Circles

Turning circles once again
Going nowhere only where we've been
Turning circles our minds then
Going somewhere but can't begin
Turning circles with the wind
Blowing anywhere drifting in
Turning circles all over again
Seemingly everywhere chasing sin

Author's Note

What do you think of the form and content?

Reviews

[emmajoy]

There are some great phrases to this poem, especially the repeated 'turning circles' and the lines: ' Going somewhere but can't begin.. ' and 'Blowing anywhere drifting in ' ~~ both illustrate the turning circles you 'talk' about... and are quite individual.

I've only read two of your poems but find that your words flow very fluently and economically.

In one line, maybe you've tried too hard to use the meter with the 'turning circles with our minds THEN' to rhyme with 'again' ? Not sure the 'then' makes sense.. but I'm no expert - believe me, and might have misunderstood the use of the word.

[Nyida Strong]

The rhyme and metre of this piece was spot on. It can be difficult on occasion to find the words one needs to create a flow like this. Too much of a good thing can sound... "sing songy", for lack of better words. That line can be a thin one and easily crossed, you succeeded in staying close enough to make the rhythm work, yet far enough away to avoid to sing-a-long mess.

Now that business is finished, I did rather enjoy this piece. Life is just one big circle, continually turning in on itself. All around this is a good write. (See, I'm not the b***h)

N. Strong

[Bud]

I'm no expert, but I do like this. I, personally, find nothing wrong. I believe one should express what they feel without boundaries of rule or line. Freedom of the press!

[Butterflymom]

I thought it was a very interesting piece, and well expressed. Great job!

[CrimsonMisery]

ithink this is pretty good, i love the flow of it :)