took a wrong direction

i thought that drugs would end my suffering si i tried them but i was wrong cause i sufferd even more.so i stoped using them and i became my self once again dealing with my problems with another ways.

SHE .... she was adorned in all shapes and colors.....she deluded me slightly.....she came to me abjured in those fineries she seems beautiful, shining bright, she came to me with a request,i was her janitor i let her in, i opened up my mind, my heart's locked doors.i welcomed her, i was talking with mouth full of extray feelings.i didn't know who is she , or even wanted to know i never suspected her. but when i fell;i saw,i understood her false identity.i realised that i fell in such an endless pit a long time ago since she came to me ,since i accepted her.i didn't know back then, but i was lost in her haze,i was awestruck i couldn't see,i couldn't hear a thing cause i was blindfolded. on a sunlit day my world became burgundy , i was brooding all the time.
seldom i smile, she sewed my lips so i can't scream,shout for help,you can only feel my meaningless sobs getting higher, when you touch me.i have been roaming around looking for a shelter; for a cache. i have been scrawling down the words on the white papers, but still they are white cause my words, are meaningless.
tried to fend her off, tried to runaway but still, she's hunting me.i even had to alter myself but the same old thoughts, the same cold,empty feelings are still. who Am I ?! i  even couldn't recognize myslef, i've been a prowler..roving in the streets like a mindless person. but i held on with all my might, i stood still, i was sturdy as a rock cause i was cold. she torments me, maiming me, her scent hat emanate from her body erodes me, turn by turn. i look for a lair just a cave just a  lone hut just a glade to lurk.i'm nothing but rust......interwoven thoughts,can't think;feelings are blended can't feel. it's weary, that calous heart, i want to breath. she reigns me i became her kingdome. NO for captivity YES for freedom when will i see those flickers ? ........
i delve too deep to find the ansewers but her potent power just knocked me down. a timeworn soul i became;
found a nook , sat by the sea,watching the crashing waves  of the berserk sea; it was the haven ......
quietly, closed my eyes opened up my heart felt the breeze ......believed in my , believed that she made me like this cause i gave up only i gave in to her. and i let it be, still there will be a time for me to knock it down ; after a long lethargy... i'm awake .. i found my lantern to light up my darkness. slowly opening my eyes; i saw the sun, yes i saw the yellow bomb shining she even hurted my eyes, the mist is sailing away.
and that mesery was like yesterday , and today is just another day.
i knew, i learnt a lesson that i will never make a wrong turn, a bad decision, i will never fall for something i thought it would erase my suffering.                  

Author's Note

thx for reading Xd feel free to review whatever you want i apperciate it.