Hand Over That Rocket Launcher

My teacher told me to use less words, so here's my attempt.

You promised,

And I believed,

But now,

NOW

...

He's gone,

And you've lied.

Author's Note

do whatever you want to this.

The title is sort of like an inside joke.

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

There's nothing here for me, honestly. I'm not sure about any of the context, who anyone is, or what they have done, or what they have lied about, or why he's gone. It's just confusing.

Here's my philosophy on word use (or how many words we should use): You should use as many words as are necessary, lol, obvious I know but still...

In journalism, you want everything to be as simple as possible. In fiction you have the freedom of vocabulary, but you still want to be as precise as possible so not to jumble up the readers, or bore them to death like Charles Dickens sometimes does. But in Poetry, well, anything goes really. Don't constrain yourself by being too simple, which is what I think you've done here. Expand on these things and really let the readers in, give them something to see and something to feel, give them something beautiful to relate to. This doesn't quite do that, in my opinion.

Anyway, those are my honest thoughts. Have a nice day!

-Travis

[Brenda Sue]

I too like this. Short, simple with kind of a sadness to it. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

Hmmm. I admire your ambiguity in this poem. It could mean anything, and I like that. :) Great style; very short, but means SO much.
KH