Hold tight but not too tight

Hold tight but not too tight

A Poem by {A}shley {B}lack @-;-
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A poem about management crisis

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Hold It Tight But Not Too Tight
Continuing this long day of work Imperfections do arise
They think because I’m in charge I’m open to compromise 
“You were one of us” A factual excuse
But now the weight is on my shoulders 
Your review I must dispute
The manager walks in notices laziness in the ranks
expect my name to be called and not receiving thanks
“Ashley to the Managers office”
Fears ignited, anger rises at the service from my friends
I can’t even excuse their behaviour I hope they make amends
“Listen here black” the voice bellows from his chair
your idiotic , not suitable , I really do despair 
My anger rises and I see red I try to talk him down
“but sir they won’t listen I’m just a decorated clown”
he stands this rotund mass of  sweat upon me places a hand
“your not the man I thought you were 
YOUR FIRED UNDERSTAND!”
With those words I can’t contain the feelings deep inside
The managers final resting place is where we now reside 
reaching ,gripping the throat I squeeze until he’s blue
Not holding too tightly though his suffocated scream I pursue
“heeeeeellllp” there it is angelic sounds to my ears
Look into his piercing eyes my smile tempts his fears
My strangulation, suffocating , sufficing for his words 
Relinquishing my duties for the ignorance of the herds
Spluttering and gasping my vice like grip meets no end
Last memories, nail in the coffin, my incarceration soon to spend
But then the alarm goes off as I awaken from my slumber
How frequently I kill my boss my mind does often wonder 

© 2011 {A}shley {B}lack @-;-


Author's Note

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
Please give honest reviews as always

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Featured Review

I like the subject matter of this poem. It made me smile (I'm sure there are many of us who have dreamed of killing a bad boss). I like the rhyming scheme you used. I enjoyed this poem

For Technicals:
I find the flow of it is a little disjointed, but I think that is only because it lacks punctuation. And I don't mean that you should put a comma after every line (which some people seem to think equals proper punctuation) but actual proper punctuation. If there would be a comma in that line in Prose there should still be one in poetry. You have it a bit at the end and thats it. Also you need to capitalize your name when you use it. The only other problem is you have a few small gramatical errors, but otherwise well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I hope your boss doesn't see this! I was definitely shocked the transition to a subtle story to something much more radical.

Posted 13 Years Ago


somewhat disturbing, but the best ones always are... interesting... it left me wanting to read more.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I am lucky to have a boss I don't want to kill, LOL.

The writing was awesome, and the story took turns and twists that kept us looking. yes many must have this same dream because work is no joy! My thoughts are this is a wonderful write, creative, dark and some what funny.

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I love the twist at the end! That was great! I love the images in this poem. You wrote this well and I can see everything you say! Really great!

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is good. And shows how imaginative the mind is and how thinking all of that you can still refrain from actually doing what your thinking if you get what i mean :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Brilliant.. dark and humorous... when you work in a environment like that, your going to think crazy things. That's why I'm scared of getting job... LOL
Thumbs up! 100/100!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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676 Views
16 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on March 3, 2011
Last Updated on March 3, 2011

Author

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
{A}shley {B}lack @-;-

Sheriffhales, Shropshire , United Kingdom



About
I Am Ashley Black (an alter ego ) I have a dark mind when it comes to my poetry as the strongest emotions come from negative RETURNING- I have been distant from this site for a while but I am fina.. more..

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