Hope, Pray and Cut

It hurts, deep down inside of me.

It's painful, not sure where it begins,

And where it ends.

I don't know what else to do,

Everything else doesn't work.

All I can do is hope, pray and cut.

Cut, in an attempt to rid it,

Hope, that one day it'll be gone,

And pray, that I'll be happy again.

What can I do, except those three things?

Whatever you say, it never works.

You're gone now, I'm left alone.

I'll never be able to see your face again,

Nor hear the words that kept me going.

All I've left are memories, but they are not enough.

I have lost you to a battle unknown,

I committed a sinful crime, being ignorant.

I could've saved you, but I didn't know how.

I wish I did, for you would be here now,

Be here with me, to be my saviour.

But now that you are gone, what do I do? 

Reviews

[Frieda P]

A sad situation too many find themselves in the clutches of and difficult to stop, I have a friend who cut, she explained the release of pain in doing so, I could never understand causing more pain due to pain and compounding it, but it seems to work in an odd way for some people, well said.

[1Disawsum]

thankyou! Yes, for some people, cutting is a way of control. For me, it's the control that cutting gives me. That's why I cut. It only hurts when you want it to, that's how I like to say it! Thankyou for the comment, much appreciated. xx shall look at your poems too!

[Frieda P]

Not really, you have to look at it from the point of view as it's controlling you...I've had this discussion with my friend many times, we agreed to disagree :)

[1Disawsum]

aha, but what you say is also true, though. It's all psychological, isn't it? I thought I gained some control, but in the end, it starts controlling you. But still, you think that at the same time, you gain some more control. It's all just a cycle.
I've been clean for a few months, but sooner or later, I have a feeling that I might just have the strong urge to cut again, and knowing me, I won't be able to stop it!!! Thanks for your comment :D