Chapter 17: Awakening

Memories poured through Nia’s head one by one. None were new, they were just the same ones repeated over and over again. However, she could never manage to get back to the man who’d comforted her. That memory was gone. She couldn’t complain too much though, the burning memory was also gone. So was the one with the man on the roof. But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

All of this pain, and for what? She hadn’t learned anything of significance. She still didn’t know who she was. She didn’t know what she was. At least now she understood why everything hurt. Pain was just a fact of life. It always had been.

But she had to keep that hidden. She had to keep herself away from Mandie’s eyes. She couldn’t tell why, she just knew. Mandie was bad news for her. At least it didn’t seem like she had figured anything out that Nia hadn’t. That was good. The only thing keeping Nia safe right now was Mandie’s ignorance, but who knew how much longer that would last. Mandie had connections, she had the whole of the Society. Nia had nothing, no one but herself.

All Nia could do now was pull back on her powers and hope she figures everything out first. But that was seeming more unlikely with each passing memory. She had shown off. Not on purpose, but Mandie had still seen her do things. Nia had taken out multiple poltergeists, she’d healed Alice, she’d cast a Ren barrier. That wasn’t normal. It wasn’t normal for an exorcists much less an ‘average’ summoning spirit. That’s what she was supposed to be after all. That’s what would keep her safe.

Nia had to keep that in mind. Stay normal, stay safe. The less ripples she made now the less likely she was to be found. Thankfully that had been one thing she’d remembered. They would be looking for her. No. He would be looking for her. He’d spent so much time and energy on her, twisting her into the monster he wanted. There was no way he’d let her go.

If Silas found her again, she didn’t know what she would do. She’d fight to her death to get away, anything to not go back there again. She’d been so close to escaping back then. Literally, she’d been seconds away from freedom. But she’d died instead. It wasn’t fair. She didn’t care if ‘life wasn’t fair’ as Cana had said, she still believed she deserved better.

Oh well. It wasn’t like it mattered anymore. The best she could do now was stay away from her past, it would be dangerous to seek out people she knew. People like Luca. She’d gotten lucky with that one, he’d only seen her once before and they’d barely talked. Although he’d probably tipped off Mandie, and if he hadn’t Phyllis definitely would’ve. But anyone else, she wouldn’t recognize them and who knew how much they would know about her.

Damn. She had to be more careful. This was going to be an incredibly dangerous game, especially with a First hanging around her. There were still so many memories missing, so many blocked from her view. Why couldn’t she just remember everything! It was so aggravating. She didn’t even care about the pain anymore, she just wanted to push past the repetition and find more on her past. Was that really too much to ask for?

She needed to calm down, but, what could be worse than what she’d already gone through? Nothing could be worse than the Bastion, and all those memories seemed to be there. As far as she could tell anyway. Or, maybe just the ones with Silas were back? That was most of them though.

Odd.

Rumbling sounded in the distance, breaking Nia’s concentration. She appeared in the middle of a memory she’d gone through many times already. The one with the shadow man attacking her. There was no point in dodging, it ended the same no matter how many times she avoided his attacks. Besides, it didn’t hurt anymore.

The vision faded, and once again she found herself surrounded by complete darkness. The rumbling was coming from somewhere out there. She tried to look farther, but she couldn’t see anything. She couldn’t sense anything either. Her only option was to wait for whatever it was to either show up or disappear.

She didn’t feel good about this. She actually felt nervous. It wasn’t a feeling she was used to, and she could say with complete certainty that she didn’t like it. Whatever was out there, it scared her. Nia settled into a fighting stance. This wasn’t a memory, this was actually happening. She summoned her magic, but it didn’t come to her.

Alright then. She’d do this without magic if that’s how it was going to be. Something sparked to life in the distance, fire rippled out in all directions. She had a feeling she knew what was coming, but nothing could’ve prepared her for the flames that descended upon her from all directions.

One minute she was surrounded by nothing by darkness, the next flames licked at her skin from all directions. She kept away from the fires as much as she could. She’d always hated fire. It had been her specialty sure, but she’d never felt like she was in control.

Someone appeared just beyond the barrier of flames and stood there, looking at Nia. All Nia could make out where the person's eyes. Bright red. Piercing, controlling, dominating. It may have been her own conscience, but this person was in control here.

The figure shifted, the flames closed in around Nia. The heat radiating off the flames was almost nonexistent, but the power was a different story. The amount of energy built up throughout the fires was stifling. Nia couldn’t breath, she couldn’t think. All she could do was stare at the figure, and all the figure did was stare back. Until suddenly-

She was back. Well, not back in Alice’s apartment, but back to the real world, back in her body. Her eyes burned, her arms and legs were stiff. How long had she been out? She sat up and forced her eyes to focus on the hazy surroundings.

The first thing to solidify in her vision were the glowing orbs of long lost spirits, they were always the first to come back. Next was the room she was in, all stone, completely hand carved, elaborate designs stretching from wall to wall. Finally the blankets and drapes registered, each stitch, each pattern, the intricacy of the weaves. It was all beautiful, a picture out of a perfect fairy tale.

Nia had missed this. She’d always been able to see these spirits, but she hadn’t realized how limited her vision had been with Alice until now. She reached out to touch one, but stopped when she saw her hand and arm was covered in bandages.

It’s not that this was an unfamiliar sight, she’d often worn bandages when she was alive, of course all she had to go off of were her memories from back at the Bastion. But still, that was then, and this was now. It only took her a moment longer to realize she was wearing a loose fitting cloth tunic and trousers. Had Mandie changed her clothes? That was the only explanation, but if she had, how much had she seen?

Nia moved to trace along her spine to where she thought her tattoos were, but felt a burning pain shoot through her back instead. She keeled over, biting her tongue as to not make a sound. She’d thought those seals had just been part of her memories. No wonder they had hurt more than anything else, something had actually burned them into her back.

“You’re up?”

Nia’s head shot up, she hadn’t heard anyone enter. She hadn’t felt anyone enter either, but she figured that was just because her powers were still scrambled. Her eyes locked with Mandie’s bright green irises, and she got the feeling Mandie was looking into her soul. Judging her.

“Yeah, just now.” Nia panicked, all of her thoughts came rushing back into her head. How much did Mandie know? Had she seen Nia’s tattoos? What about the scars? The burns? Oh god. If Mandie had seen anything Nia was fairly certain she was screwed, there wasn’t a first class exorcist around who wouldn’t recognize those markings. Or, at least there shouldn’t be a First around who didn’t recognize them. Maybe she would get lucky! Doubtful. But maybe.

Mandie looked at her watch, “That’s a lot sooner than I expected. How do you feel?”

“Like I tried to fight a train moving at full speed and lost.” Her head was still fuzzy, her body was throbbing, her magic was strained. She could feel worse, she had felt worse. Her memories had proved that more than enough. But that didn’t make this any better.

The exorcist smiled, “I’m not surprised. About seven hours ago your body decided it liked to conduct electricity. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a fun time for either of us.” She held up her right arm, revealing that it had been wrapped in bandages as well. “And after what Cana did, well...How’s your head?”

“Staticy and scrambled. It feels like someone pulled out all the parts of me that were human, twirled them around a bit, then stuffed them back in.” Hopefully that would stop her from asking any more questions along that line.

“And your memories?” Mandie’s eyes were filled with suspicion.

Well, that hadn’t worked. Nia shook her head. “There’s a bit more here and there, but nothing more than I already knew. It’s all so jumbled. I can’t make sense of it.”

“Are you sure?”

That wasn’t good. It’s not that Nia was necessarily lying, it’s just that the memories she had gotten back were all jumbled. She didn’t know what was real and what was created by Cana for the deity’s sheer enjoyment. Everything Nia did know seemed out of order and wrong. It was difficult to put any of them together, not that Nia wasn’t trying. She just needed more time to make sense of everything.

Nia nodded, “I just need some time to think it all through. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that Cana said something to me the other day.” Mandie paused, like she was trying to decide if she should be sharing this information. “It doesn’t matter. Cana is a trickster, she’ll say anything to get what she wants.”

Get what she wants? What did Cana want? Nia couldn’t think of anything she had that Cana would have any desire for, except for herself maybe. But if Mandie had been able to talk Cana into giving up Nia in return for something else, well, that eliminated that. “What did Cana ask you for?”

“She said she was looking for some guy in you memories,” Mandie fixed Nia with a knowing gaze. “Said she was gonna kill him?”

That certainly sounded like something Cana would say. She threatened to kill a lot of people, never did anything, not that Nia could remember at least. But that probably had more to do with the fact that she couldn’t leave the forest and most people were not in her forest. It caused quite a conundrum for her. “Who’s she looking for? Maybe a description could help jog my memories.”

Not the most seamless lie, or bluff, or whatever you wanted to call it, but it worked.

“Dark shaggy hair and impossibly light eyes, or, at least that’s how she described him. Ring any bells?”

It did. Of course it did. How could it not. Only one man fit that description: Silas. That b*****d. Nia wanted to kill him too. She couldn’t think of a single person who wouldn’t. But, she couldn’t tell Mandie. Saying anything about him, that’d give everything away.

“Hmmmm,” She pretended to think it over, give it some thought. She’d spent years learning to control her emotions, but this was the first time it had helped her. This was more like the first time she had actually found a use for that control. “You sure she didn’t say bright eyes?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, if she had it’d be a pretty close description for some guy I know.” Guy was a vague term here, she was thinking more of the figure with the sword, the one with the golden eyes. She didn’t know who he was, she didn’t know why he’d done that. She could only assume he’d cast those seals on her at some point in her life, and that his immeasurable power had reactivated them now. Still, Nia knew better to tell any of that to Mandie.

“What guy?”

“No clue, had a ‘K’ sound in his name though. At least maybe? I’m not sure why I said that if I’m being honest.”

“Wow, that’s so helpful.”

“I know right. But really, what were you expecting? It’s not like I know many things,” Nia teased.

“From what Alice has told me you know quite a few things.” She smiled like she had caught Nia in some sort of trap, though, for the life of her, Nia could not figure out what trap Mandie thought she’d caught her in. What, is knowing things a crime now?

Nia hesitated, “Like what?”

“Oh, just normal things,” Mandie moved to sit down next to Nia. “You know, like how to perform summoning rituals, use telepathy, identify spirits, speak in inhuman tongues, and let’s not forget about your innate knowledge of the inner workings of the Society.” She smiled.

She had a point. A very good point. Nia was at a loss for words. She shouldn’t’ve shown off. “Alright then,” she conceited “I guess I might maybe know a few things.”

“Good, now that you’ve agreed that you know things, and we’re alone for the first time, why don’t we chat a little?” Mandie’s voice was stern and her eyebrows were lowered, this wasn’t going to be a conversation Nia would enjoy.

“I don’t feel like talking right now.” She didn’t, especially not about whatever Mandie had her mind set on.

Mandie moved in a flash, even faster than Nia could follow. Before she knew what had happened the exorcist had what Nia could only assume was a small blade pressed up against her neck. She tried to use her magic to move Mandie away, or at least put up a small shield between herself and bone chilling metal, but nothing happened.

There was no feeling of energy rushing over her skin or through her soul, no warm feeling in her core that she got whenever she pulled on her reserves, not even a flash of magic in her eyes. Nothing. Nia frowned, for the second time since that dream her powers had been unresponsive. That wasn’t good, in fact she would even go as far as to say that it was very bad.

If she couldn’t control her powers, there was no telling what could happen.

Mandie shifted her weight, and Nia once again focused on the knife that was a slight movement away from nicking her throat. “Do you feel like talking now?”

Did she have a choice was the better question. Nia nodded begrudgingly, she didn’t want to tell anyone anything, there wasn’t anything she could tell, but she didn’t want to die either. She’d already done that once and honestly wasn’t a huge fan.

“Good,” Mandie purred, reminding Nia of why she really hated exorcists. They were all just so cocky, they get a spirit to do one thing and they go around acting all high and mighty for the rest of the day. “Here’s how this is gonna go. I’m going to ask you questions, and you’re going to give me straight responses. No sarcasm, no jokes, no lies. Just answers. Got it?”

Nia nodded again. She was starting to realize that it was probably for the best that she couldn’t use magic right now. She liked Mandie well enough, she couldn’t say she had anything personal against her other than her life choices, but she’d never been good with being told what to do.

“Are you a Connector?”

“What the hell,” Nia growled. First a Curse Spirit and now a Connector? “What is it with you and thinking I’m some incredibly dangerous thing?” Nia demanded.

“The level of magic you have, the skill with which you use that magic, the things you know, your personality. Do I need to go on?”

Did she have a lot of magic? Yes, a boat load of it. Was she skilled? Certainly more skilled than most. Did she know a lot? When it came to spirits she knew more than a majority of people. Was she a hot head with an unsuitable personality type for being a summoning spirit? Oh, most definitely. But did that make her a monster? No way.

She was different, she’d admit that any day of the week, but she was no more dangerous than Alice allowed her to be. Nia could have all the power in the world, but if Alice said she couldn’t use it that was that, no power for her.

Connectors though, they broke the rules. They lived for power and control. Their summoners have no power in the relationship unless their spirits give it to them. And even then, the power they get is nothing compared to their spirit’s.

“I would love for you to go on,” Nia grumbled.

“Your missing memories, your resilience, your ability to hold onto a physical form despite being unconscious, the lack of energy you draw from Alice after you’ve been summoned. Those aren’t traits you find in normal spirits, Nia. Now answer the question, are you a Connector?”

“No way in hell.” She wasn’t. She couldn’t be. There was no way. She would’ve known. She would’ve… She wasn’t normal, but she wasn’t a monster. She still had one thing going for her, one thing Mandie couldn’t look past. “Or have you forgotten the fact that Alice is a Summoner.”

Mandie’s eyes widened with surprise. She knew something, something Nia didn’t. She shook her head, “You don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?” Nia snapped.

“Nia,” Mandie sheathed her blade back at her side with one quick, seamless motion. “Alice isn’t a Summoner, she’s a Tamer.”

Nia’s world dropped away from her. Everything was blurred and felt far off and distant, even Mandie’s voice only came through as muddled background noise. Alice wasn’t a Summoner? What did that even mean? Their connection, emotions, powers. Was it all a lie? It couldn’t be. It was too strong to be a lie. Too real.

Or maybe, that had just been because Mandie reinforced their relationship. She’d solidified their connection, and she’d put Alice in complete control of their relationship from the moment Nia had stepped inside that magic Circuit. But. It couldn’t be-

Nia couldn’t accept this. Mandie had to be wrong. “That can’t be true!” Nia growled. She could feel magic welling up beneath her skin, twisting and turning with her emotions, but she couldn’t do anything with any of it. It was raging inside of her, but unresponsive to her commands. She needed to calm down. Before it overwhelmed her, before she lost control.

She took a deep breath then continued, “We have a summoning sign, Connectors don’t have those. Tamers don’t either.”

Mandie stood and walked over to a bed that was partly hidden behind one of the curtains hanging from the ceiling. She grabbed an old, dusty looking, leather bound book off of the top covers, and handed it to Nia. Wessler’s Guide to Psychic and Paranormal Phenomena 3rd edition was printed across the cover in gold gilded letter.

“While it’s true that Connectors don’t normally have a Summoning Sign, there have been two recorded cases where they did. And in each case the ‘Summoner’s’ abilities were more along the lines of a Tamer’s.” Mandie was watching her like a hawk. No doubt gauging her reactions, guessing what she was going to do next.

Nia would’ve liked to hid her feelings, hide her emotions like she had before. But, she was just too lost to even care any more. So what if Mandie knew how she felt? It wouldn’t change anything. Nothing she did now would change the fact that she had already failed in her life, and it wouldn’t change the fact that Mandie didn’t trust her.

Nia had nothing left to lose.

She sat staring at the book, but couldn’t quite bring her eyes to focus on the cover. She couldn’t make out the title, but what did it matter. Her mind was too busy analyzing everything Mandie had told her. It couldn’t be true, there was no way. But even then, there was evidence to back it up. How could she and her faulty memories and out of control power ever disprove solid, printed facts?

There was just no way. She wasn’t a Connector. She knew she wasn’t. She wasn’t a Curse Spirit either. But, if she wasn’t a Summoning Spirit, then what was she? Another mystery she’d have to solve. She was really starting to hate mysteries. Why couldn’t she just know everything? About herself at least, that was really all she wanted.

“I’m not a Connector.” When she finally spoke her voice was almost inaudible. “You have to believe me.” She set the book down and looked at Mandie with pleading eyes, all she had left were her own feelings, her own thoughts. People could tell her she was wrong all day, but that wouldn’t change what she felt. It never would.

Mandie was silent for a moment. Whether Mandie was weighing her words or figuring out how she was going to dispose of the spirit that sat helplessly before her, Nia couldn’t tell.

“I believe you.”

“What?”

“Connectors don’t have morals or a conscience. Once they realize it’s no longer in their best interest to pretend to be something they’re not, they admit pretty quickly,” Mandie sighed, picked up the book and tossed it back on her bed. “From what I’ve seen over the past few days you seem to care about Alice, and, at least for now, she’s completely in control of your powers.”

“So, what does that mean for me?” Nia asked.

Mandie flopped down onto the bed. “Well, it’s up to you whether you tell Alice any of what transpired here, but I’m going to allow you two to continue working together. After I heal you, of course. But, remember this, if you ever show signs of corruption or you do anything to hurt or betray Alice, I will make you disappear. Do you understand?”

All Nia could manage was a brief nod.

“I’m glad,” Mandie smiled. She looked at her watch and frowned, “It’s still pretty early in the day, but you should get some more rest. Assuming you don’t relapse at all and your burns heal according to schedule, I’ll be able to take you back tomorrow after noon.”

Now that Mandie had backed off, Nia took the time to shift her shoulders and stretched her spine, judging how much everything still hurt. There was hardly any pain left now. That was good. Thank the gods for her specialization. “I’m going to heal faster than you scheduled,” Nia smiled. At least there was one thing she knew for certain.

“No, I already accounted for your abilities with fire. My estimation is perfect, your injuries are just much worse than you probably realize,” Mandie said.

“How do you know about-”

The corners of Mandie’s mouth turned up in a sly smile, “Alice told me. Anyway, both of your burns are second degree and one of them has had a serious affect on your magic. I’m sure you noticed that your magics not working?”

“Yeah.” Nia had thought that it wasn’t working because of her current mental state, but she guessed that a seal burned into her back that affected magic would certainly cause problems too.

“And your tattoo isn’t helping any since it’s main function is to limit your magic output.”

Nia went ridgid. “You saw those did you?”

“I did. They’re the only reason I considered that you might be a Connector, that and the whole Tamer thing,” Mandie conceited.

“Yeah, about that?” Anything to distract Mandie from her tattoos, but Nia also needed to know if that was true or not, and what it meant for her if it was. Did that mean she was really just some anomaly that happened to somehow get permanently attached to a Tamer? And not just that, but a Tamer who hadn’t shown any aptitude for seeing or taming other ghosts. It just wasn’t lining up.

“I don’t know anything other than what I said earlier. And I didn’t do the test so don’t ask me about that either,” Mandie replied flatly, putting an end to their conversation.

Nia wouldn’t drop it though. She was onto something. If Mandie wasn’t the one to look at Alice’s powers, then that meant- “Was it that other exorcist that’s been protecting Alice?”

Mandie sat up a little bit straighter, eyeing Nia with concern. “How do you know about that?”

Nia couldn’t help but smile, now it was confirmed that, not only was that person an exorcist, but they also knew Mandie. What was it they said about two birds and one stone? “Well, their seals are everywhere in Alice’s apartment, and they sent their Shiki there too, and it’s not like they did anything to disguise or hide that stuff. It’s just logic.”

Mandie frowned, “There you go proving that you know stuff again.”

“Actually you’re the one who just confirmed that the other person is an exorcist.” Nia plopped back down onto her make-shift bed of blankets. She was acting fine, but that’s all it was. Acting. She needed to think.

Could she really trust herself around Alice? Could she trust herself with how little she knew about her past and her powers? She couldn’t predict the future, but there was one thing she could say for certain, she needed to stay away from high level spirits. There was just no knowing if she would lose control again. God. What was she kidding herself. ‘If’? That wasn’t an ‘if’ scenario, that was a ‘when’.

And whenever it happened, Nia just hoped that Mandie would be there to stop her.

***

Alice somehow managed to pull herself up from the warm comforter that was piled on top of her and stare at her clock with groggy eyes. She’d been asleep for eight solid hours but she still felt tired. She wondered how much of that had to do with the fact she’d been awake at three in the morning and how much of it had to do with everything that had happened with Nia.

She already knew this magic, or whatever it was, affected emotions, so it could affect energy levels too, right? What was she kidding, of course it could. That wasn’t even a reasonable question. She needed more sleep. But there was no more time for sleep, because it was almost lunch time and she’d told Billie that they’d go shopping today.

Alice pulled herself out of bed and walked into the living room, half expecting to see Nia on the couch like she had been the past couple days. It was a false hope, but it was better than nothing.

Nia wasn’t there. Everything seemed empty and quiet, more than it used to even before she had summoned her. Alice guessed that made sense. Supposedly Nia had been hanging around her entire life, only she’d been invisible. So this would really be the first time she was missing from the apartment. It felt weird, weirder than Alice would’ve expected anyway.

She shook off the feeling and wandered into the kitchen to dig through the cabinets for breakfast. It was going to be a cereal day for sure, so she pulled out her bowl, the half empty box of Cocoa Pebbles, the milk, and headed over to the table.

There was a knock at the door. Alice checked her phone. It wasn’t even noon yet, so it couldn’t be Billie. Had the boys come back to check on her? She’d figured they’d come around dinner time, but there was nothing stopping them from coming by earlier. She set down everything on the table and headed over to the door.

Alice opened the door, paused, rubbed her eyes, and looked to makes sure she was seeing everything right. Teresa was standing at the entrance. That wasn’t odd, Teresa came over all the time, especially around Christmas. The pile of presents she was holding wasn’t strange either, she’d always brought over presents ever since Alice’s parents had moved overseas.

No, the weird part was with Teresa herself. One very simple factor that changed everything. Teresa was glowing slightly white. Not an intense white or anything, just bright enough to outline her slightly against her surroundings, but it was enough to stop Alice in her tracks.

Teresa tilted her head to one side, “Aren’t you gonna hey?”

“Oh, right, yeah.” Alice felt her ears heating up. Why on earth was she embarrassed? Her friend was the one glowing white, not her. “Hey,” she said meekly, “what’s up?”

Teresa leaned back a bit and squinted at her. “I was coming over to say happy Christmas Eve Eve and what not, but you’re acting funny. Did something happen on your trip?”

Did something happen on her trip? Boy was that a loaded question. Yes, everything happened, not that Alice could tell anything to Teresa without sounding like crazy person. “No, nothing happened,” Alice bluffed, “I just wasn’t expecting you to come over so early, I’ve still got some shopping I need to do today.”

“You’re a terrible liar. Also, I think that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Teresa said.

“What about what I said was dumb?” Alice demanded.

“Aside from the grammar in that sentence, you going shopping two days before Christmas? Please. You’ve probably had all your gifts bought for months now! Besides, think of the traffic Alice!” Teresa joked as she walked into the apartment and dropped her pile of presents on the counter.

Alice smiled, whenever she was down she could always count on Teresa to bring her back up. Weird other worldly glow or not, nothing could ruin a day if Teresa was around. “It’s going to be a nightmare, I know.”

“Then why are you doing it?” She asked as she grabbed the box of Cocoa Pebbles and hopped up on the counter.

“Because I’ve been out of town the past two days and I still need to pick up some gifts. Plus I promised Billie I’d spend some time with her that wasn’t just Christmas.”

“But is it really worth your sanity?” Teresa asked, then grabbed out a handful of the cereal and proceeded to shove it into her mouth. “Besi’s, uf you don’ go, we kin hang-ow mor.”

Alice leaned against the opposite counter, still distracted by the white luminescence, but she managed a smile, “One of the presents is for you.” That oughta do the trick.

Teresa squeaked. “For me!”

“You’re gonna be here no matter what I say, so I figured I should get you something nice-”

“Speaking of something nice! I brought you something that you’re gonna love!” She pointed towards the stack of gifts she had placed on the counter and paused. “Wait a minute…”

“What?” For what felt like the first time since she had shown up Alice managed to tear her eyes away from Teresa.

“I forgot a thing. Oh, that is very not good. I gotta go get it.” Quick as a flash Teresa was back out the door and heading down the icy stairs to the parking lot. She hopped into her car and pulled out onto the street, heading back in the direction of her house.

Alice needed a minute. What the hell had just happened? Why had Teresa been glowing? Had she just imagined it? That seemed unlikely. But after all she had been through the past week, she wouldn’t be surprised if her mind was playing tricks on her. Maybe she was just sleep deprived. That could cause hallucinations.

Alice wandered back over to her cereal, poured her bowl and threw the milk back in the fridge. She tried not to think about it, but her mind kept wandering back to the iridescent shine. She set down her spoon after a few mouthfuls, this was going to bother her all day.

It was probably nothing. Just a trick of the light or something, that was the best explanation. That was the only logical explanation at least, unless Alice wanted to consider magic. She shook her head, that was crazy. There was no way Teresa had magic too, that would just be too big of a coincidence. Both childhood friends, both magic? No way.

There was another knock at the door. Alice looked at her watch, only ten minutes had passed since Teresa had left. If Teresa had been speeding, which she undoubtedly had, and she’d hit all green lights, which was also likely, then she could’ve gone to her house and back in ten minutes. Alice pulled herself back out of her chair and opened the door.

It wasn’t Teresa, though now Alice was sure that the glow hadn’t been a trick of the light. Billie stood outside the door wearing her favourite dark blue hoodie with her red hair pulled up in a ponytail, but there was more--she was surrounded by a light grey haze.

“Billie! I didn’t think you’d be back from work till two.” Maybe Alice was hallucinating, that wasn’t good.

“Back from work?” Billie shifted back on her feet and tilted her head to one side, “Today’s a Sunday, I don’t have work on the weekends.”

“Oh, right, yes. Yeah, weekends are a thing… So, how’s your morning been?” Alice asked, trying to lean against the open door casually. She failed, but managed to catch herself before she almost slipped off the door onto the pavement outside her apartment. She made a mental note to not act cool when she was potentially hallucinating.

“It’s been an aggravating morning,”Billie sighed and slipped past Alice into the kitchen. “A friend of mine was in town and I was trying to meet up with her, but she’s been giving me a bit of a run around.”

Alice closed the door and locked it. “Oh really, who is it?” She asked as she grabbed her bowl of cereal off the table and poured the leftover milk down the sink.

“Old friend from college, I’m not sure where you two would’ve met before now.” She sat down and the kitchen table and looked around. “So, shopping?”

“Yep, shopping.” Alice rinsed out her bowl, dried it, and put it back up in the cabinet. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on herself. She needed to know if the hazes were real or not. Alice turned back towards Billie, “But we need to wait for Teresa to get back.” The glow was still there.

“Oh? Teresa’s going with us?”

“Yeah. She swung by a little earlier, she should be back soon actually, and I assumed she would like to tag along. Is that alright with you?”

Billie shrugged, “It’s fine with me. Are you going to drive with her or am I going to drive both of you?”

Alice paused. She hadn’t thought of that. She didn’t want to intrude, but- “Would you be able to drive both of us?” She asked, cupping her hands together and raising her voice.

The door opened, “Who’s driving both of who?” Teresa asked as she placed the spare key to the apartment on the counter next to her pile of presents. She was still surrounded by the white haze, but the container in her hands wasn’t.

“I was asking Billie if she could drive us,” Alice responded, eyeing a small aluminum container Teresa was carrying.

“Why would you be asking her?”

Typical. Alice pointed across the room to where her guardian was sitting at the table, almost directly in front of Teresa, yet she somehow hadn’t seen her.

Billie gave her a little wave, “Hey Teresa.”

“Oh! Hey, Ms. Harrison,” Teresa smiled and waved back.

Billie frowned, “How many times have I asked you to just call me Billie?”

“About as many times as I haven’t.”

“That’s a good approximation.”

“So, should we get going?” Alice interrupted. “We’re all here, if we leave now we can beat the lunchtime traffic.”

“It’s 11:47, we are the lunchtime traffic,” Teresa teased. “Besides, aren’t you curious about what I brought you?”

Alice wasn’t really curious, she already knew what Teresa had brought. Or, at least she thought she knew. It was Christmas and her mom was a baker. “I am indeed, wanna open it up?”

Teresa set the aluminum baking tin on the counter and pull off the plastic cover, revealing  golden brown phyllo dough drizzled with honey and chocolate.

“Ta-dah!”

“Woah,” Alice leaned over the counter to get a closer look. “Your mom made baklava, that’s awesome!”

Teresa smiled with pride. “I’ll have you know my mom and I made it,” she corrected.

Alice took a step back and crossed her arms, “Really? I am so proud of you.”

“Keep that tone up and I won’t give you any,”

Billie heaved herself out of her chair and pulled her car keys from her pocket“When did you make it?”

“Yesterday.”

“Nice.” Billie slipped past Alice and headed to the door, “I’m going to go warm up the car, you two come down when you’re ready.”

“I’m make sure we’re out real quick, Ms. Harrison,” Teresa chirped.

“It’s Billie,” she corrected as she firmly closed the door behind her.

Teresa’s demeanor changed the moment the door closed behind Billie. She seemed dimmer and less energetic. “Hey, are you doing okay?”

“Hm? What, yeah. No, I’m fine,” Alice replied in an instant. She hadn’t heard what Teresa had asked her, she was too lost in her own train of thought, but she figured she’d done a pretty good job of covering her bases.

“Okay, you just gave three different answers to my question, also you look really pale.”

“Really, I’m fine,” Alice responded.  “I’m just a little run down from the trip.” That and being attacked by a deity type spirit, plus all the stuff with Nia, and now Teresa and Billie were glowing. Maybe Alice should say she wasn’t feeling well, that would give her some time to get her energy back. Plus she might hear from Mandie about Nia, and if she did she’d be able to ask about these auras, or whatever they were. No. Nothing would be solved by moping around the apartment. Nothing would be solved by going out either, but at least this way she might feel better sooner.

“If that’s all you say it is I’ll believe you, but if you start to look any worse I’m bringing you straight home. Deal?”

“Deal.” Alice said as she grabbed her purse off of the counter near the fridge. “Now we should get going.”

***

Going shopping wasn’t a good idea. Alice should’ve stayed home. It wasn’t just Billie ad Teresa who were glowing, it was everyone. Every single person Alice looked at was glowing either white or some shade of grey out of the million of different shades there were. It was annoying, and it made her head and eyes hurt. What made it worse was that every single person had seemed to decide to go shopping today. The mall was filled four times fuller than usual. People were everywhere, in every corner in every store.

No matter where Alice looked there were at least two or three people in her vision, so instead of looking around she opted for staring at the floor. But even there she could still see the auras coming off of the people’s feet. They’d only been here for about fifteen minutes, but already Alice was done. She hadn’t picked up the last few things she needed, but she didn’t care. Her head was aching, her eyes were burning, and on top of that her hands were sore.

“Hey Alice, check this out!” Teresa chirped. Alice raised her eyes from the floor and looked to where Teresa’s voice had been coming from, finding that the aisle they were in only had her, Teresa, and two other people in it.

She could see that Teresa was holding up a small container in her hand, but she couldn’t read it. Normally it would’ve been no problem, but there was someone standing close enough to Teresa that the dark grey haze coming off of them was obscuring the words on the container.

“What is it?” Alice asked.

“It’s this super weird cream that’s claiming to make your skin age backwards,” she replied. She squeezed behind the man separating them and handed the container to Alice. “See.”

Alice skimmed over the direction on the bottom, “That is super weird.”

“I wonder if it works.” Teresa took the container back from Alice and placed it back of the shelf she had pulled it off of.

“It probably doesn’t.”

“Yeah, but imagine if it did. Like, if someone wanted baby soft skin would they have to go through a period where they got acne and stuff first? Or would it just skip that?” Teresa picked the contain back up off of the self. “It’s only fifteen dollars, maybe I should get it,” she mused.

If Alice had been feeling better she would’ve laughed, but the best she could manage now was a feeble smile. “If you wanna buy it I’m not going to stop you.”

Teresa started at it in deep thought for quite some time. “I’m gonna buy it,” she declared. “Actually no, it’s too much money,” she put it back down on the counter and turned to look at something else. Only to turn back to it and pick it back up, “But I really want to know what it does.”

Alice felt someone tap her shoulder and turned to see Billie standing beside her. “See anything you can’t live without?” She asked.

“No, nothing’s really catching my eye.” Alice hadn’t been looking at anything, so she didn’t know if there was anything here she needed, but that didn’t change the fact she hadn’t seen anything necessary. “What about you?”

“I haven’t seen anything I was looking for. So, if you two are ready we can head out, maybe try to find someplace with less people,” Billie suggested hopefully.

“I’m ready to go whenever, but Teresa’s having a bit of an internal struggle,” Alice pointed over her shoulder to where she was sure Teresa was still standing debating whether or not to buy the reverse aging cream. Then turned to see her biting her thumb and staring intently at the shelf.

“Teresa,” Billie called, “You don’t need that.”

“I know I don’t need it,” she responded without even looking at Billie, “But I want it.”

“Why the hell do you want it?” Billie said, confusion hinting at her voice.

“I wanna know if it works.”

“Yes, but do you want to stand in the twenty minute line that would be required to purchase it?” Billie asked.

“Twenty minutes! No way I’m wasting twenty minutes and fifteen dollars just to see if this stuff works,” she exclaimed like she’d be willing to waste either twenty minutes or fifteen dollars, but not both.

Alice shook her head. “Alright then I think we’re ready to go.” Her eyes dropped to the floor the moment they rounded the corner back out into the sea of people. She was thankful for how many times she had been here, she didn’t need to look where she was going to get back to the entrance.

They were mere feet away from the exit when it happened. A sharp pain shot through her skull, forcing her to stop. Instinctively her eyes shot up and she scanned through the room. There was something here, something dangerous. She didn’t know how she knew it, she just felt it.

The white and grey auras still burned her eyes, but even the pain they caused seemed to dim compared to what she saw standing at a check out a little ways across the store. The person talking with the cashier looked like any other person you might see out shopping two days before Christmas: combed brown hair, cheesy Christmas sweater, dark blue jeans, and red Converse. But what drew Alice to him was his aura, it was black. Pitch black. Nowhere near a variant of the greys she’d become used to seeing.

Something was wrong with this man. He was dangerous, she knew it. But she couldn’t force herself to move, she was transfixed by the black aura that swirled around him and seemed to affect the auras of everyone who passed by him. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t look away, what was wrong with her? The black haze was moving now. The man wasn’t, but the aura was closing in around her, until the light around her was slowly covered up.

She was being cut off from everything around her. The light vanished, the darkness was all that was left. It was all she could see until-

Something hard hit her across her face. No, it wasn’t a hit, it was a slap. Alice’s eyes shot open and the first thing she saw was the ugly grey-pastel blue colour that they sometimes have on stall doors inside of stores. Slowly her vision focus and she could make out the stall doors, the gross dark grey tile that covered the floor, and Billie sitting across from her. She must’ve been the one to slap her.

“Are you alright?” Billie asked as Alice managed to fully focus on her face, her eyes were wide with panic and concern.

Everything was a little fuzzy. “What happened?” Alice managed to ask. Or tried to ask, she wasn’t sure if that’s exactly what came out, but it’s what she was aiming for.

“You fainted,” Billie said as she looked into Alice’s eyes and she placed her hand against Alice’s forehead.

Her hand felt like ice against Alice’s skin. She tried to shrink back from Billie’s hand the moment they touched, but her head was already against the wall.

“You’re burning up,” Billie stood, pulled a few paper towels out of the dispenser, ran them under the water for a quick second, sat back down and pressed one against Alice’s head and the others against her arms.

Normally she would’ve protested, but she couldn’t find the strength to. Alice hadn’t even noticed how hot and heavy her arms had felt until Billie had placed the cool towel on them. It felt nice, relaxing. But another throb shot through her head, dragging her mind away from how nice it felt. By the time she managed to refocus Billie was talking again.

“Can you stand?”

“I- I don’t know,” Alice breathed out heavily. “Maybe.”

“Alright, Teresa is bringing the car around back so we don’t need to walk that far. Grab onto my hand.”

With the help of mostly Billie pulling her up while she simultaneously leaned all of her weight against the bathroom wall, Alice managed to stand. She felt woozy, but managed to pin herself between one of the sinks and the wall to help steady herself.

“You good?” Billie asked. Alice couldn’t respond, she’d managed to get her footing, but she felt like if she tried to speak she might just throw up, which she really didn’t want to do. She managed a brief nod, even though she really didn’t feel good she didn’t want to be here any more.

“Alright,” Billie took the damp paper towels off of Alice skin and tossed them in the trash. She passed Alice her sunglasses, “Here, put these on.”

Alice accepted them gracefully and forced her arms to move enough to slip them on. The room darkened more than she would’ve expected from looking at the glasses, but she wasn’t complaining. Anything to block out light, hopefully they would help block out the glows around everyone she looked at.

Billie slipped her arm around Alice’s back, allowing Alice to shift her weight off on the wall and onto Billie. They shuffled over to the door, and back out into the store. The moment they rounded the corner in the small hallway that separated the bathrooms from the actual store Alice’s eyes begin to burn again from all the lights. The glasses were helping a lot, but after spending who knew how long only seeing Billie’s subdued light grey aura, all the others were overwhelming.

Alice dropped her head and closed her eyes, trusting Billie to get her out of this hell. Even with her eyes closed she could still feel them, she could tell the colour of aura of each person they passed. Most of them were light grey, but every now and again there were irregularities. A white here, and dark grey there. Never another black. She was thankful for that.

Before she knew it she could feel the cold air clawing across her face. She opened her eyes just as she and Billie passed through the door to the back exit of the store, which lead directly out into a section of the parking lot. The clouds from the incoming storm were covering the sun, and Billie’s sunglasses were blocking whatever light was seeping through the clouds, making the entire world look like with was covered in a dark grey light.

Alice had felt better the moment they had walked out into the fresh air, but the dampened light and the fact that there was no one in the parking lot except for Billie didn’t hurt either. Billie adjusted their course, moving them towards her car that Teresa had pulled up alongside the curb close to the door. Teresa popped out of the driver side as Alice and Billie approached.

“How is she? Is there anything I can do?” She asked rapidly. Billie managed to interrupt her before she could ask anymore questions.

“She’s got a headache and a fever, but otherwise she’s fine. Can you open the passenger door?” Billie directed as she leaned down and swooped Alice’s legs out from under her. Before Alice could even register what was happened Billie had picked her up and was placing her onto cold leather passenger seat. Billie closed the door with controlled force, limiting the sound, and hopped into the driver's seat as Teresa got into the back.

Alice had her eyes shut for the entire ride, willing them to get home quickly. No one spoke, not even the radio was on, and after a short while the gentle noise and moving motion of the car on the slightly damp pavement from last night’s rain lulled her off into a sense of sleep, even though she felt like she was still wake. She drifted in and out of consciousness, thinking about nothing but being back in her bed where she wouldn’t have to look at anyone.

Alice’s eyes cracked open with the sound of the car door being shut, she hadn’t even realised she’d been asleep. She looked around ask much as she could handle, even with the dimmed light. They were back at the apartment complex. She could hear Teresa and Billie’s muffled voices outside of the car, but couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. The next thing she knew the door on her side was opened and the damp, freezing air from the outside rushed over her skin, chilling her to the bone compared to the warm environment from inside the car.

She tried to move as Billie helped her unbuckle, but she couldn’t do much once Billie picked her back up out of her seat.

“I can walk,” Alice mumbled even though her mind was still heavy with sleep.

She heard someone scoff, that was definitely Billie. “Sure, and I can fly.”

Alice didn’t argue, she didn’t have the energy to and her head hurt too much to even begin forming a cohesive argument, but either way there was no way Billie would set her down. She might as well just take advantage of not having to walk and the extra heat she could feel coming through Billie’s thin jacket against the winter cold.

Even with her eyes closed Alice could tell where they were, just like how she could feel the people they had passed while they were still in the store. She knew when they had reached the walkway, she knew where the stairs where, and when they had reached her door.

“Hold on a second,” Billie said as she gently dropped Alice’s legs to the ground. Alice stood in a haze, leaning most of her weight against the icey iron railing that surround the upper outside of the apartment complex. She could hear the jiggle of keys as Billie pulled them out of her pocket and flipped through until she found the key to Alice’s door, she could hear the door unlocking and being opened.

Billie picked her back up and took her directly to her room, as they passed under the door frame Alice thought she saw a soft blue glow through her closed eyes that she’d never seen before, but she couldn’t be sure. The moment Billie placed her down on her bed, pulled up the covers, and closed the blinds Alice forgot about the glow and drifted back into the nothingness of sleep.

***

Alice’s eyes still felt heavy when she opened them, they didn’t burn anymore, and her head certainly felt much better, but she could still tell she wasn’t completely better. Something didn’t feel normal, she just didn’t know what. She was surprised to find that the lamp on the other side of her bed was on, casting a pleasant warm glow against the wall and curtains she was facing.

She rolled over in her bed with the intent to turn it off, but froze when she saw Billie slumped in the chair by the bedside table. The aura around her seemed dimmer, not darker, but, less bright for sure. It also seemed to only be visible directly around her sink instead of filling ua much larger space in the air around her. Maybe she was asleep, or maybe whatever was happening with Alice was tapering off.

“So you’re awake,” Billie said, even though everything about her posture suggested she was unconscious. “How do you feel?” She asked as she opened her eyes and leaned forward enough in her chair that she was able to use her hand to take Alice’s temperature today.

“Fine.” At least she certainly felt better than she had at the store. She shouldn’t have gone shopping, but then again, hindsight was twenty twenty.

“How do you really feel?” Billie asked, not believing Alice’s answer for one second.

It’s been worth a shot. “Pretty terrible. My head really hurts, so do my eyes, but it’s not as bad as back at the store.”

“Well that’s not great, but I guess it’s good.” They sat in silence for a few moments, until Billie looked at her watch, “You hungry?”

She was a little hungry, she just didn’t know if she could eat. Her head didn’t hurt as much anymore, but that didn’t mean she felt great. Even talking was causing her more trouble than she was expecting, so she didn’t even know if she’d be able to eat anything. But it was worth a shot. “A little bit yeah. What time is it?”

“It’s just a bit after five, you’ve been out for almost four hours.” Billie yawned and pulled herself out of the chair, “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go make us something incredibly bland to eat. Any requests?”

Alice thought it over for a moment. And then a moment longer. It felt good to be able to think again. She hadn’t even realized until now that she hadn’t been able to think the entire time after she’d seen that person with the black aura. “Rice sounds good.”

“Alright then, I’m off to make some rice.” She grabbed her sunglasses off of the bedside table and headed towards the door. That’s when it registered with Alice. She hadn’t thought about it before, but now it was staring her right in the face.

“Hey Billie?”

Billie paused right before she left the room, her hand resting on the door handle, “Yeah?”

“How did you know?”

“What?”

“How did you know to give me your sunglasses?” Alice had never said her eyes hurt, or that it was the lights that were causing her headache, she didn’t even think she’d said she had a headache. So how had Billie known to give her the sunglasses to block out the light.

Billie tilted her head, “Does it really matter? It helped didn’t it.”

“It did, but…” She trailed off. She didn’t know how else to phrase was she was trying to ask, and she certainly didn’t feel like trying either.

“If it’s that important to you, it’s because your eyes were all bloodshot,” Billie replied.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” and with that Billie opened the door and walked out of Alice room.

Alice rolled back over and tried to think over everything that had happened earlier. The odd thing was, for the first time in her life, she didn’t think she believe Billie.

***

Mandie was skimming over the book she’d shown Nia earlier, of course she wasn’t really reading it. In the past few hours she’d learned more about Nia than she’d imagined possible in such a short time. Everything was starting to fall into place, it was all becoming clear. The tattoos on her back and arm had confirmed it. Nia had been a spiritualist while she was alive.

No, not just a spiritualist. She’d been an exorcist. There was no denying it, not after what Mandie had found. Everything was coming together. All the pieces she’d picked up over the past week were finally starting to make sense. Although there were some parts to her theory that she couldn’t confirm unless she went back for another visit. Only Kauzic would be able to tell her if she was right or not, there was a possibility that Kiyan knew too, maybe even Sebastian.

Just how big was the web of lies around Nia? Mandie didn’t doubt for a second the truth behind what Nia had told her earlier, except for maybe that she hadn’t gained any of her memories back. Mandie knew that she had to’ve gotten something, but if her theory was correct then there was no way Nia would talk about those memories, it would mean instant death for her with anyone else, but Mandie was different.

She believed that Nia had lost her memories, she believed that Nia didn’t remember he life or her death, she believed that Nia didn’t know what she was, but she also believed Nia wasn’t a Connector. Connectors knew what they were, even if they had scrambled memories that was the one thing they knew, and they were always proud of it. What she did know was that Nia was a threat more dangerous than she had come across in years. Much more dangerous than she’d assumed even after the first night they’d met.

She’d need to tell Bea what she’d figured out when she dropped Nia back off tomorrow. She’d have preferred to keep Nia with her after what she’d figured out, but that would raise suspicion. Not just from Alice, but from the boys too. It was best to send her back, and with Bea hanging around it wasn’t like anything could go catastrophically wrong. She’d be able to keep any eye on both Nia and Alice without either of them knowing.

It would be best for everyone. Besides, thanks to Mandie, Alice currently held control over all of Nia’s powers, even the ones Nia might not know about. Keeping the two of them together would restrain Nia better than anything Mandie could do, plus it would give her enough free time to fly out to the Society before they went on another job.

That was that. She’d drop of Nia at Alice’s tomorrow evening, drive out to Hal’s for Christmas like usual, then head to the Society on the next flight she could get. All she needed was for someone to admit they’d known Nia, and for that, Kiyan was her best bet.