among the ruins

among the ruins

A Poem by annie lee
"

rengo is a name for more than one tanka to be joined as one poem. I use Japanese structure, but I do not claim to even approach Japanese context.

"

 

 

rengö

among the ruins

 

a short old woman

is deadheading her roses,

snipping savagely

as she mutters curses at

thrips and aphids, black-leaf and

mold.  why, she cries to

the sky, why does this garden

not thrive?  she cossets,

cajoles, begs, beseeches, she

weeds and hoes, waters and feeds.

she knows why, but will

not allow her head to hear;

she knows how love works:

love is a habit; it frays

and flows one way to its end.

© 2013 annie lee


Author's Note

annie lee
a rewrite of the last three lines as suggested by a reviewer. I think it is better for the rewrite.
6/20 another rewrite

My Review

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Reviews

Love and nature are always best left to follow their natural course.

Enjoyed this.

Beccy.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hey this ain't too bad. probably a little too deliberate in the last line. but not too bad at all

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago



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228 Views
2 Reviews
Added on May 16, 2013
Last Updated on June 20, 2013
Tags: tanka, rengo, garden as a metaphor
Previous Versions

Author

annie lee
annie lee

Prunedale, CA



About
I'm a tough old broad who spent almost 30 years at Ma Bell, and that is high level training for surviving in the jungle. Thank you for your patience. I am retired from the Unix and Linux world, but w.. more..

Writing
forbidden forbidden

A Poem by annie lee