The Rigors of Being an Astronaut

Psychiatrist with NASA shares a dream.

It's good to be retired now.  I no longer do private consultations or occupational work for NASA.  But I do occasionally give lectures in the area of stress related disorders in occupational health and safety, especially in the domain of sensory deprivation and confined working environments.  I have been in fairly high demand during the present COVID-19 crisis.  My return flight from one such engagement may have precipitated the following dream.  So here it is.  See what you think.

I've just gotten off my flight and am getting into a small airport-to-parkade shuttle bus.  There are ten passenger seats and only one is left, right at the back.  All the passengers are in immaculate business attire. I am decently dressed but have soccer cleats on and a roll of white athletic trainer's tape in my right hand, with a small lap top bag in my left.  I'm proceeding towards the back when I have an overwhelming urge to break wind.  This was the expression that my father taught me when making reference to you know what -- farting.  He was a medical man as well, but chose to use this poetic phrase in the family and it just kind of stuck with me.  Of course the medical term is flatulence but if you wanted to be a physician than people could relate to, simply 'farting' was acceptable.

You just smiled.  I know that you did.  You might even have chuckled.  Don't deny it.  As a consulting psychiatrist I can recognize denial when I see it.  I shared this dream with my wife and I saw her smile.  Just a little. Briefly.  But it was enough to encourage me in this communication.

Analysis for later.

Right now, I want to share some of my NASA experience with you.  It may help when we take a look at the dream.  So, for now, hang on.  The G level stress may impact you, but again it may be instrumental when we take a look at the dream.

One of my roles was in the area of astronaut trainee selection.  Astronaut training is rigorous, requiring unusual cognitive, psycho-social, and physical aptitudes.  In one short time span (March 2 to 20, 2020) NASA received over 12,000 application Most of the applications were fairly simple to screen out.  Those who were morbidly obese were unsuitable.  Suits just come in S,M and L.  Those who couldn't count backwards from 10 were also ruled out.  Launch sequencing relies on this cognitive ability.  Others get dizzy just standing up.  Some were seen in the waiting room with their mothers.  We don't allow mothers in space.

Psychological profiling is an important part of recruitment and I had the privilege of helping to formulate many of the selection criterion and then in administering various tests and doing interviews.  We used a lot of abbreviations at NASA, so you might want to pay attention.  (All of the information here is available on the internet.  We are not violating any secrecy laws here.)  One of our divisions was DOOFUS -- Division of Occupational Fears, US.  Other countries have a similar division like DOOFCan, DOOFHK.  They all pretty much perform the same role.

You can imagine that working in confined space elicits all kinds of dysfunctional behaviour.  Everything from mild irritation to outright rage.  Some people are very tolerant of their 'space' being encroached upon, while others just begin seething.  Some are able to inhibit their desire to lash out physically and verbally.  Others just loose it.  These were classified as ITSWCSI* and generally rejected unless we were looking for administrative heads in other (non astronaut) divisions.

Now we are going to get a little closer to the point.

Some candidates had DING (Discharge of Intemittent Noxious Gas) that could cause them to be scrubbed from the program.  The other term that we used (which has a more aeronautical nuance) was Fast Acting Retro Turbulence, FART for short. As you might imagine, this could be a serious problem.  For everyone.  We actually had a program for teaching advanced inhibition techniques.  Like counting backwards from ten, deep pelvic floor exercises, breathe holding, Valsalva manoeuver, and of course dietetic counselling.  But there could be some detrimental consequences to many of those efforts, like elevated blood pressure, aneurysm and blood clots.  So we generally encouraged these candidates to consider jobs with large spatial areas, noisy air conditioning and forgiving coworkers.

So, you can see that some of my vocational background might have relevance to the dream.  The inhibition of Fast Acting Retro Turbulence is obvious.  But what about the people in immaculate business suits?  Is the number ten significant? The roll of athletic tape? The soccer cleats?

Please submit your speculations, best guesses, observations etcetera and I will see if I can get you into the program.

*Inability To Deal With Close Social Interaction

Rafita

Reviews

[Rafita]

This review is unusually perceptive. I will take it into consideration when reviewing you application.

[JD Major]

Gracias Rafita! ...Funny & Engaging!
Yes, please add me to NASAAC (the list of NASA Astronautical Candidates).
As such, I submit my AQ (Answers to your Questions):
-You are UA: "Up in the Air" about what to do in your retirement.
-Ours is a base-10 culture: You are differently dressed, yet you complete the PU (Passenger Unit).
-The Tape is E: Empathy toward FP (fellow passengers): It can "tape over" an imminent FART.
-Your Cleats represent FOF: Fight or Flight should, your FP's attack in response to a FART.
In CONCLUSION, You are a classic DMWEEFOFUA: Differently Minded and Well Equipped with E & FOF, and UA about where you fit.
Fly Ever Higher, Rafita! Life is the Journey, Not the Landing, FEHLJNL !!!