Inspired

A short essay on a young woman's struggle.

As a mixed raced Hispanic girl living in one of the most dangerous housing projects in Brooklyn, NY, it was often very difficult to adjust as a child. There were many times when I had to think before reacting, when finding myself in many vulnerable situations. Writing has always been my passion, my escape to fantasy adventures in my mind.Maya Angelou inspired me as a young woman even when I had to endure hurt and dramatizations throughout my life. Angelou gave me that broad understanding that I could accomplish anything I put my heart and mind to, because I am and will always be a phenomenal woman. 

Angelou endured a lot of racism in her small-town isolated black community in which she spent most of her childhood years, and later wrote about it in "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings". In one of the novel's significant passages, Angelou remembers her grandmother taking her to a white dentist who refused to perform an emergency procedure, claiming he'd rather stick his "hand in a dog's mouth than in a n****r's." Angelou soon grew up to hate her appearance as a tall Negro girl with nappy hair and a huge space between her teeth; nevertheless, Angelou did seem to embrace a sort of inner strength and nobility through her immediate family and black community. 

Racism also ran like a streaming flow of water within my Brooklyn community back in the 80's. If you were a Puerto Rican, Mexican, Indian, Asian, or an African American, then you were considered of low class and value. Most of the law enforcement, business owners, and landlords were predominantly white (Italian or Russian), and they owned everything. Blacks would fight the Hispanics over sidewalks, and so forth (turf wars is what they would call it). My mother was never scared because she earned her respect by showing people that she was not one to be messed with. She never associated with people that were looking to do us harm in any way; however, my brothers and I had to fight a lot in order to show others that we were not afraid, even though deep down I always knew I was. There was an incident when I got jumped and robbed in my project elevator, mainly because of the fact that I am a Hispanic female. 

Angelou also experienced a trauma when she was a young girl, by her mother's live in boyfriend where she was molested and violated of her youth. As a young girl, I was also exposed to the same harsh torture of having been robbed of my innocence. One of her poems that brought me back from this is entitled "Life Doesn't Frighten Me". When I first read this poem it made me think, because it was very hard dealing with what I had to endure, and this helped me find strength in my family and friends. I felt I was alone and afraid for a long period of time after this traumatic issue that being around people that loved me helped me cope and move on with my life as a young adult. 

One thing that I can relate to with Angelou was when she felt embarrassed and ashamed of her appearance, because of my features I often felt ashamed and did not like people looking at me. Most of my teenage life I had to be subjected to perverse stares and glares by men of all ages, young and old. This made me feel very uncomfortable all the time, and due to the insecurities that I held within, I was always physically fighting someone. I felt like men were always violating me when they looked at me, that for a long period of time I walked with my head held low. One day as I was passing a bulletin board in high school, I noticed a flyer with the poem Phenomenal Woman printed on it, as I read through the lines, tears started to well up in my eyes. I could not believe that the same author that I had read about previous times before wrote this inspirational piece. In some form of fashion, everything that I wanted to say to myself when I looked in the mirror was in this small piece of poetry. This was one of the many influential times in my life when someone touched me so deeply, because this is when I realized that there was a reason for the stares and glares, and why men and women (physically, mentally, and emotionally) both found me intriguing and beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside. 

In retrospect, Angelou and I have gone through various similar situations in life that brought us to a point in our lives in which we knew that we wanted to share our pain and hurt with others in order to help counsel positively. Never in my wildest dreams I could have imagined touching the life of someone else; nevertheless, I am obliged to share my story so that I can be an inspiration to someone, just like Maya Angelou was to me. 

-Ms. B

Author's Note

Please comment and share this story in order to inspire others. Thank You.