My Name Doesn't Matter

Some thoughts

Death of the Gifted.

 

This might be the cessation of consciousness for me.  It feels funny.

I have never gone to this point in my head, but it is here now…4s and 5s and 9s…

I am so guilty of everything I've ever been accused of……

And I have always been alone, to commit my sins and accept them, without a scapegoat.

 

In my mind I am so wrong and so worthless every waking moment..

It is a torment that is unrelenting in its mental self-mutilation,

 

I don't have the tools or the intellect to negotiate myself out of the DNA of human consciousness, and I am therefore bound to experience it, despite my wishes, and, because of all of my failures and torments, I can't stop it.

 

I am very sorry for all the pain that I have caused to everyone.  I can't offer anything to anyone in this world as I exist, I am just alive and conscious and human, unfortunately.

 

I am so sorry for my family, I am worthless.  And I am stupid.  I can't comprehend basic human interactions and emotions….

 

Life will be better…..

When I leave,

 

At least there will be closure,

 

Maybe she can find someone else, and find better support from that person….

 

I can't live here anymore………

I am so very sorry for everything…

 

I am dead.

I love you all.

 

My name doesn't matter.