go lightly so

lifetime baggage; this is a rengo, grouped tanka

you know those moments

that sometimes body slam us

improbable times

when you least expect such force

when that heavy steel door deep

inside that we try

always to keep shut tightly,

it gets pried open

just barely, hardly a hair,

by a flash of empathy

by the whisper of

a memory, a quick gasp

and then all the ghosts,

all the demons start pressing

on the door with all their weight,

that weight we cannot

bear, the hurt we cannot stand

and if the tears start,

we fear those tears will surely

go on forever, until

with a ragged sob

and every bit of strength found,

we slam that damned door

closed again. tonight Holly

Golightly crying, sobbing

in the rain, crying

“cat! cat!” in the wet alley --

that door slipped open:

suffocating sense of loss,

for what might or could have been,

what will never be,

children I will never hold,

the smiles never shared,

those dark things I turn away

from with bleak shame and heartbreak.

some stern giant hand

was squeezing my heart, but then

Holly found cat and weeping,

wrapped cat in her coat against

her heart. beautiful but flawed

Holly found the cat,

the cat that did not matter

she had claimed before,

and that raw hope helped me close

that damned steel door once again.

do those demons and

ghosts never die? don’t they grow

weary of pounding

and pushing on that damned door?

when will i be absolved and

they be banished?  when?

all that darkness was so long

ago. can they not

forget?   oh.   since i cannot

forget, they will not either.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[QuietlyCrash]

Beautiful. I absolutely adore this. The bit about the demons really did it for me, I had to reread it a few times because it struck such a chord. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I loved every second of it :')
-Riley

[Pryde Foltz]

I could almost hear the pounding in my head. Your rhythm was superb.

[Sami Khalil]

"weight we cannot
bear, the hurt we cannot stand
and if the tears start,
we fear those tears will surely
go on forever, until
with a ragged sob
and every bit of strength found,
we slam that damned door
closed again."
As always you are penning some good writes that has meaning and relevance...:)

[Angi]

I am afraid we may have to learn to live with the demons. Damn it. Angi~