Bleeding Rose

for a dying soul

Her hands reached up, shockingly, blindly, her vision growing blurry, but she wanted to reach out for it, the light. Gently, gracefully her fingers touched the smoothness of the petals, the rose bush near her, the light shined over it. She moved her frail fingers over the thin dark green stem and went to pick it. The flower that appeared before her eyes, the light disappeared, a good thing, bad thing, why be left in the darkness… As she pulled on the petals trying to pull the rose down to her, it was glue, stuck not enough strength to even pull on the stem, the thin stem. Finally, it broke, but it was too late, her hand slid off the stem up to petals and pulling them all off the flower. She laid there the petals falling gracefully like snow around her. Slowly, slowly her eyes mixed the dark color of the petals into drops of red rain. Her head turned to the side as her hand fell. All that was left was a petal in her hand in a puddle of blood.

Author's Note

comments please =)

Reviews

[Dutch Jr.]

Nice piece, but watch the -ly verbs. I tend to use them a lot, too, but I'm trying to rid myself of them. They actually weaken writing. Try to find way to reword the sentences where the adverbs are not needed. Other than that, this is a great, descriptive write.

[Gavin]

thoruoghly enjoyed the piece Ash. Very poetic of that makes any sense at all?

[SamBug]

This was very good.

[Emmanuel Rosado]

great just great u know and like Dutch Jr. say watch for error but no one is perfect
i got error like everything anyway but perfect

[chaotic katie]

LOVE IT IT IS SOOOO KOOL

[Michael X]

Skilled and talented prose in form. so i'm just wondering why you would
waste your time on such a cliche subject, yes awsome way with words-
that have been said in this idea, a million times. so boring. that to be honest
I found very difficult to read to the point i had to stop before i could finish.
but i'm sure many people enjoy reading it...keep it up

[Mistaken]

wow this is amazing.. I love it! =)

[♥(heatherawesome..]

this is an awesom poem and i love it and this is so an awesome write and you are a awesoem writer

[Hi]

Short, but descriptive and wonderful to read. Your poems are all very well constructed

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

I like it! the first few reviews i read have all said good imagery and i have to say they are right! you have written this like a story rather than a poem but the flow is not inturupted but it can be hard to find. I think as a story this would be interesting. have you thought of writing it as the main focus of a story, writing about what led to this? anyway nicely done!