Chapter 16

   I want to hold her hand, but I know we have to keep our relationship secret. Something about "false hopes", is what they kept talking about. That's why the boys had their schedules and the girls had theirs. I push open the doors that lead to the visiting area, and Charlotte walks through first. As I follow behind her, I look up to see the people waiting there. Theresa is sitting on the couch next to Isaac and my sister, while my mom and dad are standing beside them, giving an occasional glare at Theresa and Isaac who are deep in hushed conversation.

   "Mom?"

   Both Theresa and my adoptive mom look up at my voice. But only Theresa stands up to come meet me.

   "My little boy! You're so tall! I haven't seen you in so long!"

   She's wearing a large wool button up coat that hides her skeleton figure. Her hair is long and took on the color of a deep brown. It looked like she had tried to brush it. She was wearing makeup and a nice long dress with sandals. It made me angry that she had gotten dressed up to come see me in a rehab center. Her spidery arms wound around me, and her head came to rest on my shoulder. She was a short thing, my mother. Short and fierce.

   "Hey mom," I say, awkwardly putting my arms around her. "How have you been?"

   "Like hell." But she smiles wide. "How is my boy?"

   I smile at her. "Like hell."

   "Theresa, please don't use such language around my son."

   Theresa turned at the sound of my other mom's voice and cocked out her hip, placing her hand there. "Excuse me? Your son? He's only legally yours. By blood he's mine. So back off Helen."

   My mom just stood there with a tart look on her face, crossing her arms over her chest. I looked down at the couch to see Isaac still sitting, his back to my face.

   "Dad." I licked my lips. "Are you doing okay?"

   His bald head bows as he nods. "Other than the cancer I'm pretty dandy."

   "You still have time. Maybe it'll go away-"

   He stands up abruptly and turns towards me. One of his eyes are swollen, surrounded by black and blue. "I meant your cancer, son."

   "I feel okay-"

   He clears his throat. "Theresa and I would like to take you out for lunch, if that's okay with you. We figure we don't have that long and it's been a while since we've seen you anyways."

   "Now wait a second," my adoptive mom pipes in. "We were going to take him out to lunch."

   "Why don't we all go?" I suggest. "I don't care how much you all hate each other, I just really don't want to have a heated argument right here in this room."

   My sister stands up and smiles. "I think that's a great idea."

   Isaac nods. "Sure why not."

  My mom shakes her head. "I will not have lunch with these people."

  "Fine," I say, looping my arm with Theresa's. "Then you can stay behind."

   "Hang on," Theresa says. "Who is these beautiful thing standing right on over there?"

   I look up to see Charlotte standing still a few feet away from me and Theresa, anxiously chewing on her fingernails. I smile slightly and Theresa catches it.

   "She someone special?" She whispers in my ear.

   "This is Charlotte." I let go of Theresa and go grab Charlotte's hand. "She's here doing a project for school. I'm her lab rat." I look at Theresa. "Can she come to lunch too?"

   "Do you even have to ask?" She's smiling at me.

   "Wait a minute. She's not part of this family, and I don't want to pay for an extra." My mom looks angry.

   "Oh hush up you. Your heart is about as small and cold as a cube of ice. Charlotte can come if she likes."

   Like I said, short and fierce my mother was. Charlotte pulls me off to the side.

   "Wait a second Jude, I don't even know if I'm allowed to be going anywhere else but here during school hours. Besides, I don't want to invade in on your personal family time."

   "What if I want you to come?"

   She bites her lip.

   "Charlotte." I can smell her. "I want you to come along."

   She sighs. "Only if you come have lunch with my family too."

   I hesitate. "Fine." I kiss her forehead and turn back towards both of my families. "So where are we going for lunch?"

   "Nanna's soup kitchen," Theresa says. "We used to go there all the time when you were little."

   "That's a charity place, for people with barely any money," my mom guffaws. "Now why don't we go to a nice place, like Sarante's?"

   "I 'aint never heard of any place called Sarante's, and I want to go to Nanna's soup kitchen. They have the best soup around." Theresa walks up to my mother and gets real close up into her face. "And don't you dare call it charity, and don't you dare call me poor. I'm surprised they let a woman like you take my son from me."

   "Mom." They both look at me. I raise my eyebrows. "I'd like to go to Nanna's soup kitchen." I look at Charlotte. "Nanna's soup kitchen?"

   "Nanna's soup kitchen."

   "All right." I start walking towards the door, pulling Charlotte with me. "Nanna's soup kitchen it is."

   We're all cramped into my mom's SUV. Charlotte and I are squished next to each other while Theresa sits on my left. My mom and dad are sitting in the front seats and Isaac and Jane both sit awkwardly next to each other in the seats in the rear.

   "Everyone buckled?" My mom asks, turning on the ignition.

   "Just go already," Theresa barks.

   Charlotte looks terrified, so I take her hand. She squeezes it and places it in her lap. The drive to Nanna's soup kitchen is a short and quiet one. The awkwardness kills me. When we get there, I feel embarrassed. There are so many homeless people walking in and out of Nanna's soup kitchen, who barely have clothes, money or any love. And I just drove up in an SUV. We all get out of the car and head towards the restaurant, its open sign blinking unsteadily in the window. My mom is muttering to herself in disgust, and I'm embarrassed to be here with her too. Theresa is smiling wide, holding Isaac's hand. At least my real mom was happy. Inside there are wooden tables and food on the floor. But I don't mind. It feels like home.

   "Theresa!" Someone calls. A stout old lady comes out from behind the front counter with a mop in her hand. Her hair is back in a bun and her hands are covered in dirt and grime.

   "Betty!" They exchange hugs.

   "How you been since the last time I saw you?"

   "Just wonderful. I got to bring my boy today. Betty you remember Jude right? He's a bit older now though."

   I smile at Betty, who I remember quite fondly. For about a year, we had to come here every night for food because my mom hadn't discovered prostitution yet and Isaac was in jail again. Betty had been our waiter every day. She even spared us money sometimes.

   "Jude, you have grown so much!" She looks at Charlotte. "And look at you! With a nice looking girl too!"

   Charlotte's cheeks turn bright red.

   "Well go ahead and sit down. I'll be right out with some soup."

   "Excuse me?" My mom stands there awkwardly in her nice expensive clothes.

   Betty looks her up and down twice before saying, "Yes?"

   "Do you not have any menus?"

   "What kind of place do you think this is?" Then Betty walks away.

   "It's all right mom," I say, and lead us all to an open table. We sit down, and not minutes later Betty is back with bowls of soup. I remembered that the only soup they served here was minestrone. I laughed as Betty set a bowl down right in front of me.

   "My favorite. How'd you know?"

   Betty laughs too. "You are the cutest thing Jude." She ruffles my hair like I was a little kid. "Enjoy all of you."

   My mom stares silently at the soup inside a bowl that's been chipped and worn away.

   "Just eat the soup," I say under my breath at her as I take a spoonful and put it into my mouth. Theresa, Isaac, my sister and Charlotte are all hungrily eating their soup. My father just sits there.

   "So you finally started talking did you?" My dad starts.

   "You know, could we please not rip each others throats out right now? I really don't want to talk about that stuff."

   "Then what should we talk about Jude? Your lack of responsibility? Your lack of masculinity? Your lack of holding up your end of this family?"

   "Dad please," Jane says.

   "You're right dad," I say, continuing to eat my soup.

   "Damn right I am."

   "So how exactly does one become a man?" I say, glaring at him. "I assume you would know wouldn't you, because you're such a man yourself?"

   "Shut your damn mouth," he says through his teeth.

   "No, you shut your damn mouth," Theresa growls at him. "Don't you dare talk to my son that way. He's a bigger man that you will ever be. And how dare you treat him like he isn't worth the world."

   "Mom stop," I say.

   "No, a mother bear has the right to protect her baby cub."

   "Can't you let me handle this?" I say, turning to look at her. "I'm not a baby cub anymore."

   Charlotte's hand rests on my knee and I know I need to calm down.

   "I'm sorry," I say. "Look, I know I haven't been the best person, and I know I've made mistakes. But this is my first day out of that stupid rehab facility center since I got in, and I'd like this time to be good instead of bad."

   "I have the right to speak to you about whatever I want, and you better answer me too Jude. You have made too many wrong decisions, and frankly your mother and I think it was a mistake to bring you into our house. We though we were ready for you, but we don't think we are." My dad is sitting up straight with his head held high and his hands in his lap. I clench my jaw. Like a f*****g man.

   "And I have the right to leave." I get up and push my bowl to the middle of the table. "F**k you dad."

   "Sit your butt down," Theresa says.

   "No, I'm f*****g done with all this s**t."

   Charlotte stands up and follows after me as I leave.