Nation in Chaos

 

I find myself in a situation of Chaos

my mind mixed-up and cluttered

It's a reign of terror stuck with unruliness

so many riots and rebellions but no revolution

All there is is an uneasiness and unrest

so much disorder trapped with confusion

It's a free-for-all a holy mess

A trap that I find myself stuck

By the time the evil is done

there well be no triumph

no one will rejoice

the pride that had once been

will never be again

There will be no celebration

no victory that the world is no longer at war

There will be sadness

lost. All the symbolic statues

all the characteristics that the flags stood for

the significant of all the things we were

everything will be lost.

The flags stars and stripes well be turned

no one well look at the large green statue

no more comfort in what it used to stand for

freedom will never stand as it's message

There is no more amiable

no more friendliness in what once was a peaceful place

nothing well be easy nothing well be cozy

when your sleeping on the ground

praying for the simple things

home cooking, warmth

leave them all behind, because they well never come again

Here it is, the signal of death
The signs of Nazis, in sight of what was a great nation

the death or all, fire, prisons

torture, tell me please, this isn't my future

a place of gray

can no one else see are my eyes the only ones

I want them to notice

our nation is no longer great

Reviews

[EverEmma]

I am in love with this. Extremely powerful in all means. These are the things we should be worrying about, not if our hair looks fine. This is a major problem in our societies and should be addressed immediately. I feel so gravitated towards issues like this and will literally sit in bed at night and yell at the world. ( well, not out loud). I thank you for gracing us with the pleasure of your work.

[K. D. Kromminga]

Very dark and bleak, filled with an unfortunate despair. To have a revolution one must have an overwhelming goal in mind, for better or for worse, that resonates with the majority of the populace/world. Its seems you cut this a little short without telling your reader a way out of the "Chaos" or and "End" to the Nation, if there is one. Also there is no clear idea of the things that made our nation "Great" that we should be mourning, other then "Freedom." By itself "Freedom" can be viewed as "Chaos" without the weight of responsibility help mold it. A lot to think about here included in one piece of poetry. In that it provokes profound thoughts, your poem did a good job, its just I am left wondering to what end those thoughts are provoked.

[Ashley.M.E]

what provoked these thoughts, you ask? It was simply me trying to strengthen my vocab by looking up words similar to that of chaos, what came out of those words is what you see before. you.

[Ralphy]

Our younger generation seems to always notices times and tribulations. The sixties was a prefect example but yet somehow people failed to do anything about it. Now, they can because there is a great wave of commotion to take back the world from those that control it. People are the vision and are the spirits to act on, stay focused on so there is action to your words.

This Ashley is well written and well thought out. I see a hidden talent bursting to release...well done.

[r]

Wow, wow. I don't know what all to say, except for i LOVE it. It has amazing imagery, and it's sad and it's dark and.... Wow. It gets the message across and I love it.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I think this is powerful too. It was nicely written too.
In this line: no one well rejoice-no one will rejoice.
And the leave them all behind, because they will never come again. I loved this though. Thanks for sharing. :)

[James Bonner]

I believe in your poetry:)

[Randy`s Princess]

What a poniant poem given the days we now live in 7/11 9/11 all the soldiers in Iraq this is a great piece of writing I love it well done

[Faye]

Very vivid.

[Mauricio Montoya]

I like this piece its a sign of the times great write. well done.

[RDOriginal]

There's a lot of idealism in this poem and frustration in the way the world is at the moment. You've not concentrated on any American-centric view and by doing this I'm sure that there are a lot of people around the world who will agree with your opinion.

I really like the way in which you emphasise the pointless nature of war by playing down victory or defeat of the "terror". Instead it will simply be a new state in which, "the world is no longer at war". All you see for mankind is a bleak world where it appears that even the intangible things that were fought for will have no purpose, "freedon will never stand as its message". All of this really reinforces an impression of a post-war world that is perhaps not worth fighting for.

The very personal touch at the end where you almost plead with the reader is very effective, "tell me plese, this isn't my future". By asking the question you're encouraging us to look for ourselves for options or hope.

Overall I think this is an idealistic but genuine poem that has stimulated some interesting discussion and I can guess a fair bit of soul searching.

[Alex Luna]

Although there is some great passages (so many riots and rebellions but no revolution All there is is an uneasiness and unrest so much disorder trapped with confusion It's a free-for-all a holy mess in particular) it felt a bit trite. Still enjoyed it somwhat though.