Bleeding Rose

Bleeding Rose

A Chapter by Ashley.M.E
"

for a dying soul

"

Her hands reached up, shockingly, blindly, her vision growing blurry, but she wanted to reach out for it, the light. Gently, gracefully her fingers touched the smoothness of the petals, the rose bush near her, the light shined over it. She moved her frail fingers over the thin dark green stem and went to pick it. The flower that appeared before her eyes, the light disappeared, a good thing, bad thing, why be left in the darkness… As she pulled on the petals trying to pull the rose down to her, it was glue, stuck not enough strength to even pull on the stem, the thin stem. Finally, it broke, but it was too late, her hand slid off the stem up to petals and pulling them all off the flower. She laid there the petals falling gracefully like snow around her. Slowly, slowly her eyes mixed the dark color of the petals into drops of red rain. Her head turned to the side as her hand fell. All that was left was a petal in her hand in a puddle of blood.



© 2011 Ashley.M.E


Author's Note

Ashley.M.E
comments please =)

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Featured Review

Nice piece, but watch the -ly verbs. I tend to use them a lot, too, but I'm trying to rid myself of them. They actually weaken writing. Try to find way to reword the sentences where the adverbs are not needed. Other than that, this is a great, descriptive write.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Sad and very descriptive, a final reach for what we love and a partially failed attempt, except for that one thing...and maybe thats enough. I liked it.

Posted 14 Years Ago


WOW I love this poem. as I was reading it I could see it like I was there. very nice work.

Posted 14 Years Ago


YOU ARE A GREAT WRITER ASHLEY! Excellent imagery!

Posted 14 Years Ago


good job with your imagery and overall concept. you did a good job of making your message clear and i could really picture this. i agree with devon on the structure though. it's not really set up like a poem, and i don't quite get why some writers do that

Posted 14 Years Ago


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woow the gore is amazing, is this talking about suicide?

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is a really nicely envisaged scene, employing the symbol of the rose to compliment and emphasise tenderly the plight of this woman's last moments. Like a metaphor for her existence. It's rather like a tragic final scene in a movie. Nicely done.
The only thing that bothers me is...why is this categorized as a poem..? Is it not prose/flash fiction (as they call it)... If it is a poem then should it not appear in poetic form, not in a complete paragraph... I've seen quite a few people do the same thing (it's not just you),and I can't quite figure out the justification..

Posted 14 Years Ago


So by violating the rose brought on her death. You leave me wondering but I like how this piece comes together
Excellent write.


Posted 14 Years Ago


well done ^_^

Posted 14 Years Ago


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r
I can clearly see it in my head, and it's awesome. I love the ending, and it's a beautiful poem.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I keep wondering about the light. It's mysterious write, filled with blood and beautiful rose petals. Loved it!

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on June 8, 2010
Last Updated on March 1, 2011


Author

Ashley.M.E
Ashley.M.E

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