Worthless

A Story by Ashleigh

Another sad story.

Her head tells her that she is worthless. Her heart tells her that no one loves her. Her best friend is gone. Her boyfriend hates her. And what of everyone else? Well they have all hung up on her when she needed them most. Is there no one near her who actually cares? Her parents never notice her.

When she cries there is no where that she can turn. No shoulder to console her. All she has; lithium that she doesn’t need and a tear-drenched pillow. Soon she will reach her final conclusion; her only answer is suicide.

She has tried before; more than once she has come close. But in the ends she fails; she always fails. Not this time though. She is too determined. Her cries for help; all ignored. Even the guy she loves won’t try to heal her. Every time she calls him he ignores her calls. Her heart breaks more.

She doesn’t even see the need to write a goodbye. No one would read it anyway. No one cared. Why would they? She was only a girl that had lost so much; seen so many traumas; been through things that no one should have to go through. No one understood her.

She calls him one last time. Again no one answers; her last attempt at goodbye ignored. She takes the gun that is hidden underneath her bed. Opens her mouth slides the barrel of the gun inside and closes her lips around it. The metal against her lips is cold. The taste is ever so familiar; a mix of gun powder and iron. A taste that no teenager should know.

She puts her finger on the trigger and without further thought…she pulls it. The thick sticky substance leaks from the gaping hole in the back of her head and the roof of her mouth. And before she dies; memories of the good parts of her life flash before her eyes. She realizes; she will never fall in love again. And with the little energy that she has left she calls him; he answers; she tells him ‘I’m dying. I just had to tell you that I’m sorry and that I really do love you’ and with that; she died. Forever lost.