Where the heart lays

for my son

A Poem for the star (Chirstian ‘josue’)

 

We have never met before

I approach you with strange designs on my body and with hate inside my heart

And you step away

I reach towards you, to bring you closer to me but you begin to cry

My heart bleeds for every tear that releases from your eyes.

You may not know who I am my dear boy but I have waited for you since i was in the womb

The love I have for you conquers all the hate inside my heart

Your eyes draw me closer to you, yet somehow penetrates through the very soul I am bound too

I have traveled many distances, far and wide searching for this thing we call ‘love’

And I have failed every time

With every failure I am pummeled and beaten to the ground, for the hatred to settle inside my heart.

I am not perfect: the scars on my body and the blood on my hands speak for me, so I no longer can feel my lips

I have danced with satan and have dwelled in the deepest and darkest places in hell

Does thou wonder what has become of me? Did you even know I existed?

I have cursed the God and his angels out of anger and frustration, hoping to for once be free from the chains that binds me to this world

Death knoweth my name, and even the gods have nicknamed me ‘the murder man’

I have carried weapons to destroy the lives of others and traveled throughout the lands only to find death to sabotage myself

As your precious eyes pierce within my soul mine do the same

We are one of the same my son

Born from the mud and molded through the potters hands to sin on this earth

We are connected throughout the stars and our hearts beat as one in the same:

Beating and beating, searching and searching for the meaning of life

You cannot remember how I am, but I have known you your whole life.

Even when you are sleeping, I am in sorrow of absence of you

You are the morning sun to my day and the fallen star in my night

You are the reconnaissance of my childhood and you are the keeper of my heart

I have asked the God what is my purpose and my purpose is you

I arise to fight another day of hardship and poverty and barely manage to stand at the end of the day

I have nothing left to live for

You are the string that holds my life together

The air I breathe and the water from which I drink

My heart sings for you in beats and rhythms, though you cannot hear its symphonies

 

Do you know who I am yet, oh boy?

 

When you close your eyes, I will be there

Whenever you look into the skies, I will be there

When you are alone, my heart will always be with you

 

Just as you cry, I have shed my tears as well but for you

I cannot imagine living a life without you, and it pains me that I cannot be present with you

 

Anyone who comes against you must go through me, as I will lay my very life down for you.

Climb the highest of mountains and swim the largest of oceans

Fight the biggest of giants and wrestle with the longest of serpents

I remained unseen but know that you, oh boy, are the keeper of my heart

You are the star that aligns with the gods and you are to succeed me, I pray

 

I pray for your up bringing and your protection to place the hedge of heaven around you and for the highest of angels to lift you when you fall

The answers seem far and distant but they are there

Through a cloud of confusion and anger, the light will always present itself to you

When things seem dim and dark, remember that you are the light to my life and have the shine to aluminate even the most ancient of cities.

The world lays within the palms in your soft and tender hands along with my heart

 

Though we are separated, we are connected through the blood which flows in our veins

Like it or not

 

Christian josue, no woman or car or materialistic thing can even compete with the boldness of love I have for you.

 

You are the one, and in my tearing eyes, you are the prince in my life

May the God bless every breath, every movement and every little action you take

I love you my son

 

-          Your father

Reviews

[Jen]

"You are the string that holds my life together, the air I breathe and the water from which I drink, my heart sings for you in beats and rhythms, though you cannot hear its symphonies".....That took my breath away