your wrist is a star, but that will grow into a shooting star. I know it must be confusing and getting this letter from your god mother Judy. All will be okay though. Judy will lead you to me   even though we are connected in many different ways she will have to lead you. You’ve lived in the human world for too long. It’s time to come home. Evermore. Its time for you to be who you were always born to be.

Love you,

Mother.”

I dropped the note and hoped it wasn’t true but Judy told me everything how I was the only daughter of Queen Helen and how I was born to be the Princess of Kellinway. I couldn’t believe it. I was lied to my whole life. But I knew I was different but not this different. And now I have to go to a place where I will rule a kingdom and have royal duties.

“No NEVER! I won’t go back! I’m happy finally! And now you’re telling me I have to go to a place where I will have no fun, and no freedom.I won’t leave!” I yelled running out of my… God mothers room.

I ran out of the house and into the wood where no one will be able to find me. I couldn’t believe it a witch, a princess witch. Impossible, not possible. But it’s possible.

“Evermore?” A voice called. I stopped in my tracks and turned around. It was Kyle.

“And what are you running from?” He asked walking beside me.

“My… Mother.” I said pausing briefly.

“You are the worse lair. Sit down. Lets talk.” He said leading me to the fire pit.

“Explain and maybe I’ll have some advice.” He said putting his jacket over my shoulders.

I told hi m what had just happened and that I would have to leave and rule a kingdom. He smiled and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

“Judy doesn’t know how to explain things well. Evermore you don’t have to rule the kingdom. You’re mother just wants you home so she can train you. Thats what my mom did.Took me home then brought me back.” He said.

I was really confused.. Like awfully confused.

“Are you a witch?” I asked. He shook his head.

“Warlock big differences. Don’t worry all newbs get confused. Now you have to trust me to go back. I’ll even come with you. To help you. Please Evermore. “ I looked away into the forest then looked  back at Kyle. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

“But only because you asked.” I said getting up. Then the wind started acting up again. My hair was flying all over the place and Kyle held onto me. A huge gust of wind took us away and blew us both into what seemed another world. Which it was. We were standing in a huge palace where the walls were covered in flowers and everything was just so beautiful.

I had a feeling the battle was just beginning that training wasn’t the end. But this was the beginning and everything after this was just a battle ready to be faced. And looking at Kyle’s eyes I had a feeling I wouldn’t be facing it alone.

Reviews

[David Jae]

An interesting read and worth pursuing, with a strong anime feel to it.

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I see what you tried to do, here, and the concept is good. Your protagonist is strong and compelling, with a good angle. The young hero with a secret destiny is still a powerful storytelling device, if used properly. However, the opening feels slightly rushed and there is a lot of exposition that does not add to the narrative.

E.g.

I was a nice child, too. Always helping out at home. Always being a bright light in my mothers bad times.

Just saying this is pedestrian and flat, without engaging the reader, although the reader needs to know these things to engage with the character. You should show these things, not tell. Show that she cooks or cleans for her mother, something like that, not just telling.

Your dialogue is rough in places and sounds unnatural. You should try speaking it aloud to yourself and seeing how it sounds.

It might have been better to start this story in media res, with the action already underway, and bring in the backstory later. This grabs the reader's attention and a strong start is important, building a sense of mystery. You can always introduce back story later.

On the positives, I like your protagonist and the mother/daughter relationship is a rich and endearing one, with a lot of potential for character and conflict. The story has potential and I have a feeling that your second chapter might be stronger, once the story gets going.

Don't get disheartened; putting pen to paper is the hardest thing an author can do and it's the only way we learn. Many writers don't even get this far, giving up or losing focus. Once you've crossed this hurdle, it gets easier from here.

Ganbare

[Emmy Cannon]

Thank you so much for the advice! I know the story is a little wack. I was trying really hard not too but it kind of made sense! I am starting the chapter and will definitely use your advice! Thank you so very much again!

[David Jae]

You're welcome. You have potential and I can see great things in your future.

Ganbare