Prettiest Paintbrushes

Knives are the prettiest paintbrushes 

You don't think so because you don't know what the rush is

What the rush is like

How to describe the feeling of a knife

Slicing your skin open

Making you feel like you're not so broken

Even though you are

It feels like we are so far

Far from being normal

But the blade makes us not care at all

Not care about anything we used to

All we care about is when we can next find an excuse

An excuse to cut 

So, slowly your mouth is sewn shut

As your wounds start doing the talking for you

And the words in your head encourage more use

More time spent alone in your room with the blades 

Every time your parents enter your room it feels like a raid

Feels like they're going to find them this time

But instead you feed them a bullshit line

"No, I'm just tired, I'm really okay"

I know exactly what they will say

"Ok, well, we really love you"

You're on the verge of tears soon after they leave

Because you know if you told them, they wouldn't believe

Believe what a monster you've become