Jewish Parking In Golders Green.

A recollection of the absence of parking awareness by the otherwise lawful Jewish populace of Golders Green. (In London)

 

 

 

After the long Sabbath day,

Needful of Kosher cusine,

(Down by Temple Fortune Way.)

Come Jewish folk from Golders Green,

 

Pouring in their automobiles,

(As if in Rabbinic Plot,)

They cram into A1 road,

Create a hellish parking lot.

 

In all the rest of London town,

The traffic runneth free!

But on the Sunday!  See it blocked,

Far to the north, from Camden Green.

 

Therein the local Police Station,

Madge the warden is distraught.

“Unlock Kosher, metalled mass!”

Calls for urgent Police Support!

 

Yossi Stern in his Mercedes Benz!

Parked one, two, three, abreast!”

He' sound asleep behind the wheel,

Salt Beef sandwich on his chest!

 

On the pedestrian crossing lines,

Parks Missus Koplowitz,

Silver Menorah in her hand,

Seeing if the candles fit.

 

And all the time the cars behind,

Honk their horns and drivers fume.

Yet they must rage hours and  hours,

While  Beth Din men find parking room.

 

Crash! Went the wing. Crunch! Went the boot.

Another Volvo buckles up.

Eva Lyons, dropped her bagels,

Reversed into a tipper truck!

 

Mrs Wolfson and Sister Blanche,

Park side by side, swap news and laugh.

“Poor Granny Ritsons in a spot!

Her toe's stuck in the Mikve Bath!”

 

Gladys Greenberg's pavement parked!

Oh!  Here she staggers out from "Blooms,"

Weighed beneath vast carrier bag,

Of Vienna Sausage,  huge volumes.

 

Still as the smoking traffic snarls.

Into the shops; the Hebrews pour,

Buying Babka and Mandelbrot.

Abandon Citroens, Four by Fours,

 

At three o clock the streets, swift clear.

And London traffic, free doth roam.

'Cross gherkin skins and bagel crumbs.

With the joyful Jewish safely home!

 

King David’s line,  chaotic time,

Return well stocked, to  dignity,

And,  happy humours still survive

In this “Can’t Park” community!

 

Week by week, year by year,

This nightmare traffic blocks the roads.

But were it just to disappear,

Goodness! we would all be bored!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Anyone disagree?

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

After reviewing this can I get my parking ticket validated . Good job.

[Suzanne Sherif]

This is too funny!

I guess I would compare it to "Black Friday" over here. It's a non-denominational shopping mania day in the US. We prefer to just stay home that day. It's too scary out there! : D

[Amanda]

can't really say if i disagree, since i have yet to see this spectacle...but it is reminiscent of the major traffic upsets on a partying weekend on 6th Street in Austin, Tx....i can just imagine this going on.

Week by week, year by year,
The nightmare traffic blocks the hoard.
But if it were to disappear,
Goodness! we would all be bored!

this i can really believe!...lol

nice write, Ron.

Amanda