Chapter 19

    She didn't come back, at least not to see me. I hadn't seen her since the day I left her in the alleyway by my childhood house, a month and nine days ago. I stare at the white wall, sitting on my made up white bed, my suitcase closed beside me. Someone knocks on my door and walks in. I don't turn to see who it is.
    "It's been a while since you've been home. We can make it cozier. In fact it looks more like a prison cell than anything."
    I smile slightly. "Thanks Sarah."
    "Do you want me to help you unpack?"
    "No thanks, I'll get around to it sooner or later."
    Sarah sighs. "Jude, I'm sorry about Charlotte."
    The sound of her name causes my chest to constrict, and I close my eyes. "I don't want to talk about it Sarah."
    "You didn't mean it, we all know that. I'm sure she knows that too, but why don't you find her and tell her?"
    "I said I didn't want to talk about it."
    She sighs again. "Okay. You start school tomorrow, even though it's the middle of the week." Sarah walks over and kisses me on the cheek. "Welcome back Jude." Then she turns and walks out of my room, shutting the door behind her.
    I stand up and take off my jacket, unzipping my suitcase and throwing all of the clothes into the first drawer of my dresser. I put the suitcase into my closet and then sit back down on my bed. All of my games and books were still here, sitting on the dark mahogany book shelf by the door. I take a deep breath. I could survive.

    The next day I feel like s**t. My mom cooks me a good breakfast, smiling at me a lot, but never saying anything. My dad reads the paper and drinks his coffee, like one of those movie dads. I eat some of the eggs and then stand up.
    "Is that all you're going to eat?"
    "I'm not hungry. But thanks mom." I smile. Her hands begin to tremble again, and she quickly goes to clear my dishes.
    "Sarah will drive you to school in about five minutes, so go and get dressed."
    I stride back to my room and pull on a pair of skin tight black jeans and a cut off Joan Jett and the Blackhearts t-shirt. I pull my sweater on and slip on my Goodwill shoes. I comb my bangs over with my fingers on my way out of my room, grabbing my bag as I went. Sarah is standing by the door, keys in hand.
    "Ready?"
    "Whatever."
    We walk out to her car and head towards Birmingham High School. When we drive up, I see everyone I used to know walking towards the front doors and my head starts to hurt.
    "You'll do fine. Call me if you need to."
    I nod and get out. The air is cold, and it hurts my chest as I breathe in. I walk fast toward the front doors, ignoring as everyone started to point and stare. I was going to be the talk of the week, but I can't say I didn't see it coming. I keep my head down as I enter the halls and walk towards the front office. Just as I turn the corner, I smash into something similar to a rock. I stumble back and look up to see Josh Henderson, the quarterback football player who used to be Charlotte's boyfriend and who I punched in the face the last time I was here. His face turns into a grimace when he sees me.
    "Jude. I thought maybe you'd been eaten by a bear and shitted out."
    "Not exactly, Henderson. But thanks for the kind welcome, I missed you too."
    "Don't be a smart a*s with me. Don't think I don't remember what you did to me the last time you were here." He points to his eye. "My eyes have memories."
    "I'm sure they do." I'm about to walk around him when I see her.
    She's wearing a short floral dress with her beautiful fire colored hair tied up in a sloppy bun. Images of her bare skin along mine beneath the sunlight flash in my head. I can't help but stare. She smiles at a girl in the hallway and I feel my breath being stolen away from me. I shake my head and duck into the main office quickly before she sees me. I walk up the attendance desk.
    "Can I help you?" The lady asks.
    The door opens and Charlotte walks in with Josh, hand in hand. My mind goes blank.
    "Excuse me, son, can I help you?"
    "Yeah, this is my first day back. I was away...."
    "Right. What's your name?"
    I put my arm up to cover my face. "Jude Kendrick," I say quietly, hoping Charlotte wouldn't hear.
    "I'm sorry, you're going to have to speak louder."
    "Jude Kendrick," I say again. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Charlotte look over at me.
    "Jude! Welcome back, we missed you."
    "Sure," I mumble.
    "I'll go print out your schedule, it'll just be a minute. I'll be back." The lady walks into a door by her desk.
    "Hey Jude."
    I look over at Josh. "What?"
    He points to his eye and gives me a menacing look.
    "F**k off Josh," I mumble.
    "Hey."
    My heart pounds wildly at her voice.
    "Don't be rude to my boyfriend."
    I gulp back my pain and squeeze my eyes. I mean to say something mean back, but nothing comes out. The attendance lady comes back out and hands me my schedule.
    "Here you are Jude. Don't be late!" She smiles big.
    I nod and head towards the door. I stop and turn back around to Josh and Charlotte. Her eyes pierce through me.
    "I hope he f***s you good."
    Her eyes go wide and I turn and walk out, heading down the hall towards my first period class.
    "Hey!"
    The tapping of her shoes starts up behind me.
    "A*****e!"
    I turn around. "What?"
    "What the hell was that? You think that just because we used to know each other you can come back here and butt in on my life?"
    "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that we didn't know each other anymore."
    "Well...." She puts her hands on her hips and looks at the ground. When she looks back up, her eyes are softer. "I guess I should say welcome back."
    "No need. I'm not happy about it."
    "I thought you would have liked to get out of rehab. You told me it was hell."
    "Not compared to this." I sigh. "Charlotte can I apologize?"
    "No need. It wouldn't change anything."
    I look at her. "You look beautiful."
    She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Don't compliment me."
    "Why? Because you like it?"
    Charlotte opens her eyes. "No. It's because I have a boyfriend who wants payback on you for beating him up before."
    "So you're worried for my safety?"
    "Shut it Jude."
    "I'm sorry, Charlotte. I was angry and I was in a lot of pain. What I said wasn't true, and I didn't mean to hurt you." I take a deep breath. "God knows I'd never meant to hurt you."
    "Thanks. But, like I said, it doesn't change anything."
    I adjust my backpack on my shoulder. "Fine. Then I'm going to go to first period. I'll see you around."
    "Yeah...."
    I turn and head towards first period, shaking my head at our conversation. Just then, two long spidery tan legs filled my view.
    "Jude!"
    "Tessa?" My eyes go wide. Tessa was my friends with benefits before I was sent to rehab.
    "You are looking as sexy as ever. I heard you were in rehab." She winks. "So are you up for a round after school? We haven't done anything in a while." She bites her lip.
    "I'll call you," I say.
    "Just a call?" She gives me her puppy dog face that I used to find so sexy.
    I wink and she smiles big. Then she does the unexpected. She pulls me to her and kisses me hard on the mouth, practically sticking her tongue down my throat. I must have been insanely high every time I kissed her, because right now it felt like she was slobbering inside my mouth. She bites my lower lip and pulls, and without thinking about it I let loose a soft moan. My eyes fly open wide and I pull away.
    "I'll call you." I scoot around her and turn the corner down the next hallway. As I do so, I look back and see Charlotte standing in the same place I had left her.