Dear NathanA Poem by Kianna L. BeardenTo the boy who took my virginity <3Dear Nathan, I hate you I absolutely despise How you tricked me and then ditched me After taking my virginity I am not some delicate flower But I suppose now I am wilted and rotten After all, you told me I "taste bitter" So, my body is uglier than it already was Because of you I hate myself a lot more Because of you I lay awake at night with the burning resentment of that day Why did you push and prod? Until finally my 'no's' became a hesitant 'yes'? Why couldn't you just enjoy the one "date" we had? You walked me through the woods, over rocks and fallen trees In my dress and pantyhose You took me to your dorm and considered that good enough To push into my pants Why couldn't you just admit that was all you wanted? And I, woefully enough, accepted
Too awkward to push you away and walk out with the remains of my dignity intact I didn't even finish But you did I was too awkward to leave you hanging like you left me And when it was all done, you said you had hoped the date Our first and only date Our first time meeting face to face Would end in sex That in itself was a slap to my face And my pride And my confidence Did I look easy? Fuckable? Discardable? All I wanted was to find someone who cared for me Liked me enough to be with me Loved me You claim I pushed you away but your behaviour said it all for me Vague "let's hang"s and "wanna grab lunch?" I didn't want sex And so you dropped me You didn't care
And now you're dating my best friend Only because she wouldn't leave it alone She wanted me to "try" and be friends with you She wants me to approve of this It hurts so much to see you trying and changing for HER You took her out to an actual place You bought her things You made her feel special and worth something What did I do to you to see this? What did I do wrong? Am I not good enough? Just damaged goods? Not funny, smart, or beautiful enough? I guess not. It really f*****g hurts. You took the one thing I had to give to someone special If I could go back and do it again, I would elect to never EVER meet you And I will never forgive you. F**k you, Kianna
© 2017 Kianna L. BeardenAuthor's Note
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2 Reviews Added on December 18, 2017 Last Updated on December 23, 2017 AuthorKianna L. BeardenGoldsboro, NCAboutI made the mistake of aging past about 16, honestly. more..Writing
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