Dear Nathan

Dear Nathan

A Poem by Kianna L. Bearden
"

To the boy who took my virginity <3

"
Dear Nathan,
 
I hate you
 I absolutely despise
 How you tricked me and then ditched me
 After taking my virginity
 I am not some delicate flower
 But I suppose now I am wilted and rotten
After all, you told me I "taste bitter"
 So, my body is uglier than it already was
Because of you
 I hate myself a lot more 
Because of you
I lay awake at night with the burning resentment of that day
 Why did you push and prod?
 Until finally my 'no's' became a hesitant 'yes'?
 Why couldn't you just enjoy the one "date" we had?
 You walked me through the woods, over rocks and fallen trees
In my dress and pantyhose
 You took me to your dorm and considered that good enough
 To push into my pants
Why couldn't you just admit that was all you wanted?
 And I, woefully enough, accepted 
Too awkward to push you away and walk out with the remains of my dignity intact
I didn't even finish 
But you did 
I was too awkward to leave you hanging like you left me 
And when it was all done, you said you had hoped the date
Our first and only date
Our first time meeting face to face
Would end in sex
That in itself was a slap to my face
And my pride
And my confidence
Did I look easy?
Fuckable?
Discardable? 
All I wanted was to find someone who cared for me
Liked me enough to be with me
Loved me
You claim I pushed you away but your behaviour said it all for me 
Vague "let's hang"s and "wanna grab lunch?"
I didn't want sex
And so you dropped me
You didn't care 
And now you're dating my best friend
Only because she wouldn't leave it alone
She wanted me to "try" and be friends with you
She wants me to approve of this
It hurts so much to see you trying and changing for HER
You took her out to an actual place
You bought her things
You made her feel special and worth something
 What did I do to you to see this? 
What did I do wrong? 
Am I not good enough? 
Just damaged goods?
 Not funny, smart, or beautiful enough?


 I guess not.

 It really f*****g hurts. 
You took the one thing I had to give to someone special
If I could go back and do it again, I would elect to never EVER meet you
 And I will never forgive you. 

F**k you, 
Kianna

© 2017 Kianna L. Bearden


Author's Note

Kianna L. Bearden
If you can't tell, I'm bitter and angry. I hated myself enough beforehand, so this is just the icing on the cake!

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Featured Review

A lesson learned. Some guys are too immature and inept to handle a relationship so they get whatever they can. This happens everywhere. Pay attention to any red flags in the future. He's a loser who lost out on a good woman. He'll probably never learn.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

that's how poetry should be , straight forward , let your anger out
I love that type of poetry
I love yours

Posted 5 Years Ago


A lesson learned. Some guys are too immature and inept to handle a relationship so they get whatever they can. This happens everywhere. Pay attention to any red flags in the future. He's a loser who lost out on a good woman. He'll probably never learn.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 18, 2017
Last Updated on December 23, 2017

Author

Kianna L. Bearden
Kianna L. Bearden

Goldsboro, NC



About
I made the mistake of aging past about 16, honestly. more..

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