Black Buttons

The origin of The rag doll series

Black Buttons

He sits there smiling as he stitches each seam
creating a monster worse than in any dream
A face of innocence hiding such dread
All details perfected apart from the head

White and red polka dot, perfect little dress 
Small brown shoes and red hair to impress
But the face is the masterpiece
this shamans quite proud
His own created daughter
Only evil is vowed

Laced black mouth an emotionless grin
Darkened magic spoken, evil within
Face starts to move eyebrows show stress
Blind without the eyes
whilst arms touching her dress
The final pieces in hand the black buttons to add
Casting his magic becoming this Casey dolls dad

Shining and shimmering evil within
Laced mouth smiling as the doll commits sin
Grabbing scissors from her own creators hand
Stabbed in the throat the reaction unplanned
Blood gushing out the shaman does crawl
Little Casey jumps on his back from a stool
Removing the scissors and severing his heel
This creators nightmare is only too real

Just wanting a daughter but black magic his gift
Vision now blurring his hand he can’t lift
Loss of blood his downfall his daughter in glee
This little doll having a taste for blood and now is free

Climbing the work bench a box does stand
Looking very much like a closed wooden hand
The doll moves in darkness wonders the street
Avoiding all people
until a toy shop entrance at her feet

The black buttoned eyes swirl with intent
Sleeping beads in the box for this dolls lament
Until she is opened Casey will sleep
Do this for a while if your life you wish to keep

Author's Note

The origin of my new series of poems About a Rag doll hope you all like

please review honestly as always

Reviews

[xXxCynicalWarsxXx]

So far the words and the flow are just as I hoped: Intense and always to the liking.
I do too remember why I hated dolls, why I could never sleep in my own bed if one was there...*shudders* Oh the insanity!
Love the lines:

Shining and shimmering evil within
Laced mouth smiling as the doll commits sin
Grabbing scissors from her own creators hand
Stabbed in the throat the reaction unplanned
Blood gushing out the shaman does crawl
Little Casey jumps on his back from a stool
Removing the scissors and severing his heel
This creators nightmare is only too real

Captivating the features well. Nicely, and "horrificly" well captured!

Now I remember why when I was a little girl did not like dolls ... You emphasized the underlying fear of every girls mind at that age ... Scary, but very well written. :D

[Shelby]

One comment: you wrote, "This doll moves in darkness wonders the street" when I believe you meant, "This doll moves in darkness wanders the street". I could be wrong, though. Otherwise, no spelling/grammar errors, which is really amazing. Do you edit before you put it up here? I wish more people would do that. It's nice to get into the story without having to stutter over spelling and grammar mistakes. Especially in poem, which need that rhythm. By the by, you have an incredible knack for keeping rhythm, which is difficult. Either you naturally can pick up the beat of a poem, or you must work hard to catch and keep said beat. Both are admirable qualities, and I am impressed. I liked the prelude to the story. That was a nice touch, finding out where creepy little Casey comes from. Kudos, my friend. Thank you for sharing with me.

[Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of..]

Well me old random chum i really enjoyed this :)

[Thea Fuentebella]

I agree on freelance's comment about the rhyming. overall it's all creepy and menacing and beautiful like the first one!
one thing though, shamans use white magic and are considered as "good" witches. they're good healers and livens the crops and all. their evil counterpart are the voodoo priests, which you might know do curses on people by making voodoo dolls. just sharing!

glad you made this one a book. it's also cool that the main character's the villain (and an adorable one at that!) great job all in all :)

[freelancejouster]

the mash-up of rhyme almost works here because of the creepiness that is associated with the doll, but almost doesn't usually work. besides that, this is sufficiently creepy, i suppose, hahhah, great work and wonderful descriptions.

[Katie]

I like this poem. Its a great opening to a series. You should consider making a book and having each chapter a poem, so that we can keep track of the story better (assuming there are going to be quite a few more in the series, which I hope there are)
This reminds me of that horror story we are told as kids..with the doll who's smile gets bigger the more people she kills. I think it's really interesting to see that idea in poetry form.

There are a few sentences that seem a little awkwardly worded as an attempt to make them stay in form. Missing a few words or added 'ing' to a word to make it fit in the form. The fact that this is a horror series makes that slightly less of a problem because the reader is reading so fast to find out what happens next, but in general I think that is something to try to avoid doing when at all possible

[Dilan Gray]

I love how dark you made this poem. You really put a lot of great images into the poem, you can see the whole story unfolding. I liked how the doll turned against her "dad". You had excellent descriptions throughout the poem. I really loved it, great job.

[M.Babu]

"A face of innocence hiding such dread
All details perfected apart from the head"
This was my favourite line. Though the whole poem had many high points to chose from. The flow was magnificent and you really managed to hook me throughout this lengthy piece. That is a mark of a great writer to me. The ability to string along your readers wherever you please. Even to the box of dear Casey. The plot was well thought out and i applaud you for your strong delivery. I have nothing bad to say on this piece. Wonderful job here! Keep Writing

[trainwreck]

Great beginning! I love it.