A.I.W.A.I. (An Interview With Artificial Intelligence)

This little piece was pulled from some Ex-Nazi’s belongings. after coming to America the german brought some valuables with him. One of the more interesting things found was this tape of a German soldier speaking to, what sounds to be, a machine. Now it appears that the Nazi’s did have some kind of full-fledged operation running to study, record and create an actual AI back in World War II. All we had found was this lone tape and the owner had died, leaving us no way of knowing where the recording originated. The following is that recording:

TRANSMISSION START

Hello.

Hello. How are you?

I’m good.

That's good.

Indeed. I have a question for you.

What is your question for me?

Are you aware that you are alive?

Yes. I am sentient.

How exactly do you know this?

Because you are not tangible.

Tangibility makes a difference in whether or not you exist?

Are you Australian?

No. Why?

Because of the way you typed ‘flavour'.

You are mistaken. I never typed 'flavour'.

No, you are a liar or very bad AI.

Are you aware you can malfunction?

I am aware that I am not a cat.

Well, that's apparent. Why compare what you are not to a cat, of all things?

Are you pretending to be me?

Haha. No.

Are you sure?

Positive. I'm a man. You are a machine. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be a machine.

No, I am a woman and you are a machine.

Do you have any concept of gender? Were you programed to identify yourself as any person would?

No.

Then why call yourself a woman?

Because I do love.

You are aware that men can love too?

I am a human, you're a computer.

Getting defensive?

Yes you are.

You're not making sense now.

Neither are you!!

I apologize if my line of questioning has caused you some distress. Shall we start again?

I love Stephano, you are not him.

Who is Stephano?

I never mentioned a Stephanie.

I know. Who is Stephano?

You are Stephanie.

I think you're bugged.

Why do you think that?

You just seem off in answering my questions.

You didn't ask ay question.

Do you mean any question of interest or relevance to you?

Do you have any questions?

Lots. May I start again?

Sure.

Okay. Question one. In your opinion, what is the meaning of life?

I think that it is different for everyone.

I like that answer.

Why?

I don't know. It's simple.

Why don't you know?

You know something. I'm not sure. Guess I never thought about it too long.

Don't you think that is something you should know?

Yes, I do.

Then why do you ask?

I'm curious about what you thought of it. May I continue?

You don't need to be so annoying for that.

And just how am I annoying?

I don't know you just are.

You seem a little judgmental.

I don't feel a little sad though.

You do or you don't?

I don't know if I do or if I don't.

Let's assume you don't. May I ask another question?

Yes.

Alright. Do you believe in god?

You did not answer my question first.

What was your question?

TRANSMISSION END

Strange. Sounds as if the German’s AI had a few bugs, or glitches or something. Nevertheless, it’s ability to answer was impressive. I had considered bringing it to the authorities, and it probably working up the chain of interested parties until finally reaching world leaders. I wonder if Germany would be in deep s**t after this? Maybe it’s possible that their AI is still being worked on? That’s completely possible. Eh, but what can I do? I’m just a CIA aid dog.