the letter on her dresser

Her mother walks in the room and sets her daughters laundry on the bed. As she was about to walk out, she glanced at her dresser and there was a letter. "To Dad" was written on the envelope. Her mother opened it. Her daughter wrote in the letter: 

" Dear Dad, 

Without even knowing it, you have destroyed my life. For 16 years you weren't there for me not even once. I always told myself that I didn't need a dad, but i was wrong. There was not one day that passed that I didn't think about you. I wish i could scream at you and tell you how I feel about you. You make me sick sometimes. Dad, why weren't you there when i got that perfect report card? Straight A's I got on that report card, but guess what you wouldn't have known because when i came home with it you weren't there. I heard you have a family. A great one to i heard from your other daughter. Oh yeah dad i talked to one of your other daughters. Her and I are close, but don't worry she doesn't know i'm her half sister or that your my father. Why don't you call? You hurt my mom, you had me when she was in high school, and then just left her once i was born? What did you not think you were going to be a good dad? Like I said, I had heard your other daughter has a perfect family, so you must be a good dad, am I right? Because of you hurting my mom and leaving her, I am afraid to even talk to a guy. My self-confidence is very low. I sit in my room every night crying and wishing you would come back to my mom. I don't feel loved. I hate everything about me. I self-harm and I am suicidal and depressed most of the time. You wouldn't know though. If you ever read this letter tell your wife and the kids I said hi. Also tell mom I love her. Im so done with life! Thanks for everything dad. 

Love, 

your daughter/ nothing to you " 

After reading the letter her mom went to the living room to call the father of her daughter. As the phone rang she looked out the window and there was her daughter hanging on a tree. Her daughters face was pale, cuts on her wrist, her body still, and lifeless. She screamed and said "She's dead. Why God? Why?". Her dad had heard her mom screaming. He rushed over with the police. it was to late. She's gone...It took a death of a daughter for the father to notice her.... 

Author's Note

let me know if you liked it or not..any suggestions to make it better?

Reviews

[luvs2write]

Wow, this is such a powerful story. It truly is such a tragic situation. I really liked this though, you kept it short and simple but told a good story. Some suggestions...I wonder if you have thought of changing the font of the letter? It's not a big deal, just an idea. You could change the font of the letter, but leave the rest of the story the same. I think the last sentece might need to be reworded...you have it as "She's gone...it took a death of a daughter for the father to notice her..." It might read a little better if it were worded more like "She's gone...It took the death of his daughter for her father to notice her." Or something along that line...anyway, I know those are just tiny suggestions but that's pretty much all I can think of right now. This is really good, keep writing!!

[J.R.H.]

Very powerful. There are some rough parts; I would get rid of the last line in p1. but ultimately an intense read. Good stuff.

[Dragonhawk0]

Its a great story. The letter reads almost as if it was a song. I noticed some minor grammatical errors. Otherwise it is great. I agree with luvs2write that there should be something to indicate the letter like a font change and also to change that line.

[Nessie_AJ]

This piece was so gut- wrenching, a lot to relate to and so much pain felt. It all unveils how deep we can hide things and how others notice only when it's too late, that's in regards to the father & the mother in this story. Great work.

[Andrew Liddy]

Its really good, I liked the concept and how it got me, I felt for the character and her life. Maybe make it a little more formal? Its a goodbye letter so she might right t a bi more formal. and last thing it feels a bit cluttered like there are words in there not needed. I love it just needs a little tweaking but its good :)

[David Chavez]

I liked this, its a true metaphor emphasizing, you should never
take things for granted, those who are near you are those who you should treasure, we are not here in this world forever and I think you made a valid point on that.