January 2nd, 2011

My first dream of the New Year. It's actually quite disappointing that I'm unable to stop dreams like this...

I felt nervous and excited as seven o'clock drew nearer. Opening night was upon us, we were ready to go, I felt chocked with anticipation. 

Finally, it was time for us to get ready for the show. I turned on my curling iron and, while I waited for it to heat up, I started on my make-up. First, I coated my entire face with foundation then I used a deep chocolate coloured eye shadow and applied it heavily to my lid, lightening the colour as I wen hight up till it was a light powder brushed along the bottom of my brow. The effect gave my blue eyes a dramatic look. Second, I outlined my eyes in a pitch black eyeliner and finished them off with a heavy coat of mascara. For my cheeks, I applied too much rouge, accenting my cheek bones heavily, so heavily that - had I gone out in public looking the way I did - I'd have been called a prostitute. I finished off with a scarlet red lipstick.

After only a few minutes more, the curling iron was hot enough to use and, forty minutes later, my hair was a mass of mousy brown ringlets. I then walked to the dressing room and changed into my costume. 

It was a beautiful red dress, an older style like that of the 1920's. A beautiful corset top and laced in the the front and sleeves that fell just off my shoulders. The skirt was long, falling almost right to the floor. On my way out of the room I caught my reflection in the mirror and gasped. I looked - pushing aside the fact that my character was a w***e - beautiful. My hair fell in gentle curls at my shoulders and framed my porcelain-like face perfectly. My dress hugged my body in all the right places and when I moved my dress would curve against my body in the most flattering ways. I looked like a princess.

I stared at my reflection a few moments longer then ran upstairs to the Empress where the rest of the cast had already commenced their vocal warm ups. I walked around the circle till I found an opening between Mark and Alex then settled into the comfortable routine warm ups we'd done for so many months.

I stood in the green room, watching as Mark and Lily sang That's Your Funeral. They did it splendidly, never missing a word, not a note, not a beat and then end harmonies were phenomenal. Even our director seemed impressed. I was happy that things were going smoothly.

After a few minutes, Mark and Lily were backstage. I expected them to run right to the dressing room and change for their next scenes so it came as no surprised when Lily did just that but I was startled when I looked up and saw Mark leaning against the wall, watching me. He stood when I caught his eye and walked towards me. "Can I talk to you?" He asked, his voice low.

I took his hand and followed him down two short hallways and into the small room between the green room and the stairs to the Empress. We stopped and stood together in silence for what seemed like hours. I knew I couldn't stay much longer, I'd be needed a few short scenes. "What is it?"

"I, uh... I don't quite know how to say it..."

"Czarina!" Came the voice of my dear friend (and fellow w***e) Maya. "We need to go, now!"

"We'll talk later" I told him as I ran down the hallways toward the stage.

We got to the wings in the nick of time, they had just finished You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two. We walked onto the stage and sang and danced, the whole thing with Mark though was never far from my mind. Eventually we were able to flee the stage and once in the safety of the wings, I ran. I didn't really need to, I knew that he'd be waiting in the green room, he'd want to talk before the next act, that's simply the way he is. 

I proved to be right. The moment that I passed through the doors to the green room I saw him, leaning against the wall, his face a mask. I approached him cautiously. "Mark?"

He looked up and smiled. "Hey." He took hold of my hand a in a whispered voice said "Come with me."

I followed him through the stage doors and into the wings. We would be alone here and that's exactly what he wanted.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked after we'd stopped walking.

He approached me slowly, never letting go of my hand. "Czarina," he started. "I want you to..."

"To what?"

He inhaled deeply. "To give me another chance... After callbacks last year when you told me how you felt... I wasn't ready for that and I know I could have told you instead of what I did do but..." He inhaled again. I could tell he was nervous, I was too. It had been the last thing I'd expected from him. "I'm sorry.."

"It's fine." I told him, my voice coming out in almost a whisper.

He smiled that beautiful smile of his that reached from ear to ear and I felt my heart melt. I was wrong, I'd never gotten over him, I'd only made myself believe I was.

"Would you like to go out sometime?"

The moment the words pass through his lips I felt my heart stop. All my blood rushed to my face and I couldn't help but smile.

"Yes," I replied in an excited whisper. "Yes."

"How about a movie at my place after the show?"

"That sounds wonderful."

He kissed my cheek lightly and led the way out into the green room. I followed behind, a silly grin stretching across my face. This was what I'd been waiting for for sixteen long months. It seemed unbelievable to me that it could really be happening. Everything was perfect, everything...

Then I woke up...

Author's Note

It's been 17 months since I found myself falling for him, and since that time he's led me on, ignored me, avoided me, and finally - within the last few months - started talking to me again. I thought that after all this time I was done with him, that he was a part of my past but now I don't know.

Note: This is from my own unconscious mind so there is very little that could have been written to begin with.

Reviews

[Stephen]

You did an excellent job of describing it. Painful haha but good. I hope things work out with you two. Or better yet I hope you find someone even more perfect

[Calypso]

Very interesting. I used to keep a journal of my dreams, but I stopped. Maybe I should write it down like you do.