CA: Before she was born part 1

The girl’s future was chosen before she was even born. It’s a messed up life and a messed up place to be put in when you are just an unborn infant with no choice in your fate. This is the part of the story in which no one dare doubts.

 

The child’s mother was a witch, yes a witch. The evil devil loving, magic, spell bending witch, was what she was born into. The cults of all woman, children her mother merely sixteen, but looked up older. It seemed magic took more then your strength, but your youth.

 

It was a simple time before machines and before any kind of powerful device, back to the time were witches were hung, drawn and killed for any reason. The cult was something of great power, they stayed together and no one could ever prove them. This was because they done all their work high in the mountains at night. All who have tried to see them were killed.

 

This night, was a special night. In the cold winter. This spell would keep all of the ugly witches back their beauty a lot with their immortality. At least this is what they believed.

 

They had to do this spell, just a week before the child was supposed to be born, the problem was by the way the child was carried they were sure it would be a boy.

 

The witches made a star on the ground, it burned through the snow like nothing. They could feel the death and suffer smell of hell coming through this spot, that was why they choice it. It was the closest portal to hell they have ever found. This meant all demons and spirits could come through it. A perfect place for a spell to raise up Satan.

 

There were Nine people. One on each of the points of the star, which they had made within the circle. The circle they made had melted all the snow within it. So they easily could create the white complicated star on the burned earth under them.

 

The ones on the points raised there hands forward, their faces covered in masks and their hands were the only thing shown and bare. Within the middle of the star they had placed a raised stone slab were the pregnant woman laid, another woman, the leader of their cult was in there for take charge of the ritual.

 

They began, the smell of strong herbs, suffer, snow and death covered the area, but the witches were to far into their spell to see or care. All they needed to smell were the herbs, put their to protect them from Satan himself, it wasn’t an easy task, but any chance to king of hell got to leave, he would jump on it, so it didn’t take long for the affects of the spell to break through.

 

As the snow fell and wind picked up everything within the circle seemed to fly around within it. The wind, snow and even ash and dirt seemed to become one in the start of what would seem a tornado.

 

The woman within the middle of the circle, lying down seemed very nerves. Her long hair was whipping around her, hitting her face. Still she didn’t seem to be in fear, why would she. She trusted her felling witches. Not just that, but it was a great honor to have your child chosen to be the new vessel for the devil. Still the devil would literally take the woman’s child’s soul and make it his own. He could come up controlling everything about him/her and would slowly eat away at the soul that god wanted to be that child until it was no more, and the devil’s pure evil soul was all that remained.

 

Being the mother of something pure evil was no where close as being a mother of Jesus. She wouldn’t be Marry and she didn’t have the choice to say no. She had gotten pregnant at the right time, her baby never showed any signs of problems as most and that met her baby was a calm, healthy soul and body. Exactly what the cult needed.

 

The full noon was now right over them, although the moon didn’t have to be full, it did help with all that was going on. The worst thing that had happened through the ritual was the fact that the cold quick wind, kept blowing out their candles. The home made candles were one of the few things that didn’t just make the ritual go smooth, but it kept them save.

 

The words that were spoken to have the devil brought to earth, was never spoken again. The ritual went, and the devil, as far as everyone knew was alive.

 

The community forced the witches to explain what happened before they were burned, all seven of them said the same. “A woman with dark brown, long wavy hair, cried aloud, it was her child, and her baby and she had no clue where she was.

 

So all the world knew was the devil was inside of a young child’s body, and she was a girl. The fire was set and the witches burned, though they all chanted something that was no one was every able to translate.

 

“Haeb waibla caobma, ew kaibla ud abla”

Author's Note

This isn't going to be a big novel or anything, so the chapters are going to be a lot shorter then my other books...

Reviews

[K. D. Kromminga]

You have a lot of description and narrative, a little action and almost no dialogue in this chapter, so it reads more like an article or opinion piece than an actual story. You could fix this by adding some internal dialogue with the viewpoint character in the chapter to get us closer as readers to your story.

Even if you are going for fantasy instead of realism the content is clichéd and stereotyping, associating witches with "pure" evil. If you are going for realism, whatever the actual "source" of their power, Witches did not believe(and some would say still do not believe) that they worshipped the Devil or anything associated with the Devil. An offshoot of Celtic Druidism, Witchcraft was a folk practice of worshipping the Pagan Gods. In fact before the Inquisitors stole the image of the God Faunus(Roman)/Pan(Greek) the "Devil" was never pictured as being a half-man/half-goat. Even the word "Demons" is a loaded word, as in old Greek that it originated from was a word used to signify the uncontrollable forces of nature(which is why is was so easy to associate it to Witchcraft because it was believed Witches controlled nature through supernatural means).

The entire mythology of associating "Witchcraft" with Devil Worship, was created by Medieval Men, primarily as a tool to keep woman in their place(persecuting Mid-wives and Wise Women to get them out of Medicine). This is one of the reasons why in some parts of the world the word Witch and Doctor are associated with each other(Witch Doctor) to signify the practice of primitive medicine. We are just now relearning in modern medicine that one of the primary forms of delivery of medicine in Shamanism/Witchcraft, inhalation(which is why primitive "magic" burned herbs on a regular basis), is actually more effective in some instances then ingestion(though less effective than injection).

Nine pointed stars are used in the Baha'i Faith, Hermetic magic, Kaballah, and Christian Mysticism. It symbolizes the fruits of the spirit associated with the nine mystical realms of the Sephiroth(or the nine step up the ladder of heaven to "Atum"). It is doubtful that a group of evil magic user/Sorcerers, would use it in a rite to summon a "Demon" as it signifies harmony with the mystical universe.

Please understand that the entire point of this exercise was not to cast aspersions on your "belief" system. It was to encourage you to do more research on whatever setting or characters that you are including in your story. Its called adding authenticating details.

[Nothing Personal]

Interesting start . Will comment once i read the entire series.

[r]

Awesome! I love reading dark things like this, especially witches. This is going to be awesome, I can tell. And I wonder what the words mean...

[YoungWolf]

This chapter could've used a little bit of proofreading - there are quite a few spelling and gramatical errors and there were some parts that made me wonder whether this was written in past or present tense. Definitely could use another look over before submission.

With that said, the talk of witches and devils peaked my interest. Though it is quite short, it gets straight to the point and sounds pretty good.

[James Bonner]

I am interested in the idea. This has a lot to say for it. :)

[Mauricio Montoya]

So far so good. Nice work keep om writing.

[RDOriginal]

Having read some of the chapters from your other books this seems more focused. Maybe keeping each chapter short lets you get much more power into the story.

You've got a great idea going here. At first I thought it was going to be another clone of the whole Twilight malarky but you've got something a little different going on and I'd press on with it. Be a leader, not a follower!

[Crowley]

Great start...I like the feel and the darkness, the images conjured when thinking of witches aand Pure evil. A couple of spots, Jesus should be caps, Mary is with one r, oddly nerves - oddly nervous. I liked this and can't wait to read on girly Q. Nice job.