get away

When I lay down at night

The first thing that runs through my mind

Is possible death.

How many pain pills would it take to kill me?

Then I take three sometimes four or five

And then reluctantly put down the bottle

In the summer I climb out to the roof

When nobody is awake and stand there,

Looking over the edge and wondering

If anyone would even know I’m gone

I couldn’t get two people to my birthday

Why would any come to my funeral?

The choking is unintentional

But I know it’s me doing it.

I wake up gasping for air

My hands tight around my neck

And then I cry

What is making me like this?

Am I insane?

Sometimes I cry before I do anything.

I cry when I lay down trying to chase away the impulses.

But they always come back they always do.

As soon as I fall silent the thoughts swirl in my head

And I just want to get away.

I’m in the prison of my own mind

Something I struggle with everyday

No one knows what it’s like at night

I never tell anyone.

Even when it’s happened right next to them

Waking up gasping for air.

Sudden panic attacks.

At school it’s so easy to push them away

But alone in silence

They bombard me with full force

You’re ugly, you’re fat, and you have no friends

Everyone hates you; you’re just a stupid brat

You’ll never be loved, what kind of name is yours?

Who wants a crazy person in their life?

You’re so stupid, and you’re alone

Better start buying cats now

Because your gonna need em

You should just die, go away like everyone wants you to

All these start to take over my mind.

Even at school. I start crying for no reason I want to say

And I just want to get away

Like everyone else around me

They just want to get away…from me

 

Reviews

[Lover Of Words]

Your beautiful..But i feel ya in this one cause i sometimes feel the same! Good powerful intense write!

[beautiful dreamer]

thanks kels :)

[Lover Of Words]

My pleasure

[InsanityWriter]

:'( You're not ugly. You are beautiful. ^_^ *hugs*

[beautiful dreamer]

aw insanity *hugs* thank you