February 11, 1936: I Wish

PROPOSALLL!!!!!!

 Dear Diary,

 

 

     Oh I don't know where to start. I don't even know what emotion to grasp onto. I suppose I'll just tell you what's had me flustered. Bob proposed today. I know I should be happy, ecstatic, and I am. At least I believe I am... It's just the stress of premeditated murder that's poking and prodding at me. Why did he choose now of all times to propose?

     Well, he said he was going to wait until Cassetti passed away, but after watching adoring the Cilician Gates and watching me stare so wistfully out into the distance, something had struck him.  Somewhere between the cotton white treetops and pale blue sky, he felt, it was the time to propose.

He also assumed it would put me in a more chipper mood. However, that didn't happen. My heart heaved a sigh, and I turned to face him. I stiffly shook my head, closing the box he'd held in his hands. I wiggled away from his arms, which he'd wrapped around me before presenting me with the fourteen karat white gold ring embracing a radiant cut diamond.

     Stricken, his expression drooped with age and fatigue. He agonizingly whispered my name. My hands covered my face, and any tears that had the urge to stream down my face. I had to hold it in. I wasn't about to let myself fall apart here, right after rejecting the man of my life.

     “Mary-” Bob choked out.

     “Not now. Not now. When it's all over. When it's behind us-then-,” I replied, keeping my tone as cool as possible sensing that the short, bundled man was somewhere near by. I couldn't let on any emotion I was, and still am feeling. Inhaling the winter air, I let out a careful breath, and wrapped my arms around his rigid body. Slowly, I felt his body melt against my warmth.

     “It's just proposal. The marriage comes later anyway,” a whisper tickled my ear. He didn't want to give up just yet. I shook my head, and buried my face into his chest. We stood there for a few more minutes, before breaking the hold. Leaving him a quick peck on the cheek, I returned back to my compartment, and flung myself onto my bed. Leaving tears of bliss and anguish upon my pillow.

     Diary, did I do the right thing? Did I really have the right to deny our hearts of engagement? I wish I knew. I know that marriage always comes at least several months after proposal, but I think maybe, the commitment is just too great right now.

     I'm going to call someone in to make my bed now, I don't have the urge to write anymore.

Mary Debenham

 

Author's Note

Any help is appreciated!

Now, why the font's all funny is beyond my comprehension!

Reviews

[Brenda Sue]

Very emotional. Great and well written.