Third In Line

A poem that describes suffering from abuse

Third In Line

The thud of the door opens a perilous time

lashing out, barking orders “Family In Line”

Rooms not to standard work is not done 

releasing the clasp to his belt, now we must run

Mother protecting children as fist puts her down

grabbing his eldest pulling hair from the crown

I sit there reading of marvellous medicines and BFG

when this giant looks down towering over me

The mother reacts her youngest in tears

A boot to his face ignite her worst fears

 

A knife her only option a means to escape

running downstairs but now its too late

wrist fractured, nose broken by powerful hand

ribs broken, mouth bleeding for making a stand

one is dealt with now the eldest must pay

belt round the face a buckle mark lay 

This giant towers over me for the second time

 its always in sequence his fist does align

pain I can deal with but not being third in line  

Author's Note

Please give honest reviews

Reviews

[Dev]

That there is family abuse in this world, is perhaps the saddest thing. I mean we complain about bombs and guns but often many people don't say one thing about the fists and the kicks. They just live with it and that's sad. Such violence and subsequent anger that originates at home spreads to the streets. Your write was very vivid and hence very powerful. I can almost imagine what the family must go through every time the offender walk through the door. It's a very nice write.
I don't think anyone should live through something like this and I'm sorry if you had to...!!

[Samantha (:]

This was an amazing and touching poem. Your rhyming gave it a good ring, but not to the point where it was a 3rd grade level poem. I just love it.

[Caitlynxoxo]

your comparisons always seem to fit the poems they are used in :) Like for instance, the father in contrast with a giant. There were so many aspects of this poem that i loved, like the description, and the emotion present in the words. It was all very well done! Thanks for reading

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

[Ashley Myers]

so sad. i love the way you rhyme. its just so sad though so many families feel this every day

wow, i loved it. it was strong and emotional. i liked the way you halndled a touchy subject. it flowed really. overall it was great.

[GamingGal]

Pros: Not many write about such a topic. It's harder to write on, not to mention a tender subject. But, nonetheless, your rhyme scheme was good, had a good rhythm and flow to it. I liked how you separated the stanzas as well to where each one sort of told its own story.

Cons: I'm not sure if I like the dad being compared to a giant. The word just....I'm not sure.

Overall: It was an interesting read.

[felica mariiee]

Revealing a pain only some may understand yet they will never speak up against it because there fears tear them down. Over all this is brilliant write, with a eye opening meaning, once again brilliant work!

[nightmask]

"grabbing his eldest pulling hair from the crown" this is my favorite line, I like how you compared the father to a giant, rhyme scheme worked really well great job :]

[Dische]

Very deep and depressing but that is what makes a good poem like this, please send me some more read requests I really enjoy you writing thank you for posting it all.

[Dilan Gray]

That made me want to cry, it was so sad. It was great though!