What I believe

What I believe

A Chapter by Ashley.M.E

I believe in a place

Where we all must go

And the winds don’t blow

I believe in a place

Where sorrow has no name

And pain is a game

I believe in a place

Where everyone is happy

No one is alone

And everyone has somebody

No one will cry

Cause no one will die

And we will live forever in eternity

I believe

Yes I believe

That the place in the dreams

Is a reality

It has to be out there

A place where we are happy

It’s hard to believe

But I believe

What I believe

Is in peace

What I believe

Is in love

What I believe

Is what we all should believe

That one day, we well be

In the gardens of eve

Or heaven's gates above

@Ashley.M.E.



© 2010 Ashley.M.E


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Some criticism first... This line "Where we all most go" you probably mean "must" instead of "most". If it's most... it should be "Where most of us go". Then in the line "No will cry" you forgot a "one" after "No". Also, in the last line "Or heavens gates above" there should be an apostrophe in "heaven's". For the most part, your poem has good expression in what you believe in. It was lacking in flow and rhythm for me. Those who are religious will probably relate though.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

fantastic i loved it

Posted 14 Years Ago


Fantastic! A beautiful piece sharing a brilliant vision of hope and joy.

A++
Wolfie

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow this is wonderful girl! I think about this when I'm alone and deep in thought about life. That heaven is a place full of happyness! Very nice work girl! I LOVE the poem! you wrote this piece very well!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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Beautiful Ashley. I believe in the same thing. :-)

We long for it and the Bible says it will be...so how can it not be true?

Very good poem.

Posted 14 Years Ago


This has got to be the best poem in the whole entire world. :) I really enjoyed reading it. It was amazing. Yes, I believe, too. It's great to have other writers who are willing to share this and who aren't afraid to share this believe. It's a powerful thing. :) Great job!!!!!!

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on June 24, 2010
Last Updated on December 31, 2010


Author

Ashley.M.E
Ashley.M.E

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