Chapter 14

   Charlotte rests her chin on top of my chest, looking up at me from beneath her eyelashes. My fingers are creeping up along her bare back, exploring the crevice of her spine with interest. She's biting her lip with a small smile.
   "What?" I ask, returning the smile.
   She kisses my skin softly and then rests her cheek against my chest. I move my hands up to stroke her hair.
   "You're just entirely different than I imagined."
   "How so?"
   "I misjudged you as a person and about your life. So now I'm letting you know I was wrong."
   I laugh. "Not entirely."
   Her fingers run along my side. "If you don't mind me asking, what is your life really like? Before you were sent here, what was your day like?"
   I raise my eyebrows and release a long exhale. "Well, I wasn't really living in a house. I didn't want to live with Theresa anymore, which I couldn't really anyways. I also didn't want to go home to my adoptive parents because all they would do is talk about reputation and yell at me for not being the obedient child they ordered for. I was kind of back and forth with my friends, sometimes I wouldn't sleep at all, just wander the streets. When you're wired on drugs you don't really sleep that much."
   "How do you feel now? About all of the drugs. Do you still want crack as much as you did before?"
   I lick my lips. "Probably not as much as before, but of course I still want it. I think in a way I'm always going to still want it. Maybe just not enough where I have to have it on a daily basis."
   "What about me?"
   Charlotte looks up at me, biting her lip again.
   "What about you?" My heart pounds at the question.
   She smiles.
   "What?" I ask.
   "You're flustered."
   I look away.
   "So, what about me Jude? What do you think of me?"
   "I think you're beautiful."
   "And?"
   I take a deep breath. "I feel like we're getting a little deep here...."
   "I don't know why you're so scared to go a little bit deeper." She's moving up my body now.
   "Don't do that thing again, I know what you're trying to do."
   "What do you mean?"
   Her face is awfully close to mine.
   "You know that thing you do...." I'm starting to stumble on my words.
   Charlotte raises an eyebrow. "I don't know what you're talking about." Her lips barely graze mine.
   I nod my head. "You did this to me the day I told you about my sisters wedding. You're making it hard for me to think straight."
   She smiles wide. "There's another thing, I make it hard for you to think straight. What else?"
   I smile back. "You're good."
   Charlotte pulls away. "Jude I have to know how you feel, about me, about all of this."
   "Didn't I just make it clear to you how I feel?"
   "Actions are not the same as words."
   I swallow back the words. "I'm not ready for words yet."
   Charlotte sits up, her red hair a tangle of mess on top of her head. It makes me want to take her right then and there again. She holds the sheets up to cover herself as she looks away from me.
   I sit up and lean towards her smooth neck, kissing her gently there. "Showing you how I feel is a lot easier than saying it," I whisper as I move my lips across every inch of skin I can reach. Charlotte bows her head, cutting off her neck area. I bow my head beside hers, nuzzling her cheek with mine. I hear her sigh. I lift her chin up with my fingers and stroke her jaw line. "Come on Charlotte," I whisper. "You know how I feel."
   "Then I don't understand why you can't just say it."
   "Saying it makes me feel vulnerable."
   "And me saying it doesn't make me feel vulnerable?"
   I drop my hand from her face. "You scare me Charlotte. I've only experienced things like this on drugs. You're out of my comfort zone. Being this close to death I'm scared of telling you how I feel because I'm scared of dying when I'm with you."
   Her eyes glaze over with tears. "I feel scared of you dying when I'm with you. And I need to hear you say how you feel so that I can know that's how you felt about me before you left."
   I smile softly. "I'm not leaving yet, Charlotte." I lean forward and envelope her lips with mine. Our kiss is strong but gentle, and I graze her cheek with the back of my hand before pulling away. The tips of her fingers trace my lips as she stares at them.
   A knock on the door pulls us away from the moment and I sigh.
   "F**k."
   The door handle moves, but the door remains closed. Another knock.
   "Jude? Are you in there?"
   "It's Drew," she gasps, tumbling out of the bed and grabbing at her clothes.
   "Someone is in a hurry," I say, slipping on my boxers before getting up and walking towards the door.
   "Wait!" Charlotte hisses. "I'm not dressed yet!"
   "Well then hide!" I say, and watch as she dives underneath the bed.
   I remove the chair and open the door, raising my eyebrows at Drew. "Yes?"
   "Why didn't the door open?"
   "I put a chair there," I replied truthfully.
   "Why would you put a god damn chair there?" He hesitates. "You smell like sex."
   I stare at him.
   His jaw locks. "Jesus Jude, save that for night time when people won't be randomly walking in your room."
   "Hence, the chair," I reply.
   "It seems you've been having some trouble with that chair. Would you like me to take it?"
   "Not really." I sniff and adjust my weight to my other foot.
   Drew frowns. "Where is Charlotte?"
   "She went to get something from her car." I was surprised at how true that sounded.
   He crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay. I just came to tell you that you've been bumped up a level, despite your stupid fight earlier. You now have the wonderful privilege of going off the grounds with a family member." He put emphasis on family member.
   "Awesome. I'll call my parents at a later date."
   Drew continues to stand there.
   "I kind of have to get back, so if you don't mind I'm going to shut the door now."
   "You're a sick teenager."
   "I'm a horny teenager. Don't act like you weren't the same way."
   Drew roles his eyes and walks away, so I close the door.
   Charlotte pops up in only her bra and underwear. "That was close. You couldn't have waited for me to dress?"
   I smile. "What's the point?"
   She roles her eyes but smiles. I walk up to her.
   "What say you and me go have lunch in the cafeteria together in thirty minutes when they start serving it?"
   Charlotte stares at me for a moment. "Are you asking me on a date?"
   "Possibly."
   She laughs and jumps on me, sending us both onto the bed. She kisses me before replying.
   "Well then yes, I would love to eat lunch with you in the cafeteria in approximately thirty minutes."