Falling for You

I think I feel for you, not because of your looks, but because of your smile, and your eyes. Those blue goddamn eyes, I'm the biggest sucker for those! Okay maybe those are considered looks, but theres more. The "Netflix & Chill" is fun but after wards is even better. 

We do this thing where we look into each others eyes, talking about random nonsense. He ends up licking my face and making me all smiley and giggly. And I'm not that type of person... 

I don't smile or giggle, I barely talk to people besides my friends. But he did something, he made me feel so alive on the inside. And I fell for him, still am honestly...

That bad thing about all of this is he's a "fuckboy" and I think he's just using me, but the more I fall, the more I can't pull myself up. And if I get hurt I'll build walls for the next person that will be protected by an army of thoughts, and a herd of broken trust. And I don't want to build those walls. But I might have to start early to pull me up from the fall I'm doing. What do I do? What should I feel? What am I going to do?

Cry every night, throw a pillow against my face and scream. Go into protection mode, and protect myself even if it hurts more doing that. 

I don't know and I'm scared.

I really like him... Really really like him...