Game's

Cheating isn't a fun game to play, i learnt that, the hard way

Games

 

Oh baby, how you loved games,

Card games, Board games, Easy games, Hard games.

I never quite understood the thrill you got from them,

All I knew was that you never wanted to stop playing.

Once you got bored you always picked up another;

New game, same rules.

 

You had me hooked from day one, the ambition to win, eating at me from the inside. What seemed like innocent fun soon turned into wicked games. You had me thinking each game was different, but you always played with the same set of rules. You were just so good, so good at making me believe you were playing by the rules, but that was never the case.

 

-

 

The first game we ever played was Monopoly and you showed me then and there how clever you truly were, always making the right investment at the right time. You bought property all over the board, till you consumed almost all of it. The same way you slowly bought all of me. Investing in me, slowly purchasing pieces I can never buy back.

 

But you got bored of that game after a short time, so we moved onto twister, you lived a twisted life full of lots of twisted actions. You taught me what it felt like to have twisted thoughts, a twisted mind and when it got so twisted up, you showed me what it felt like to fall down.

Once I fell, I thought the game was over, but you insisted on trying another.

 

UNO was the next game on the cards; oh you loved this one very much. Always telling me there was only one. One card left, but that was never truly the case.  You loved to call “UNO” just to grasp my attention, but you always had multiple cards up your sleeve, ready to play.

 

We played scrabble every now and then, but I never quite mastered it, I could never really work out what the letters H, C, T, E, A, R, E spelt. Turned out they spelt “CHEATER”. It was right in front of my face the whole time, but you blinded me. Left me blinded to the truth.

 

Cluedo was another; you were always brilliant at covering up your tracks behind you, almost like you could get away with murder. Technically you did. You loved the rumors, the secrets and the “what if’s” but only because you knew the truth while you left me guessing. Each time was a stab to the back, you left me to bleed to death, without a care in the world.  

 

You were always good at putting on a show, Charades was another game you fooled me with, always acting as something you weren’t. You had me believe a cheater was not a cheater, a liar wasn’t telling lies. Using it all as a disguise, you manipulated my thoughts as you left me guessing time and time again,

“ Does he really love me?”

“ Does he really mean this time is different?”

 

Checkers came next, you taught me how it felt to lose, time and time again. You set me up to fail, each time I thought I had it in the bag, it turned out that was exactly what you wanted me to think. Strategically placing them to make me set mine in a specific place, you manipulated my thoughts and actions with your own. You had your checkers lined up for the win since the very beginning, but I always saw the best in you and never admitted you were a cheater.

 

You quite enjoyed hide and seek, slipping into the darkness you thought I’d never find out. The places you’d been, the things that you’d done. But I found it all, like little clues, and when all added up, I caught you. But I never won the game, for each time I found you, you’d hide again, and the game continued.

 

Oh and Tic tac toe, Who will stay? Who will go? You set up the game so I’d loose from the very beginning but wanted me to think I had a chance. You made me be the x to your o, I had no choice, for you loved the game, and I just couldn’t leave.

 

-

 

Your games played with my head, I could never really win, you always had a new move up your sleeve. Sometimes I felt like I was winning, one step ahead of the game, but that was just a game as well, I was always 10 steps behind, but you made me believe otherwise.

 

I got addicted to the ambition, the desire to win one day, so I always came back for more, thinking each game was different “ its different this time, I promise baby” But even your words were just a game, poisonous and infecting, they made a monster out of me, I became an addict living on your games like drug. Leaving left me in cold sweats and fits, the withdrawal made me weak, begging to come back, begging for the games, begging for you.

 

Sometimes I’d walk away, I’d cry, I’d yell, but it never really bothered you, You always knew I’d come running back. Because you owned parts of me ever since we played our very first game, you twisted my mind, made me think you were something you were not. You shaped me to want to play, and despite it killing me, I felt more alive with you, than not;

So I stayed and the game continued,

Resulting in the same outcome every time.

 

You made me the person I never wanted to be, broken, damaged and dull. You always left me wanting more, another shot, to give it one last go.

 

Whatever the case, it was all lies, twisted thoughts and poisonous actions. I never knew the real game you were playing was me, I was in denial that you were a cheater, a player and that I was the one who was being played.

 

I wish I saw straight through you, the second you rolled the dice,

 

You see,

 

You always aimed for 6, always wanted more

 

But for me, 1 was enough,

You were all I ever wanted.

 

 

Author's Note

Come's from a place of pain, any questions feel free to ask! not sure if the meaning is completely clear to others :) Please leave your thoughts and feedback, enjoy!

Reviews

[Lemonade]

"The first game we ever played was Monopoly and you showed me then and there how clever you truly were, always making the right investment at the right time. You bought property all over the board, till you consumed almost all of it. The same way you slowly bought all of me. Investing in me, slowly purchasing pieces I can never buy back."

Beautiful. Something I'd expect to find in a book like Lolita. This was really lovely to read. My only suggestion to you is that you'd want to use " 'til " or "until", as "till" in itself is a cash register, not a stand-in for "until".

[Scott Baker]

This was a unique (and wonderfully written) perspective into the mind of one in denial. I am very impressed with your writing style; it seems that each phrase has been carefully considered. I have not read your other works, but I cannot wait to do so.

[12.09am]

Thank you for reading ! Glad you could recognise the perspective of denial through my piece ! Thank you for the kind words and feedback, If you enjoyed this, I have written a similar styled piece called " The Call " if you had some time id love your opinion and thoughts on it :)

[Quinn W]

A sad story, but written beautifully. I've read some of your others and you never cease to amaze. You're a brilliant writer.

[12.09am]

Thank you so much, means a lot :)

[Quinn W]

I already reviewed this one but I'll do it again because you asked and are such a great writer. let me tell you, reading this twice you really get to sense even more of the emotion and catch all the beautiful phrases and I just loved how it all came together!