Body within

Without my eyes

I can not see

Without my lips

I can not speak

Without my ears

I can not hear

Without my hands

I can not feel

 

Without any senses

Just a voice in the wind

No different than the others

The difference comes from with in

 

I see who you are

You see who I am

Without the face

The skin

The eyes

The voice

The looks

 

Now you know me

And I know you

For all you are

In your mind

The soul within

Without a disguise

You are open

As am I

For I can see you

Without my eyes

@all rights reserved by Ashley.M.E.

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

This has got to be the most profound and beautiful piece of poetry i've ever read. It tells of the strongest bond that people can share...that of simply knowing... like an invisible thread of connection that says more than any mere sense can share.
I loved the way this piece smoothly brings us to a common cosmic truth.

Fantastic Ashley!
Hugs!
Wolfie

[Brown Bull]

Yes, I know what you mean, My Farmer and I talk all the time, even when he's not here for me to see, I know what He is thinking. Interesting how your first line says that you cannot see without your eyes and the last one says that you can. Not a bad poem Ashley.

[chaotic katie]

selene is right i also loved how you tied the five senses into this peice great work

[Lucy Joan]

I love how you used the five senses for to express the narrator's identity, and how you explained that a person should be seen for who he/she is inside. Awesome poem.

[Poisoned Melody]

I love it! All 5 senses very nice(:

[Shade Teller]

I really like this poem, and I like the redundancy at the beginning. I guess you could say it starts a beat that sets up the rest of the poem. Good job.

[Abigail Foster DeVuyst]

I really like what your saying here, but it is a bit redundant in the beginning. It would be a pity if someone stopped reading because of that and then missed out on the rest of this awesome poem. What would happen if you took the first 8 lines out?

I think it might be even more powerful that way...

[Bridget Mcmaken]

I really like this peom, nicely put together

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought this was good. I liked this a lot. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Griffin Hill]

OPENING COMMENTS
I like this a lot.

STRUCTURE
simple words, to the the point, easy read.

THEME(s)
I love the sensate themes very well expressed. I especially like “For I an see you / Without my eyes”

MOOD(s)
Very compelling mood. When I read it, I was eager for the next line.

IMAGERY
The sensory imagery is wondeful.

RHYME / METER
The sentence length creates a nice rhythm and each line answering the one before. I like that.

DICTION
Simple words, for simple feelings.

VOICE
Flows really well. Pleasant read.

CLOSING COMMENTS
Adding this one to my favorites.

[J.Black]

Awesome! Love the imagery. Keep it up.