Is there something wrong with me?

A poem about reflection

Is There Something Wrong With Me?

Sitting up in bed
reflecting on the past
Observing my single life
and how I am the last
Friends all have partners
I’m victim to their love
Having to witness every second
claiming they are sent from above

I’m there to comfort the arguments
I’m here if your alone
I’m anywhere you want me to be
Even if your spiteful words I don’t condone

They are only in the moment
when your anger is at it’s peak
Listening to friends slate eachother
Then be totally in love within a week

Now I’m always the friend
the third wheel on a date
The person you feel sorry for
Who wants to stay out late
But your lives together change you
And now its early nights
The only time I see you
Is after one of your fights

Then I’m here to comfort the arguments
I’m here if your alone
I’m anywhere you want me to be
Even if your spiteful words I don’t condone

I continue to reflect
looking at pictures from the past
Wondering what I do
to make my relationships never last
Perhaps I’m too needy
wanting to hold you everyday
Is it a sin to tell you I love you
When you make me feel that way
I observe the long lost smile
I rarely choose to show
Always being the dumped
Never letting go

Do my friends wish me happiness
Do they really care
For I’m the person they come to
In any time of despair

I am the listener
the comforter
the blend
The fixer
the negotiator
I’m just Ashley
The vacant friend 

I long for a time when I can say
I’m busy this time around
I have my girlfriend over
The one that I have found
I can’t be there to help with this argument 
I’m sorry I’m not alone
I can’t come to meet you
Don’t spite my friend
I’m hanging up the phone

But I don’t think I could do that for I am just too nice
My life is incomplete without love
I’m always the sugar and I crave for the spice
It breaks my heart to be lonely
a tear drop has come loose
The thoughts of my lonely life
Acting as a noose

So is there something wrong with me??
I’m everything and more
I will give you my entire world
Be the person I adore
Just let me taste love one more time
Its sweetness I do crave
I’m willing to open up my love
Even the heartbreak I will brave

One day is all I want
just to feel this way again
And Ashley blacks world
you will surely reign

Author's Note

I wrote this whilst looking through some old pictures

please be honest as always

yes its me in the picture

Reviews

[Tarik]

This is so touching. After reading this i locked myself up in the bathroom for about two minutes, before i returned to write down this review. I can't explain. It's as if you've encapsulated my feelings here. I feel the same; so lonely, so misunderstood. My fears are nearly the same as yours. I'm afraid that one day my best friend will get married and forget me, and then, i'll remain all alone under the shades of my languid thoughts.

[northern monkey]

Better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. This poem is a great reflection of the bruises inevitably inflicted on a big and open heart. The alternative to such an emotional rollercoaster is to be more guarded, and live half a life. Such emotional people often forget they have friends who'll see them through the lows.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

This is a very touching piece and written from your heart it was almost as if I could hear it beating in my soul pounding in my head pumping through my veins. I feel for you I really do I can relate to this so much; Gosh I could have wrote this about myself but not as good as you have written it. I love this poem It is very well structured one of my favorites of yours. Every line is soaked in emotion Fantastic piece of writing Ashley. Your poem truly speaks volumes and it shows how versatile you can be which is is absolutely amazing I'm awestruck by your talent and passion Thanks so much for sharing and inspiring and being my Muse

100/100

[guiltyascharged]

Oh, so sad. Don't worry; that one girl (or guy, I don't judge) will come for you!

[Sunni Davis]

Very well written and very relatable. Great job!

[SpokenWord]

As always your poetry is Stella and always has that smooth flow to it. I think maybe in your past you dated the wrong kind of woman for there is a type that would treasure you more than any other. When we are not completed by another we often think there is something wrong with us and that is healthy to do because looking inward at ourselves helps us heal ourselves. Holding onto love is difficult no matter who we are and just because people are a couple doesn't mean they are truly happy or truly in love most are miserable. Your friends probably envy your freedom even if they never admit it. Just be you and do you and maybe try a different type of woman.

[Stef Outsiders]

And no, there is nothing wrong with you!!
forgot to add that.... you might hate seeing my write this but its 'normal' feeling like that... even though 'normal' don't quite fit with the dark minded poets... lol

[cfix]

I really love the closing line.
Old pictures can bring back certain memories.
You did a very nice job here.

[Stef Outsiders]

oh I know this feeling...
"I am the listener
the comforter
the blend
The fixer
the negotiator
I’m just Ashley
The vacant friend "

I know that verse very well... I've had that 'Vacant friend' pinned on me all my life.
You will find love again, feel it. Sometimes love can just hit you, or stab you in the back right through to the heart without realizing you have a blade there, with big bold letters saying 'Love' on it.( my dark cupid expression lol )
Many can relate with how you are feeling my friend. I'm happy you share it with us, it's good to let it all out...
100/100