Dear Nathan

To the boy who took my virginity <3

Dear Nathan,

 

I hate you

 I absolutely despise

 How you tricked me and then ditched me

 After taking my virginity

 I am not some delicate flower

 But I suppose now I am wilted and rotten

After all, you told me I "taste bitter"

 So, my body is uglier than it already was

Because of you

 I hate myself a lot more 

Because of you

I lay awake at night with the burning resentment of that day

 Why did you push and prod?

 Until finally my 'no's' became a hesitant 'yes'?

 Why couldn't you just enjoy the one "date" we had?

 You walked me through the woods, over rocks and fallen trees

In my dress and pantyhose

 You took me to your dorm and considered that good enough

 To push into my pants

Why couldn't you just admit that was all you wanted?

 And I, woefully enough, accepted 

Too awkward to push you away and walk out with the remains of my dignity intact

I didn't even finish 

But you did 

I was too awkward to leave you hanging like you left me 

And when it was all done, you said you had hoped the date

Our first and only date

Our first time meeting face to face

Would end in sex

That in itself was a slap to my face

And my pride

And my confidence

Did I look easy?

Fuckable?

Discardable? 

All I wanted was to find someone who cared for me

Liked me enough to be with me

Loved me

You claim I pushed you away but your behaviour said it all for me 

Vague "let's hang"s and "wanna grab lunch?"

I didn't want sex

And so you dropped me

You didn't care 

And now you're dating my best friend

Only because she wouldn't leave it alone

She wanted me to "try" and be friends with you

She wants me to approve of this

It hurts so much to see you trying and changing for HER

You took her out to an actual place

You bought her things

You made her feel special and worth something

 What did I do to you to see this? 

What did I do wrong? 

Am I not good enough? 

Just damaged goods?

 Not funny, smart, or beautiful enough?

 I guess not.

 It really f*****g hurts. 

You took the one thing I had to give to someone special

If I could go back and do it again, I would elect to never EVER meet you

 And I will never forgive you. 

F**k you, 

Kianna

Author's Note

If you can't tell, I'm bitter and angry. I hated myself enough beforehand, so this is just the icing on the cake!

Reviews

[Relic]

A lesson learned. Some guys are too immature and inept to handle a relationship so they get whatever they can. This happens everywhere. Pay attention to any red flags in the future. He's a loser who lost out on a good woman. He'll probably never learn.

[Serendipity Planet]

that's how poetry should be , straight forward , let your anger out
I love that type of poetry
I love yours