No one likes to eat alone

when the one you love forget you exist... you forget your own needs to try to get them to remember them

She brought him his dinner, just as if she had his lunch and his breakfast all that week. He sat in that room, glued go his job, the computer. She stood there for a while, watching him as his eyes ran through the screen. She didn’t get a thank you, nothing at all. Without her, he would stare; he’s too far gone into his work to know.

 

She would leave the room, just to come back again. How many days has it been, had he slept at all? He wouldn’t even see him get up to use the bathroom, since that very room had one attached to it. She only could see his eyes glide across the screen his fingers tap the keys. He didn’t look at her. He didn’t notice her, just the food she would bring.

 

Everyday who eyes would worsen, everyday she would feel so alone, how many weeks has it been. Has it been enough to make a month yet? How much more work could he have to do. How much more loneliness would she have to go through.

 

Finally, the day came; he didn’t receive lunch, so he waited to dinner. It never came. Finally, he pushed back the sliding chair, opened the door, and walked around the house. He called her name, repeatedly, but there was no response.

 

Finally, he found her. In the kitchen, face down. She was breathing heavy, her eyes closed. Quickly he called for an ambulance as he wandered what had caused this. He would have never thought it was him.

 

She hadn’t eaten much since he been stuck in his room. In the last two or so weeks she hadn’t ate a thing, her body finally giving out, She was weak from starvation, because she didn’t want to eat alone. However, she didn’t want to tell him.

 

Her eyes opened slowly, blurry she could see him sitting there, worried. She was so thin, so very thin. He couldn’t believe he had missed it. She didn’t know how long she had lied there on the floor unconscious, all because he couldn’t come out of the room to eat with her.

 

There was no reason to ask why. The answer was clear. No one likes to eat alone.

Author's Note

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Reviews

[Unwelcomeguest]

Emotional and succinct. I personally like to eat alone but even I can feel what you are trying to put across. Unfortunately there are quiet a few grammatical errors that could be dealt with reasonably quickly. On that note the section where he finds her face down, paragraphs four and five follow the same medative flow as the rest of the tale but should, in my opinion, contain more haste and focus more on the action than the internal thoughts. Maybe say how he fumbled for the phone in his panic, slip the thoughts in when he has to explain to the operator what has happened. This is because I believe you have let the tensest moment in the scene be just breezed over in a few lines.
This really is a good story and I feel evil doing this and continuing but you use the line "she didn't want to eat alone," to early. It should be saved until right at the end to get the most impact so a re-wording of this part would probably do no harm.
As I read my review through I realise I have made some rather gross assumptions about the message of this short peice but I shall submit it anyway just in case I was right.

[Rose Tyler]

This sends out a strong message, crystal clear. No one likes to eat alone, especially if you are missing out on life from all the work you do, and leaving a loved one alone. If you're so occupied with one thing, you don't notice anything around you in the world beyond those papers or that computer screen.
Very good, well written.

[Roslyn Rosalie]

Yeah no one does like to eat alone.

[RDOriginal]

It's so true that no one likes to eat alone. I can't stand it personally and will actually starve rather than go through that horrible mechanical process that solitary eating involves so I can really identify with the woman in this story. There's so much horrible irony too in the fact that she's been preparing the food and then actively avoiding it - horribly tragic. It's kind of reassuring to think that other people actually feel like this (but don't end up like your character!)

[.]

This tells a strong tale and message about our need for human connection with others. What I like about this, is that I could see a scenerio like this taking place. You did a great job with your description and flow of the story. Being as short as it is, the only thing I might suggest is to give us some hint as to who the male is in relation to the woman. Is it a husband, a boyfriend, a father, a lover?

Nice weave of words!
*Hugs!* - Tara

[chaotic katie]

great story it had lots of emotion and it was sad what happened to the girl at the end i loved this it was a great peice and i look forward to reading more of your writing