What Am I To You

These were originally lyrics I wrote for a song I wrote on the piano, but I decided it could work as a poem too.

I am the waterspout breathing down your back

I am your childhood memory

I am your worst heavenly secret

I am your helper in your bad times

 

I am your secret compartment

I am your red balloon you let fly at my birthday party

I am the cow jumping over the moon

I am the runaway fork and you'll be my spoon

 

I am the bed in your bedroom

I am the picture of the girl hung up in your locker

I am the sharpie pen that writes your name out

I am the sorrow that you left the day you said goodbye

Author's Note

I know that it's random and out of order, but that's how it's meant to be.

Reviews

[Preston]

i demand to marry your writing right now!!!! = ITS GOOD SO SHHH.
YOU AMAZING GURL FRAND

[Alice Oiseau]

I'm back! Like I said I would!
Okay, I REALLY like this. The repetition of "I am" doesn't really build climax. It's the images that do the building, which is usually an opposite effect of repetition. Random and out of order reflects the mood as seen through the ending, "I am the sorrow that you left the day you said goodbye." So it dives into these intimate memories that are just racing and scattering the persona's mind, and then it comes together at the end. They're scattered because he said goodbye, she's heartbroken, and in that state, the mind is out of order. Brilliant Zoe :)
Favorite line, "I am the red balloon you let fly at my birthday party."

Keep up the wonderful writing, Zo Zo :)

[Alice Oiseau]

Zoe I really, really like this. I'll be back with a better review, but just popped in and saw you had a new post and it's fantastic.

[deeps]

I am your reviewer, so here, LOL
I like this, I think it flowwed wonderful.
I like how you say I am this and that in each line
I particulary like the last line the best.
Very well expressed write!