Poem For A Fleeing Love

A mixture of shorts

Poem For A Fleeing Love

Two hearts beating as one

 two souls sharing one love 

one love to last for an eternity 

Stare into the future

 the past remains the past 

dealing with a love 

you always thought would last

Dealing with the arguments 

sitting all alone 

Just thought I would say I love you

 then hanging up the phone

Relationships blossom

Then slowly turn to black

Love is an obstacle 

The energy I surely lack

Live for the here and now

New relationships embrace

Your feelings are allowed to change

Your face will remain your face 

Little quotes of love 

Little songs of woe

Little pieces of emotion

Ashley don’t let them show

Black is who I am

Black is my true aim

Want to earn my love?

Well that is a shame

Author's Note

Please give honest reviews as always

Reviews

[Shelby]

Little quotes of love
Little songs of woe
Little pieces of emotion
Ashley don’t let them show

These were my favorite lines. It's so true that we try to put on a facade when we are in pain or torment. I was also struck by the last stanza. It was dark and sad, an unfortunate consequence of the pain the speaker has been through (you, I'm assuming?). However, that last line seemed the beginnings of anger and, eventually, recovery, and I liked that you ended, if not upbeat, then at least not on a heartbreak. I must also commend you for your apt titles. I always have to use one of my more important lines for my titles, which generally means it's just a throwaway for me. You, however, always capture the theme of your poem with a very satisfactory title that never is just a line from the piece. I applaud you talent for finishing a poem so brilliantly. Thank you for sharing this with me.

[trainwreck]

Great write yet again! you are a very strong writer.

[Tarik]

it shows how deeply wounded you're and how you're trying to climb out of the wreckage of your life through writing such tender lines.

[Dream Weaver]

A very emotive piece...to me it felt like each stanza had
its own personal sadness...truly a very tight write and
that's a good thing my friend...

[Cynthia]

I love this much, although it turned cold at the end. I still think its kinda sweet. the mood of emotions changed all of a sudden, however, it doesn't sound strange at all, like a roller coaster ( Is this right? Comparing it to a roller coaster), I just love it! In the first part, you told us what love is to you, them you told us another thing, i love the changing of topic and moods :)
Amazing!

[Rose Masen]

L-O-V-E-D the last line. It was an abrupt ending, so full of intensity. You did a lovely job with this one.

[Midday_Mystery]

This is very interesting and rather cold at the end, all the technicals are in the right spot and its a very vivid very consise write! Great Job

[Deactivated_BurningDemo..]

A bitter sweet poem I think. The sense of loss I got from this was quite dark but it was almost as though all the words were lies hiding the wanting of love. A great write, a sad read.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

:(

[SpokenWord]

How would one earn someone's love? I think this poem says much about love some things in light and some things in black. I know most people seem to love the ending the best but to me my personal favorite part is this:

"Live for the here and now
New relationships embrace
Your feelings are allowed to change
Your face will remain your face "

I think with love people should make a choice to love the person they are with on a daily bases and if things have changed to a point were the love has died then on that day they should chose to move on. Live for here and now to me reinforces that because many stay in a loveless relationship because of the past and how it was once beautiful.

Excellent write, loved it.

[Shardbearer99]

I don't quite know what to say about this poem. Yeah, it was a little short, but it really worked. It was sweet, too. It does point out a good thing about relationships, though. "dealing with a love you always thought would last" - I think this is what so many young couples who experience love for the first time imagine what it'll be like; it'll be perfect, with no drawbacks. Nothing can possibly go wrong. But what they don't realise is that things can change, sometimes bad, sometimes good. Love doesn't always last between the same two people; it can, but it also can't. It's a trick game when dealing with the matter of love. People eventually do get hurt. But they can also work together to make it work, growing as one. I really did like this little piece of poetry and hope you continue to write more like these in the future. Well done, mate. Great work