adopted mind

its a poem about the confusion of religion

yapping migraines

her eyes red as bad,

questions remain unanswered

as evolution is defined

 

 

 

sacrifices offered

as lucifer is marked

the wrong answer

the opposition accepted

but in null form to the

reasoning species,

ruled like a racing horse with no freedom

of expressions,

just orders from a godly sold out book

 

 

 

curiosity of the mind giving life

acceptance of the rules killing understanding

praying and believing on your

wounds , that burn and turn to ashes.

adopted mind

is it real even though it can`t be proven

 

 

Reviews

[AK]

Nice topic to write about. But here are a few things I noticed:-
1. After 'her eyes red as bad' there is a space before the comma, while in English we don't do that. You could try correcting it.
2. In the last line, it is 'can't' not 'cant'
3. It would be nice if you would incorporate some capital letters in the poem.
4. I feel the poem doesn't flow freely. Try reading it and you'll find places where it is disturbed. Also try substituting some words with others for a better poem. I can't pin point words as it is your poem and your style of writing. Change only what you feel should be changed no matter what anyone tells you.
Have a good day!
Akanksha Suresh

[Sirius King]

is it real even though it can`t be proven

that says it all...it leaves so many question in your "adopted mind"

very nicely done

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Good read and excellent write. It's real, believe me, I wish it wasn't