The New Girl

Random story I made up.

The New Girl

 

 

Chapter 1:

 

Megan wasn't looking forward to her first day at her new school at all. She tossed and turned all night, but it was already morning. She got dressed did her hair, packed her lunch and ate breakfast. Mean while her mum and dad we’re getting ready for their new jobs her mum was going to be a librarian because she liked the quiet and her dad was going to be the bosses assistance at the Car Wash. Megan went outside got the mail gave it to her parents then caught the school bus. Megan hated catching the bus the students we’re always talking so loud and there was ways gum under the seats. But this bus was different it was neat tidy no gum the kids weren’t even talking but they were watching TV she thought '' I guess they got a TV because the kids are too noisy''. She sat in a seat and was hoping she'd fall asleep so she wouldn't face being the new kid!

 

Chapter 2:

 

She got to school and walked towards her classroom she was a little late the principle took Megan to her class she took a deep breath and walked in. Everyone was staring at her she started blushing the teachers name was Mrs. Cunningham. Mrs. Cunningham gave her a seat and told her to call her Mrs. C

Because most kids struggled with saying it. The morning session went really fast it was already morning tea. She grabbed her sandwich, apple and drink bottle and sat on a seat. She felt all alone but then to girls came up to her and said '' Hi I’m Meg and I’m Regan, We heard you were the new girl and had no friends so we'd just like to say.... TO BAD!''. Meg and Regan ran off laughing. Megan felt sad no one was ever that mean to her at her old school.

 

Chapter 3:

 

A girl ran up to her and said '' Hi I’m Christie I saw what happened a few minutes ago don't worry about them there mean they hassle every new girl''. Megan introduced her self and before she knew it they were sitting together, eating together, talking to each other all the time and playing together. Megan felt like they we’re sisters. The week had gone so fast and it was already Friday. She did her home work and it was so much it took her Saturday and Sunday to do it. On Sunday night she was glad to get a good night sleep because she would have a friend to go to school with other than being lonely. In the morning she got dressed and did the normal stuff and then Christie rang. She said '' Hi Megan do you want me to come over we can walk to school together and ride our bikes?''. Megan's mum said it was fine so Megan went outside with her bag and bike.

 

Chapter 4:

 

And a few minutes later Christie was there they rode to school chatting the whole way it only took them 15 minutes to get to school. The hooked their bikes and then Christie remembered and screamed YES! Megan said '' What?'' Christie explained that on Mondays every second week it was art day so they did art all day. Megan smiled a big as she could but deep down she was frowning. Megan wasn't good at art. But later on it turned out that she was the best in the class so she got a class award and a lolly. At lunch Regan Walked to Megan and said '' Teachers pet! Teachers pet! Teachers pet! Teachers pet! You are a teachers pet!''. And marched right off. Christie was in the toilets so she didn't see. At play time they went over to a wall called ''Sign Up!''. Everyone signed what subject they wanted to do this year. Megan signed Drama, Creative writing and Hip Hop.

 

Chapter 5:

 

A few days later Megan got a letter saying the classes she signed she was only able to do one of them she was put in Hip Hop. She didn't mind she was a really good dancer anyway. Then the next day something terrible happened. Megan tumbled down the stairs and broke her arm. After a cast was on she wrote a letter to Christie with her non-broken arm it said:

 

Dear Christie,

I broke my arm today I probably won't becoming to school until next Monday I tumbled down the stairs this morning and fell on my arm and it broke. Please tell Mrs. Cunningham about what happened and when I come back to school you can sign my cast.

 

Until then,

Megan

Megan walked down the street and put it in Christie's mail box because Christie wasn't home. When she walked back home she watched TV.

 

Chapter 6:

 

Monday had arrived and had to get her mum to help her tie her shoelaces. When she arrived to school Christie ran up to Megan and helped her with her books. '' I told Mrs. Cunningham she said its fine as long as you’re alright''. Said Christie. '' You your a good friend'' said Megan. Christie smiled she help put Megan’s books in her desk. Then Christie said '' I have to go to the toilet I’ll be right back stay there because I need to show you something''. Christie didn't go to the toilet she ran to class and told everyone to hide. She ran back to Megan grabbed her bag put it on the port rack and put her hands on Megan’s eyes. '' What are you doing?'' said Megan. '' Hold on just don't look close your eyes and you'll be there in a flash''. Replied Christie. They got to the class room and Christie yelled ''NOW!'' and everyone screamed '' SURPRISE..... WELCOME BACK WE MISSED YOU!''. Megan blushed she went even redder than the first day then Christie said '' What are we all waiting for lets PAR.TAY!''. Everyone ate party food and danced at morning tea everyone was full.

 

Chapter 7:

 

Everyone cleaned up except for Megan she was told to go to play time because it was her party. She waited for Christie and after 15 to 20 minutes Christie ran over to Megan. ‘‘whose idea was it to have the party?''. Said  Megan. '' You’re looking at mwa!''. Replied Christie they both laughed. '' Thank you it’s the most fun I’ve had since I broke my arm!''. Said Megan. They went to play and they played tiggi with Georgie, Hannah and Sophie. But Megan was careful of her arm. Christie just remembered something '' Say according to ur letter I can sign your cast now''. They laughed she held her cast out Christie signed it and wrote Break a leg! Xoxo Christie Then Megan said '' So now you want me to break my leg?!''. Sarcastically. They laughed so hard Megan couldn’t breathe! A month later Megan’s cast was removed she said to Christie '' I'm gonna miss the old guy! lol And I’m keeping the bit where it says break a leg so when I break my leg I can blame you''. They laughed again. '' No I’ll be the one with the broken leg it'll be my turn!''. Christie said.

 

And so Megan was no longer the new girl

                              And had a best friend Christie that reckons it’s her turn to break something that way she gets a party!

 

                          The End

 

Author's Note

..

Reviews

[Aly]

Its a pretty good story!
It needs a bit of editing though.
Here are a few suggestions.
Chapter 1- She tossed and turned all night, but it was already morning- You could try something like: She tossed and turned all night, but couldnt get to sleep. She eventually gave up, but by that time, it was already morning. Bosses- I think its actually Boss'. Not quite sure on that one. It really needs some punctuation.
Chapter 2- The yellow hurts my eyes! The horror! You badly need punctuation in this one too! Especially when Meg and Regan are talking.
Chapter 3- A fact that I hadnt picked up in the last 2 chapters- Paragraphs. You should use them. And again with the punctuation.
Chapter 4- You should get rid of the 'And' at the start of the chapter. It is unneeded. Punctuation and paraqraphs are needed.
Chapter 5- It all happens too suddenly. One minute she tumbled down the stairs and broke her arm, then the next she already had her cast and was writing a letter.
You should explain what happened in the hospital, and explain the pain of her broken arm etc. You have a couple words in there that you dont need, and you need the punctuation and paragraphs again.
Chapter 6- 'You your a good friend'- Do you need the you? And its you're xD You need you punctuation and paragraphs in here aswell.
Chapter 7- You never mentioned anything before about Georgie, Hannah and Sophie. You either need to say 'Georgie, Hannah and Sophie, from her class', leave them un-named, or worm them into the story somehow earlier. You made it happen suddenly again. You still need your punctuation and paragraphs.

This story has potential, I know that. You just need to go back through it again.
Im sorry if you think I am being mean with this, but it is honest critique.
All in all, it is a good story ^^
You should try to make the chapters a bit longer though, make it more interesting.
Good job Ashley :D

P.S- Dont hate me xD