The addict.

I thought this while riding on the bus on the way home.

I feel like the addict.

 

You know, the one who doesn’t understand the meaning of the game?

 

I feel so overwhelmed.

Like the meaning of the game is me.

I realize now how much I don’t want to go home.

How home seems more of a derogatory word now.

I don’t want to lose myself in another world

I don’t want to reinvent another safe place for me to talk

I don’t want to make myself feel better

I just don’t want to walk along the same god damn path every god damn day.

I feel like the addict.

Unable to get rid of the feeling of smoke bound inside your chest

Unable to tell yourself “no” when you really want it.

I don’t want you to reach out.

I don’t want you to tell me you know what I’m going through.

 

We’d all be better off if I were the only one,

who feels like the addict.

 

I look outside the bus window, at the things I know and the things I don’t know.

I wish this bus ride was longer.

But the bus ride takes as long as it takes for me to bum a cigarette.

And I have to get off before I’m ready.

I take slow steps to my house, unsure of how I feel about “home”.

It smells of a good home cooked meal which I’ve forgotten how to eat, tastes of burning plastic in the microwave because I forgot again, sounds like the eerie ringing echoing in your ears because there is so much silence.

But then I think about how realistic that sounds.

I feel like the addict.

Standing outside my house, waiting to walk through the screen door.

                        And I think about walking through it with my smile

                             Walk straight up to you and talk

                                       Because I haven’t talked in a long time.

But then I remember,

I remember when I used to talk.

 

And things kind of just fell apart.

 

I feel like the addict.

You know, the one forced to play this game?

You tried to teach me, remember?

But we all know how better off we’d all be,

If I was the only one who felt like the addict.

 

 

Reviews

[Pookie]

The way you put different fonts, and bolded things and underlined them, give it a unique feeling. Really good write.

[Crimson1]

This is a really good exercise in manipulating the physical structure of a poem to communicate it point more clearly. It is good on its own but hits even harder. Alot of print publications won't do this kind of thing and its a shame, even alot of the emags wont, keep with it and you might be able to change someones mind. Good job.

[Cassiopia Summers]

It's very interesting how you created the lines in different sizes, placed them differently, and used different fonts. These all helped the poem to create a sense of the"addiction", like crazy whirl-wind inside the mind. All in all it was a great poem, but I have to agree with Jeb about "addict" being the main focus on the repeats.

Great piece, I loved it. [:

[Jeb]

Heh, I like it. What interests me the most is how the lines are in different positions and the sizing of the words. Quite interesting. It had a decent flow and almost no grammatical errors, which is a big plus. Only small issue I saw was you repeated words a few times throught the poem. It doesn't ruin the poem, but it would probably sound better if 'addict' was the only word that was repeated.

All in all, I liked it. =)