Return to ficticious love

A poem with A twist

Return To Fictitious Love

Gazing into your oceans of blue
This is where our false love grew
Sitting across a sheet of white
You acted as the flame
and my heart did ignite

Curls winding and resting
upon your shoulder
Lace my hand with these curls
Hoping, wishing
together we grow older

Stone cold, your gaze
disappears from view
Ice forms around my heart
Your feelings subdue

Smile?
more like cracks
Shattering my soul
A perfect face for the family
This morticians goal

That one meal I imagine
Could be how we met
My own little dream world
To this otherwise bleak set  

Whilst preparing the bodies
My mind often strays
The girl I’m preparing
An actor to one of my plays

Author's Note

Just thought I would take a stab at a surreal poem

what you think?

please give honest reviews as always

Reviews

[northern monkey]

Once again you break new ground in such an engaging write. Fascinating.

[howlfjdks]

Sometimes it is better to turn some of the people that cross our paths into characters. Some of the choices people make that affect our lives are too surreal to digest.

[Grace Catherine C.]

Interesting, amazing.

[Arabdha]

one of your best pieces so far..another addition to my library :)

[Kat24]

hi,
very interesting. really good. great job. Kat24

[Kiri Nells]

Another beautiful work! I love the way it flows and I can definitely feel the emotion you put into this. Great write!

[Poeticadia]

oh, excellent! I love the way the 'sheet of white' hints from the beginning at the mortician doing his job... his 'flame', her 'stone cold'... the poem unfolds itself so well... and then its raison d'etre in the last stanza. Very well written.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

I think this is amazing!

[♥Chloe-The-Zombi..]

this is really good. i like it :) keep writing