High School Expectations (HELP!)

These stories will come from my personal experiences.

High School Expectations

As we all know, we set goals to ourselves in order to achieve our own expectations. That is all I wanted to do for High School, make myself feel like I can be smart like other people. When I was a 8th grader, I had exceptional grades, 99% average on my report card. Although, my worst subject was English. I did not have any of the skills of someone who would do honors English well in High School, which is variety of sentence structure, an essay that thoughts flowed, or essay that was bearable to read. 

The hard part about English; there's no rules, no borders, or no correct answers. It seems no matter how hard I try, I never become satisfied. You can not actually study for English or specifically find the right answers. Another factor contributing to why I am doing bad in English is my prior knowledge. I also can't speak that well by myself. You see, I am Chinese and I had been speaking only Chinese until I was 5 years old. I do not have the foundation of knowledge that my peers do. My parents speak Chinese too so they are incapable of helping me learn. That is why I barely manage to pass English class. 

In fact, I was never a English person. I had grown up liking math a lot more than I do writing essay's. My essay's don't flow very well probably because of the fact that I do not speak well myself very often. I would talk to my friends and come up with gibberish while trying to talk. You may be thinking, why did you take Honors English if you can not speak English very well and do not like writing or reading. I honestly do not know myself why I put myself in such a hard position that I would very likely fail. I guess I have a ambition to try to be challenged on areas that I could improve on instead of excelling at what I am already good at. 

I need your advice, or your help. Have your ever dealt with a situation similar to mine; where you feel like your writing was  not very good. Or feel like you should take challenges on the things that your not very good at?

Author's Note

I also would like input in how my sentences flow, or does it make sense.