Laugh Into the Light

                                  The dimmed expanse of the buttons on my pants
                                How they fret to stay interweined, another bottle of wine
                             In my layer do I lay, as a liar, not a mess
                          Nor a "lost, unguided soul"... Nor another unpaved road
                       And today, I have none but one friend to remember
                    Unphysical presence, a present to the ears
                 As a song washed in fury hangs above my abode
            Dripping with water, and soaking this place
          Unhealed metal, meditation, and I'm calmed
      Drunk and high and... Who knows anymore?
   I ask of you: Doth pitty the dead, for they awake no more to thank thee
Maybe she's right; 15 years, a waste
 

 

Reviews

[J.E. Stroud]

I love it. It's really a great piece...I don't have any suggestions, except that 'pity' is spelled wrong.

[brainelation]

i'd like to start my review with the negative aspects of your poem. you spelled pity wrong, it's only one t.
now the positive: i love the stream of consciousness style of the poem, as well as the physical aspect of it... it looks like it's falling over, which seems to be the mental state of the writer, one we've all been in.
i also like your word choice, with phrases like "In my layer do I lay, as a liar, not a mess" though i wonder if you meant lair instead of layer? but the alliteration is wonderful, and the use of some old english-esque words at the end adds another layer of detached emotionality. love it.