Diary of a Thinking Man

This is my most recent story. I got some good feedback from my English teachers and friends about it. I don't normally write like this.

I ain’t never been no thinkin’ man, but I seem to be doin’ a lot of it lately.

    Y’see, I have my darlin’ wife, Caroline, an’ she means ta worl’ to me.  An’ y’see, the pas’ few yers we been a prayin’ to God to give us a chil’, an’ in thos few short yers, God’s a givin’ us no chillun, cus tey gone an died jus’ a few weeks after Caroline ‘gun carryen’ ‘em.  Doc Olsen called ‘em ‘miscarriages.’
    Then, one day, a mir’cle happent.  Y’see, Caroline ‘gun to bear chil’ ‘gain.  Doc Olsen sait dis one oughta be good an’ healthy an’ sech.  So d’ese pas’ few months me and Caroline been a talkin’ ‘bout what we gonna name our firs’ chil’.  Caroline always lik’d da name Harriet if’n it were a girl, and I s’pose I dit too.  But, if’n it were a boy, I’d reckon’d I want to name ‘im Samuel, like in ta Bible.  I’d always had a sof’ spot fer dat name.
    Well, y’see, ta big day came when Caroline oughta been givin’ birth.  I was so ‘cited I coult barely stant it.  I was a prayin’ to God it woult all go well, and we’d hav ourselves a healthy babe to raise an’ call our own an’ sech.
    I watcht while Caroline gave birth.  It t’were hard.  I coul’t stan’ listenin’ to her cry out like that, but I coul’t turn away neither. I watcht as my chil’ were born.  It t’were a boy, that much I coult tell.  From thar I callt ‘im Samuel, an' as I watcht, I thought abou’ all da things I was gonna teach ‘im.  Gonna teach ‘im ‘ow to cetch a ball an’ ‘ow to chop woot an’ raise a hog an’ be a man an’ sech.  An’ as I watcht, I reckon’d da boy didn’ move much.  I reckon he didn’ move t’all.
    Well, y’see, it turns out Samuel were dead ‘fore he even came out.  Doc Olsen callt him stillborn.  Sometimes, I wonder if’n Doc Olsen jes makes up worts to make ‘imself soun’ smart.
    Well, nex’ day I buried Samuel in a shoebox out in ta yard.  An’ as I stoot there o’er his ‘ittle grave, I ‘gun wonder somethin’.  Why’t  God go an’ do somethin’ like give Caroline chil’ an’ then up an’ take ‘im away ‘fore he even came out?  Caroline were a good person, she’t never swore, nor liet, nor ever beent mean nor rude nor nasty to no one.  He really han’t no reason ta do sech a thing.  If ‘nyone deservt chil’ t’were Caroline.  
    Then, I’d ‘gun to reckon, maybe ter t’weren’t no God to decide sech things.  Maybe t’were somethin’ else, or t’weren’t nothin’ at all.  I reckoned I didn’ rightly know why sech things happened or who’n let ‘em.  I reckoned no one rightly knew.
    But I’s jus’ a thinkin’.  An’ I ain’t never been no thinkin’ man.

Author's Note

Obviously, seeing as this is a dialect story, don't be to harsh about the grammer(but if the dialect is a little thick please tell me!) Other than that I'm open to any and all criticisms. Also, tell me if I should try to publish this, I was thinking about trying to...

Reviews

[Muriel]

A moving story about the feelings surrounding the death of those newborns. Yes, it would be good to get published, I feel. I like the way you described the feelings of the husband about the whole matter and how he felt it so unfair and wondering about God even existing with such tragedy in his and Caroline's life. I like it that you mentioned what a good person Caroline was, too. Yes there is no explaining such loss, but you did a good writing about the feelings about it from the man's perspective!

[Mark Wollacott]

It;'s one of those stories i'd love to listen to on the radio. I can imagine exactly how it would sound. However, it is a bit more of an accent piece than a dialect piece. Sure there are dialectalisms (not sure if that's a real word) but, most of it is accent. You're writing it how it sounds whereas a dialect is about the vocabulary specific to the region. I don't have a problem with this kind of dialect piece, it's understandable, rich and warm. As i said, i'd love to hear this in a podcast of some kind. I don't know if it is publishable because a lot of publishers don't like pieces written in accent; in dialect is fine to a certain degree but accents are trickier. Anyhow, enjoyed it and good luck.

[Linear]

Love the dialect, sad story well told, and quite easy to read, interest was kept alive which is always a good thing, as for publication, thats no easy road to travel, but keep up with your writing it's good. just one thing it's spelt Grammar