Never to understand

The silence broke by the mans deep voice as he looked at his patient. Asking the girl " how are you today?". For he only want to get her to talk. He was tired of the silence that filled the room each appointment they had.
Taping her leg and staring out the window , she decided that she would tell this man the truth so that the question she heard so many times would finally stop. Avoiding eye contact she looked out the window and said quietly but stern " I want to die".
He was surprised. Not surprised by her answer but that she chose to talk. Hoping for it to continue he asked " You want to kill yourself ?" Silence once again filled the air for a small moment as she for the first time looked him dead in the eyes.
" No, I do not want to kill myself. I want to die in an accident. Maybe a car crash or a crazy man with a gun. I want it to seem as I didn't want to die, I don't want my family to live with the thought of me killing myself" the girl stated with a new found confidence in reveling the truth.
He stared at her puzzled. Not sure if he understood her , he asked yet another question: " Why would that be better for your family?".
Laughing silently at the clueless man she replied with a louder voice than usual " If I were to commit suicide they would live the rest of their life's with a guilt and thinking that they could have made me happy or saved me but if I died in an accident they wouldn't think that I want to die. They would think that I was happy and it was just that : an accident".

Reviews

[MaximumFlight]

So deep, I feel as if I can also relate to this as well. Great job.

[Carol Cashes]

"Laughing silently at the clueless man" Sadly, many mental health professionals can be just this clueless. No running in traffic for you, young lady!

[H.N.Seal]

Tho my writing may not seem like it I am now in a better mental state and choose to fight for my family but because many dont truly understand the struggle with mental illness i have choosen mental health nursing as my career path. I want to use my pain as a way to related and help others :)

[Carol Cashes]

You're right that many don't understand mental illness and its numerous forms. Mine manifests as anger and I learned to make fun of it. It works, mainly because, quite frankly I'm hilarious, but it defuses what could be mountains out of other people's molehills. Only one whose "been there" can really help others who are struggling. Oncologists don't have to have cancer to treat it, but mental health professionals who know the struggle first hand are the best in their field. Kudos for recognizing your pain as a huge asset.