The Sun

Sun Lover

Slowly it rises up from behind the ocean.

Shimmering like diamond crystals in motion.

 

It's bright radiate glow peaks by high noon,
Then it prepares the sky for the stars and moon.

Surely as it appears, it desends and disappears.

It's faithfulness has lasted for billions of years.
 

Reviews

[Lorelei Middlesex]

I liked this. It was good for a First Time, as you said. :D

It's bright radiate glow peaks by high noon,
Then it prepares the sky for the stars and moon.

^
^
These two lines were my favorite, since I think they captured the sun most. And that part about the sun being faithful was a good move.

I think it lacks something, however. The ending was too abrupt--you could have written more, I believe. Much more. :D

[Wildecat]

Short sweet and too the point, a very good write.

[Blackbirdsong]

This poem is beautiful in it's simplicity. I can see the sun rising, peaking and ebbing through each line of this work. Well done.

[Tomás Ó C..]

I like the poem... but what has it to do with Limerick, Ireland?

[Maliya Erison]

This piece is very beautiful, it touches the emotions but not too heavily. Like a lover's caress on the mind. Your use of language provides a vivid image that is captivating and alluring, and you've once more proven yourself to be force to be reckoned with.

Many blessings.

- Maliya Erison

[Imperfection]

Very beautifully expressed.

It's faithfulness has lasted for billions of years.
-I loved this line.

That's why they say "shine like the sun"

Well penned.

[Elise O'Haire]

I really like this! I love the flow of the words, though I personally don't believe the part about the billions of years. Otherwise, I think it is great! I don't know much about Limerick, so I can't help you there. =)

Elise