Love is Hoping

By Me

Love is the reason you wake up at night, screaming, out of breath, wishing for death, but still alive enough to wish him a happy life-a life happier than yours. Love is the thing that holds you back from ending yourself, because it presents the hope that there's still a chance he might come back. Love is needing him to come back, and knowing you'd still love him, regardless of how many times he broke you, destroyed you and didn't give a damn. Love is a weakness, one that almost kills you with the pain of heartache, leaves you in a state of torture every single day. Yet, the pain never finishes you. Love is feeling homesick for the person that was your home, the person that ruined you. It's knowing they were every type of bad for you but believing they're the only one that can fix you. Love is hating yourself and editing every single detail because you think there's something wrong with you. Love is slowly murdering yourself, trying to fix the mistakes about you so he might love you again. Love is lying on the floor in a pool of your own blood, tear stained face, and the only thing left to hold is a bottle. Love is screaming his name with every ounce of life left in your body. Love is knowing he's your sun, your moon, and everything good in life. Love ruins you, shatters your will to live , leaves you with this immeasurable amount of pain every damn day, but keeps you alive enough to hope that some f*****g day that he'll come back and fix all the hurt and fix you.