DonBLitH Chapter Two

A young woman stood there in one of the nasty stalls, the water running on her skin, clearing away the dirt and stains that lake water couldn’t clean out. She ran her hands through her long hair, allowing it to stick to her back once more before she turned off the rusty handle, the water no longer running on her skin leaving her cold and shaking.

Her feet turned on the broken tiles, slapping against the wet floor as she opened a ripped shower curtain and walked out of the tinny box. She walked down the long hall of empty walk in showers toward a room that held several small lockers. She grabbed the clothing she had placed on one of the benchs. She put on a long shirt and pants that she had stolen from a campsite that was unoccupied earlier this morning.

The long shirt went past her knees, most likely belonging to an older male and the shorts were small, either for a very thin framed young lady or a female child, either way they fit her pretty well and she was in a rush when she grabbed them, after all she couldn't allow any other campers to spot her with her blood stained clothing on.

She hated wearing other people’s cloths, almost as much as she hated changing in this condemed bathroom. She had no choice though. Either it was these cloths or to put back on the blood stained clothing she walked in with.

She picked up her small duffle bag and started toward the exist. She passed all the regular stalls, just a toliet and each, some old rusty sinks that still had bits of water dripping from the pipes.

Then out of no where she heard the sound of the front door creeking open, she paused, no one used these bathrooms, they are dirty, unclean and unmantnessed. There were cleaner restrooms only a few blocks from her, but the person must no of known that before entering.

Scared the girl ran back into one of the stalls and closed the door. She listened to the girl who entered. 

"... I would rather pee on a tree!" The girl muttered as she walked infront of the mirrors by the sink. She was right across from the young girl who watched her closely through the crack of the door.

The girl in the bathroom slowly unzipped the bag. She reached in and pulled out the knife that was in the buttom of the bag. Her fingers rubbed the engraved J on the buttom of the knife.

She peered out at the girl and slowly her eyes became softer, the girl slowly put the knife back in the bag and opened the door. After all there was no reason to hide from this girl, she wasn't a cop just a simple college girl.

The girl turned and stared at the small girl, as if trying to examine her for approve. Feeling like an eye sore the girl just looked down at her feet.

 

The overly make-upped girl was Kim who rolled her eyes as at the child, but went back to looking at herself in the mirror. The girl lifted her head to see that even though Kim was fixing her hair, she was still looking at the girl through the dirty reflection the mirror gave off.

She looked like a street rat with her baggy cloths. Her long hair seemed dead and lifeless. To the pretty, but s**t-dressed, Kim the girl seemed more then just homeless. Even though the young girl could not deny that she was homeless, she didn't want others to try to question her about why she was there.

"Should I just walk away... I should... but... what if she tells someone... should I make sure she cannot tell anyone that she saw me?" 

 

She was homeless, she was missing, she was… the very one who had killed so many people at this campsite. So many people that no one would ever suspect. Even giving Kim a look of sadness and a mix of hatred she didn't get the sensation to kill Kim. After all if she was going to kill anyone, why not have it be a snobby s**t who probably would never contribute much to the world.

 

Jenny turned away from the mirror in a quick almost show-offy turn. She started walking toward the exit. She girl watched Kim disappear, quickly opening the exit door and disappearing behind it. The girl stood there waiting her mind caught on what she should do.

 

Kim shook her head, ignoring the girl’s last jester toward her. “What a rat,” She muttered as she headed into the stalls and looked around. “This place cannot be sanitary..." She muttered as she looked at the building, waiting for Dan to come out of the men's.

Reviews

[tynamite]

cloths should be clothes and stool should be stood. the last should be capitalised.
It's good.

[The Water Queen]

"She stool there in one of the nasty stalls in the bathroom and shower room in the camp. Even she being homeless hated these rooms": Stool should be stood and then you might want to reword the second sentence to sound better. It could be worded like this: Even being homeless she hated these rooms. Just my suggestion.
Anyways this was a good second chapter and continues the story quite well. Great job!

[HorrorMaster]

Very amazing

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I could smell the stench of the clothes and the dingy restroom.
Its hard to believe that this could come out of you, from reading
your other works. It really gave me chills.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing chapter. The description of the bathroom to the detail of her life. I like her name, Jebnaya. A very strong chapter. A excellent story. Thank you.
Coyote

[Daydreamer54]

WEll, THE BATHROOM SOUNDS GROSS. GREAT JOB DESRIBING IT. hM, AT FIRST i THOUGHT Rachel was the one killing ppl, i guess not. u had a typo in t-shirt. u forgot the r. She stool there-she stood there.

[The Analog Kid]

Good job describing how filthy the place was. Send me the next chapter when done to follow this.

[David W Moore III]

Not having read anything leading up to this, i am intrigued. What brought this young girl to the place she now is? Very interesting, i will have to look for previous chapters...

[nono]

Interesting I like it really different and I kinda laughed when "What a rat" was sad it's wrong I shouldn't have laughed, but it was really funny nice job writing this!